180 Days Today marks 180 days for me. 6 months has gone by. When I first started I struggled to get through 1 week but now it’s almost second nature. I’m not saying the urges are gone completely, because I’ve definitely had lots of weak moments where all I wanted was to go crazy, but I just took a moment to breathe and let it pass. I have had thoughts and dreams about sex, some days it’s like it was a constant thing, but you just remember it’s in your head and it’s something you’re in control of, not the other way around. I won't be a slave to P or M ever again! But I know it can take a long long time to reset the brain for some people so I will not let my guard down! Thanks for the support everyone it really means the world!
0/365 Fell off my high horse today! Clearly, porn is still something I escape to. I cannot handle rejection at the moment. I got rejected and felt a whole lot of shame and porn seemed to soothe me. Wow! I actually felt better while in the trance of watching porn. However, right now I feel down right shameful and full of guilt. But, I am not giving up. Also, It doesn't erase 95 days of progress. The lesson is clear for me. I need to work on my self image/self esteem so that people don't get to me.
