Wow!! Thank you @dmdjerry I would surely follow your advice as it is what I need to do. I shall start my making small daily goals and would make it a mission to apply for jobs regularly as you mentioned. I just did not have the willpower before and would change that going forward. I am going to be 27 this month and wish to make all these positive changes to myself. It all started with nofap for me and hope this leads the way to other positive things and outcomes. More power and God's grace to us.
Welp. It's been a while since I've been on here. I've been letting myself relapse about every 2 weeks or so. It's not a good cycle. I need some way of contributing to the struggle on a daily basis, so here I am again. I am happily married, I have a son and another on the way. And I am addicted to porn. I never saw myself being addicted for this long in my life. Before I got married, I thought that I would quit by the time I was a husband. When that didn't happen, I thought I would quit before I had children. Now I have a son and I'm just hoping to quit before this addiction begins to affect my family and before my kids grow older. I want to respect myself so that I can be a father they can respect. Anyway, that's where I'm at. Day 0
Day 1 Already having cravings, because my daily routine involves a lot of Instagram scrolling. How are there so many impossibly pretty women out there? But I used to look at my wife with the same desperate lust that I now direct towards Instagram models and pornstars. And when it’s real and when it’s yours, it’s infinitely more satisfying than a porn video. I need to cultivate that attraction towards the person who loves me and is present in my life instead of looking for it in my phone.
So depression is tricky. Did you used to PMO because you were depressed or were you depressed because you PMO’d. Not easy to know. Stopping PMO is a good thing and you should be proud you have 34 days but stopping a bad habit does not automatically replace it with good ones. I think making a list of your goals is a great idea. Also, don’t just think about what you should do, decide who you want to be (ex I want to be a fit person). Then before you make a decision (what am I going to eat?) ask yourself if the person you are becoming would do that (eat that). Live like the person you want to be not who you are. BUT If your depression continues, try to get some professional help. NoFap is a great community and there are great people here, but if your depression is not getting better, don’t continue to try to “self-help” yourself back to happiness. There are people/resources available to assist with depression. It takes strength and courage to get help but you owe it to your future self. (47/90)
84/90- I turn 37 tomorrow. I am not big on birthdays as they have never signified anything good in a very long time and have served to remind me of how much time has elapsed without me accomplishing anything. However, this time around I feel like my 37th year on this planet will be my best one yet.
Happy 37 times around the sun! This next time around is going to be one to remember glad to be taking the trip with all of you! (48/90)
Thank you so much! Much appreciated! You are very encouraging as always. Let us keep up the good fight!
