Hot Take: The Porn Altering Sexuality Argument is Hurting the Growth of NoFap

LOL

 

How am I wrong?

 

I think a lot of people theorize that (non porn-induced) fetishes arise from trauma or events in one's childhood.

 

I'm not sure where I ever said that was wrong. Because that's something I am sure I experienced. I also find them problematic for me especially as I have aged and have experienced things in life.

 

Something I've realized relatively recently is that there is some benefit in reflecting on what experiences within your childhood may have either caused the fetish or, at the very least, given you a predisposition for it.

However, (to stay somewhat relevant to the topic of the thread) some science says that something as large as one's sexuality is rooted from birth in certain physical differences within the brain. Obviously there's a spectrum too. Apparently two nuclei of the mPOA are smaller in homosexual men than in heterosexual males. What if one nuclei is bigger and the other isn't?

So with something like a fetish we ought to consider that one person may be more susceptible to developing it based on certain physical differences that arise before birth. But I do not think that they can occur without some sort of environmental stimulus to encourage it.

Now the thing that throws everything into the water is that the brain is extremely plastic and changeable. Hebb's rule is that "neurons that fire together wire together" but also that "neurons that fire apart wire apart." So there will be some degree of changeability of your fetish even during adulthood.

 

The phrasing you used "born with" was what confused some people, which is, respectfully, a bit confusing, unless English is not your first language.

What you're saying is true, not every kink or fetish is induced by porn. Did you know kinks can even be transmitted through genes? You can have affinity towards kinks your parents have. (But even in this case you are not born with them.)

But regardless of it being from trauma or any affinity, watching porn will make them worse and twist them more than they used to be.

 

Again, I agree with all of that. My first realization of my "Fetish" started with a wet dream I had when I was around 12 or 13. Did I know they can be transmitted through genes? Possibly, but no one ever discussed them.

Yes, you're right, watching porn will certainly make them worse. But, I fear I cannot tame them or become more vanilla. I just feel like my sexuality just has spiraled out of control and I'll never be able to have a healthy sexuality.

That said, I think you and I are on the same page. Much more detailed of a response you gave, as opposed to the other poster who simply said "LOL". Don't you think?

 

Your mindset needs to change I think. You know a lot of people on this forum have spent years on a fetish but have successfully chose how to live their life sexually.

 

Chose how to live their life sexually...Can you elaborate?

 

Yea in my case I had a sissy porn fetish. People in my position could tend to choose to wear chastity cages and participate in anal play or they could choose a more traditional route in their sex life. The latter option is probably dependent on them leaving the porn behind.

 

My fear is that I am stuck with these fetishes.

 

Thanks to you, appreciated! This forum should definitely be a place of comfort and safety, not a cause for distress