Good day everyone! I would like to discuss a topic that's been on my mind and gather some thoughts on this. Sexual Content (that is NOT Pornography) Lets talk about these things. Here are some examples. Sexy/attractive women in media (such as advertisements) Things that turn you on such as kinks/fetishes (not the extreme ones) I feel like a lot of these things are inevitable when you browse the internet or even stumble upon advertising through your phones, computers or even in the real world. There's bound to be something "triggering". So here's my question. Can we train ourselves to disassociate the thought of PMO from said media? Because I feel like once you go long enough ignoring it (not fantasising or peeking/staring at it of course) your brain will eventually realise this is not something that requires MO. I thought of this because I remember back when I hit my long streak of 188 days, a lot of the content that I saw on social media didn't seem to affect/bother me as long as I didn't view it purposefully. If it's there, it's there and I just move on and ignore it. How sustainable do you guys think this method of thinking would be? Just pouring my thoughts here, wanted to hear everyone's ideas about it
Social media women seem more human than pornstars. I can sometimes see the frustration and dissapointment in them, it makes me sad an by empathizing with them I can´t pornify them anymore. Or maybe it´s my own dissapontment in society, but anyway, I see them differently now.
I wrote a good post on the forum about this a while back, I dont know how to find it so I'll write it again. Essentially what helped me is a story about Picasso. Someone recognized him on the train and walked up to him and said "Picasso I like your art but why don't you paint things that are more real?" Picasso said "what do you mean more real?" The man said "you know, your paintings are all odd. Why not paint a tree or here, what about this photo of my wife. That's real" Picasso took the photo in his hands, he examined it quite closely, he flipped it around and said "your wife is very small, and very very flat" In the same way that he looked at the photo, you can, with a little practice, can 'flatten' the pictures you see online and turn them into a collection of colors and shapes rather than people. It takes practice and presence. Give it a try and report back to this forum or to me personally, always happy to help. Rich
I really like this. It really gets you thinking! Because honestly yes, I do believe that eventually we're going to have to not sexualise everything we see just because we find it attractive and it might help a lot with fixing these PMO related issues.
oh, wow. that's brilliant. by manipulating your perception you gain control over stimulus entering the eye. the main difficulty is that upon contact with the eye, feeling arises. and if that feeling is lust/pleasure, you're already in danger of NOT WANTING to shift your perception to a neutral one (i.e; small, and very very flat.) But if you can manage to register such a feeling upon its arising, then you could manipulate the perception.
Is what you´re trying to say, in plain words, simply to ignore this content? Because "Turn them into a collection of colors and shapes rather than people" sounds kind of dehumanizing, which is exactly what I would try to avoid since this type of thinking is what lead me to porn consumption. What is it I´m not seeing?
Hmm I don't think he meant it in the way that we dehumanise the person, but rather desexualise the media in that sense. Because if the first connection our minds make when coming across said media is to sexualise it , that would be problematic. In essence, we should learn to differentiate such things from a real partner and healthy sexual activity. At least this is the way I see it!
The dehumanizing that comes with PMO is when we turn a person into a sexual object. The loss is the loss of human connection and having a healthy meaningful relationship. It disconnects sex from connecting with a person. You get to the destination without the journey. "Flattening the image" is transforming the realm of your sensory perception, as said above. I had that same feeling when I first read the story and started doing it. After some self-examination I realized that by looking at her sexually or looking at her as a collection of shapes and colors, I WAS NOT CONNECTING WITH HER. It was an avoidance of meeting people in the real world and having normal healthy relationships. Flattening the image gives you back the power and is a 'shock' to realize that it isn't a real person you're looking at and it will never replace a human connection. In my situation, it was my ego wanting to cling to the safety of the fake women I saw online and the easy access to it all. It was my ego trying to keep me safe, but being safe does not mean I was happy.
I am not sure I understand the question. Do you mean if we would be able to not pornify sexualized media or if we should make a clear distinction between them? If it's the latter, I think it's very important to classify sexualized media as a milder form of pornography in order to be careful not to cast eyes on it with a conviction it's innocent. That is why I voted "No", but I really have no clue what this question even means, so if someone understands, please let me know.
