Occasional sex with wife

I didn’t say pmo, I said busting nuts. So you’ve gone years without sex or masturbatuon then? And what was the reason for that?

 

You choose to insult me because I don't wish to retain my seaman like you and you say ' we can't be all winners ' Implying your a winner or better ....in my world view your behaviors suggests the opposite of a winner ... but people have different views ... that's how it is me OLe china

 

I didn't but my nuts for years ...yes years due to religious reasons...

 

Ok, fair enough. Then what could possibly have led you to the conclusion that ejaculating every single day is the way to go?

 

Look , you obviously can't find it in you to say a single positive thing about anything I've done or even show a bit of respect for my world views...may I ask some questions now squire ?

 

Dude… it was difficult but it didn’t require the work stopping an addiction does. The definition of addiction is not being able to stop in spite of horrible consequences. I was 14-23 when I was masturbating, I had zero consequences and didn’t try to stop because I didn’t see a reason to. The coffee analogy, it could be that they are addicted but might be they are just dependent. Until they have terrible consequences and can’t stop in spite of trying then it isn’t by definition an addiction. Yes it was hard, no it did not require the work I see addicts putting in to get and stay clean. I just decided to stop and did. By definition this would not be considered an addiction as I didn’t have consequences nor did I try numerous times and feel terrible about myself. Just because you smoked weed daily doesn’t make it an addiction . If you smoked daily, you lost friends because of it, lost your job because if it, tried numerous times to stop but couldn’t, then it’s an addiction by definition. Otherwise it’s just a habit or a dependency both different than addiction.

 

Nah man, we were just getting to the meat and potatoes. I respect your world view now that I know you have experience in this regard. So tell me, what led you to the conclusion that ejaculating every single day is the way to go after years of abstinence?

 

Lol you are far too hung up on the semantics of the word addiction. Try not to compare every user on this forum to your husband.

 

First of all I never came to the conclusion that ejaculating every single day is the way to go after years of abstinence...I've commented on many of your ridiculous assumptions and answered one or two questions...now have the decency to answer mine ...and I only have 3 questions... are you a man ...why have you joined this site and if you are or were a pmo addict where are you in your journey?

 

Dude, I genuinely want to know. You said that you’re happy having sex with your wife nearly every single day. You also said that you’ve been abstinent for years. Those are 2 extremes that I’m trying to understand here. Please, give me more details if I’m making incorrect assumptions.

Yes I’m a man, I thought that was pretty obvious. I joined this site to gain perspective from like minded people to apply to my life. I’m not a pmo Addict. I’m a man trying to master my sexual discipline.

 

You did already reply to it actually. You’re repeating yourself

 

Addict
noun
person who cannot stop doing or using something, especially something harmful:
a drug/heroin addict
a gambling addict
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/addict

If you can just stop a behavior or substance, then you're not addicted to it.

 

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/addict
“1: one exhibiting a compulsive, chronic, physiological or psychological need for a habit-forming substance, behavior, or activity”
- in her own words, “it helps me sleep.” That’s a physiological and or psychological need for a habit-forming behaviour.

“2: one strongly inclined to do, use, or indulge in something repeatedly”

You really wanna play this game? Sorry bud but she didn’t “just stop.” It’s a lot more complicated than that.

 

All you've done is find another source which repeats what I posted in a different way.

As stated in the definition you posted as well as the one I posted, compulsivity is a necessary characteristic in order to call something an addiction. If she, as she stated in her own words, just decided to stop and stopped, then it means she was not addicted.

It is as simple as that. Now, I know you are sticking to your guns, so you just go ahead and do that, bud.

 

Women (in general) don't make sex an issue for themselves. That's why we don't fill up prisons.

Now lack of sex can be a problem, and a big one for some married women. But as many wise people are pointing out in here, wanting sex and being addicted to masturbation is two completely different things. Some of us turn our sorrows into other problems, like overeating, over exercising, shopping. Or, we turn our grief and "lack of" into useful things, like managing the household, build a career, fostering animals or raise children, write, paint or whatever it may be.

Being rejected due to your partner wanting to play with himself is also a major cold shower, and I don't think any sane woman can retain the same attraction/desire for sex to a person like that in the long run. So there are definitively solutions!

 

There was a time in my life when I was addicted to pmo...then I took the path and abstained from pmo and at that time I didnt have a wife or girlfriend and I didnt fornicate with different woman..so for years I went without " busting my nut " as you put ..after that I got married pmo crept back into my life many years later ...I battled it for years ( usually giving in to my desires ) I eventually over come it and with the help and support of my wife...( if it adds any context im married to a different woman now..happily for many years )

I now have regular sex with my wife...this tends to be often or most days...its not something planned or structured so to speak...we just do it often.I feel its a good thing ...maybe I misunderstand but you think me having regular sex with my wife is something odd and peculiar ...an exception to the rule..?? if thats your view then fine.

So you dont have PMO issues your just hear to master your sexual discipline and part of that means you prevent yourself from ejaculation ...If that works for you then great wish you all the best in this pursuit ..take care

 

Sorry to barge in, but I'd dare to say that yes, everyday sex is not the standard frequency. I'm not married, but I live with my girlfriend, and work, each one's schedules and life in general makes it complicated to have relationships on a daily basis. And this goes beyond the sex drive of one or the other.

 

Forgive me but I dont think I mentioned this , not once did I say 'every day ' ..but if you think every day sex is the same as me saying most days or the same as me saying regularly then fair enough.

Look dont get me wrong fella, I have a busy life to, my wife is busy with the children or on her college course and im working, its full on here ...But like many couples we sleep in the same bed..not to be crude or anything but were not exactly wearing jackets and fleeces in bed..one thing tends to lead to another ..we desire each other and we end up having intimacy ..it really is as simple as that..

I could be totally wrong ( and this is not geared at you fella )but it seems that because I say I have regular sex with my mrs..its presumed that im some chauvinistic pig who drags my wife by her hair into the bedroom and tells her who's who and whats what ....if I told you something would you believe me ? I just said to my wife ..do I oppress you..or force you do you feel Im harming you..she just laughs and says she loves me ...( I dont do those things by the way )

Im certainly not one to advice ..but I recently got rid of my smart phone ...many pros and cons but the pros out weigh ..lifes better

 

I know what you mean and I agree...to give context ...this whole thread started by some guy saying a few things about his addiction ..amongst other things he also mentioned that sometimes his wife rejects him when he wants sex ( if I understand right ) and he has sex with her about twice a month but would like a more active sex life. Im now actually wondering if they sleep in the same bed ...anyway ..who knows

 

I agree with you that if the husband is rejecting his wife due to pmo use, the couple can fall out of the habit of having regular sex, and that is not good at all. Ideally though, if the husband is on nofap and has cut out PMO, I see benefits to both the wife and husband being open to re-engaging in intimate relations with each other.