Im a hairy man lol. I was always insecure about that. And I thought pmo caused it. But maybe it is just genetics.
High hairline. Some thinning that has been there for several years, but hasn't grown worse. Sometimes my voice. It's very low and I tend to slur if I'm not making a conscious effort to articulate. It's fairly common for people to ask me to repeat what I've just said.
I sort of hate my voice too. But for different reasons. To me it sounds too high pitched and not deep enough. Which sort of gives my grand uncle more reason to pick on me and talk down to me because of it. I can't also help but think it's a turn off to women too.
Maybe some shallow women, but I doubt most women would care. And that's coming from someone who has a lot of sensitivity to sounds. I still can't imagine anyone having a bothersome enough voice for me to not want to be with them. Unless they had really terrible vocal fry or something, but that's more of a speech pattern thing that can be changed, not a voice thing.
1. My lack of pronounced muscles (primarily biceps), plus some abs that are barely visible unless I have the proper lightning (and even then, they're unimpressive). 2. Some eyebag-esque features under my eyes - I know for a fact they're not eyebags because I always have my full eight hours of sleep. Nevertheless, I believe they make me look creepy or unfriendly, neither of which are the kinds of "vibes" I want to give off.
I totally agree with all of that, for sure. The only reason those comments got to me is because I actually am insecure about that specific thing, so it kind of made me sad to know that other people notice it enough to know that it's the right thing to pick at to get to me. But I try not to think about stuff like that. It's no use to worry about things you can't change, and anyone who cares more about someone's appearance than who they are on the inside isn't worth worrying about either.
Mine have already been covered, but just one word of caution @TakingTheSteps, and I'm sure others will correct me if I am talking bollocks, but we (i.e. men) do not discuss our insecurities with other men. We do talk together, but not (in my experience) about things like that. In a romance novel it might be alluring to readers if the male character breaks the mould and does talk freely about these kind of things, but it's not common.
Actually, I'm with you on this one. In fact, I wouldn't say I'm a super masculine or "macho" guy and I still wouldn't talk about my physical insecurities with other men, especially male friends. I only save that kind of talk for my dad and even then, that was a total of 2 conversations in my entire life. Sitting around with men in a group, being vulnerable and honest about our greatest physical insecurities... imagining myself in that scenario just makes me cringe. Perhaps there are exceptions, there's always that possibility, but I heavily doubt it's very common.
Yes, I'm aware of that. The context in the book makes sense. It's breaking the mold, and it's not exactly a comfortable conversation. I'm not treating it as a common place occurance in the book. But thank you for the advice.
1. My skinny arms. 2. Dandruff. 3. Bad skin. 4. Being relatively short compared to other men where I live. 5. I think I'm too hairy, idk, some women might prefer relatively hairy men but I think I look better when I shave/trim my body hair. Forgot my teeth, I have crooked teeth and I usually don't show my teeth when smiling, have a habit of covering my mouth sometimes when laughing. I have a lot of insecurities. I'm also a bit obsessed about having a flat stomach, it's quite flat in the morning but I can easily get bloated after eating and I can be insecure about that. Well, it's okay if I'm wearing a shirt that mostly hides it, but I wouldn't want to be shirtless or wear just a t-shirt if I'm too bloated.
Crooked teeth can be rearranged with braces, it's not that much of a big deal. You just need to be patient enough.
Having no hair on my head, I use to wear a hair system and recently started smp sessions. That and my height.
This sums up my insecurities too. Although my insecurities come and go. Sometimes I have zero insecurities and other times I think about things I don't like about myself. I'm trying to lose weight and am counting my calories and working out. I've still got some way to go but I'm better than I used to be. Also, I'm quite hairy and for the most part, I'm not bothered but during the summer when it's hot I think it might be a good idea to shave. I suppose if I had a girlfriend and she wanted me to shave I would
1 & 2. Weight/Stomach - I think this correlates with one another and I am sure it's universal, regardless of age, sex, and culture (to an extent.) I don't like looking at myself in the mirror, for the most part, with or without my shirt on; even though admittedly, I am in shape, just nowhere near where I wanna be. 3. Penis - This one should be the most obvious. 4. Face - Goes kind of back to number 1. There are days where I despise looking in the mirror. I don't like my nose. I don't like my smile. 5. Hair - There was a while where I was going bald due to stress and covid. Also I am a hairy dude, and I sometimes wish I wasn't so goddamn hairy. 6. Arms/Hands - My arms are not as big as my chest. Biceps I mean. My hands are very clean and look "effeminate" if that's even possible. I've been told it once and as silly and ridiculous as it sounds, it never left me.
I'm not super confident in the looks-department, but the biggest ones are probably: 1. Lack of jawline. My bodyfat seems to gravitate towards my face giving me a very noticable double chin even though I'm not particularly fat otherwise. 2. Acne/acne scars. I used to have really bad acne, but after taking accutane it chilled out a bit. I still get some pimples though and the amount of persistent acne scars makes my skin look weird. 3. My overall build. I alwayd used to be the skinny guy and to an extent I still feel like I am even though I've reached normal weight and put some muscle to my frame. Despite looking kinda skinny I still have a bit of a belly, because that seems to be the other spot where my bodyfat gravitates. 4. My hair. I just can't seem to find a hairstyle that would really fit me. I wouldn't care that much, because it's not that bad as it is, but I know this is one of the few things related to handsomeness of my face that I actually can affect, so it's hard to stop thinking about it.
It's quite graphic, but with forum anonymity I feel I can share. I have 2 bad conditions on my penis. Phimosis (Which is tightened foreskin on the tip so it doesn't look grown up) and Vitiligo (A permanent white patch on my penis) I am also a virgin, and I think a sexual relationship with a woman is impossible for me because of this issue. Having a penis like this makes me feel terrible every time I look at it. (But on the bright side, loosing my virginity is not my current goal. My current goal is living a porn-free life.)
I had phimosis at one point in my life as well man. It scars you and makes you afraid to be naked in front of another person. There are ways to deal with that. As for Vitiligo, I myself never experienced that
Phimosis can be cured though, no? I used to have it until I forced the foreskin back at the age of 15. Since it didn't go easily back on, I foolishly left it back for a couple of days until the pain forced me to talk to my mom about it, who took me to see a doctor. The doctor did a surgery on it to get it back to it's place and told me to wash under it daily. So I did just that and as I persistently washed it every day, the foreskin slowly stretched to the point where moving it wasn't all that difficult. Now my foreskin is completely normal if we don't count a tiny scar that's so discreet that only I really notice it. And even if your dick was a bit wacky, it shouldn't stop you from having sex. As long as you can get your partner off, they probably care very little about how nice your dick looks.
I definitely need to see a Dr. I think mine requires surgery because it is pretty bad. I won't consider doing it until if i ever get in a relationship though. Thanks for this advice at the end, you are right. It takes much more than just our dicks to impress a lady. In a hypothetical scenario, she would be more tolerent of my imperfection if she Loves me already.
