Parental control against pornographic videos

Not only would I put restrictions on home internet devices, I wouldn’t even let my kids have a smartphone until they’re no longer kids. There are plenty of great dumb-phones that have talk and text; kids don’t need smartphones or social media; heck, adults can’t even use those things responsibly.

 

Lock it down for sure but he can still find it outside the home and more than likely at school. When its time tell him the truth. I was told at that age that porn was for adults but not why it was bad no explanation. If I had a son I would tell him straight up that P desensitizes and corrupts your brain and will ruin real life future relationships and he should not jeopardize his future happiness for immediate pleasure. Having a male role model is half the battle won.

 

When I was 11, I had full rights over my computer. I knew that war games were a bad thing; so I didn’t play any war games. It’s as simple as that. Talk with your kid what’s okay and what’s not okay on a computer. If you don’t give your kid full rights over his computer, he will become a computer idiot.

Otherwise, watch out that your 11 year old does not install parental control on your computer, and locks you up in a chastity device, too.

 

It means they will be less independent. If they take the wrong bus, they can’t resolve the issue by going online to look at the map or to find another bus. Ad if they are in trouble, they can’t call 112 (or 911).

There are five year olds who can.

 

It’s ironic you say taking a smartphone away from them will make them less independent while at the same time advocating for smartphone dependence. I used to have the same excuses for not giving up my own smartphone and guess what? Not only did these things not happen all the time, but when they did happen I used my brain to overcome them. Most of the difficulties you mentioned can be overcome with some simple planning. Also I don’t see how a dumb phone will keep kids from being able to call emergency services such as police.

Yes; There is an exception to every rule, but this doesn’t invalidate the rule.

 

It is exploitative and disgraceful against the actors, it is a violation of human dignity, and it is illegal in the majority of countries.

 

No offense but you’re 43 years old, and the amount of dangers that existed on a computer when you were 11 yrs old are exponentially different than what an 11 yr old faces today.

Setting up boundaries and restrictions on the computer for children helps them learn how to use the computer as a tool for their benefit instead of their demise. No one’s advocating anyone become a Luddite, lol.

 

This. I have 10 and 8 year old boys and a baby girl. Now is the time to start talking to them about the stuff that exists on the internet and the consequences that can come with it. I let my 10 year old read some of the comments on ybop and picked a few from here was well last time we had a sex talk, partly because it's time, but also because some other kid showed him a

Spoiler: Trigger warning

anal rape and ripping

video clip on the school bus and he came home sobbing because he didn't know how to help her, but now his and several other students' first exposures were at ages 7-11 because some other parent chose not to be responsible.
I teach high school and giving your child a smart phone, even a parental app controlled one, is handing them free access to the internet as well as handing all their friends free access to the internet. You think today's 20-somethings have an epidemic of porn addiction, but you have not seen anything compared to today's 15 year olds. Underage kids honestly have no business with the unsupervised access granted by a smartphone.

 

It’s sad how many kids are being traumatized like this; it’s digital sexual abuse. The fact that here, in the U.S., the porn companies viciously attacked a proposed law to enforce age verification via license id number, stating it would hurt their very existence was very telling that they’re targeting kids.

It’s shameful that my country hasn’t restricted the access of porn. It’s unfair that families have to pay monthly subscriptions to protect their kids from this filth while the consumers of it don’t have to pay a dime. It should be reversed.

 

If your kids do not learn how to install an operating system, they will become computer idiots. In order to install parental control software on their computer, you have to forbid them to change the system, or else the parental control software will be gone. In order to prevent your kids from de-installing or circumventing your software, you must even revoke them admin status.

Installing parental control on your router does not work either, because there are people and places that offer free WiFi.

And if your kids bring an SD card full of porn from school, all your software will fail completely.

Parental control software gives you a wrong feeling of security, doesn’t work, but takes away freedom and education from your kids.

The proper way to do it is to talk to your kids about the dangers and look over their shoulders what they do with their computer.

 

In most countries, porn is illegal, and therefor the porn industry is almost non-existent.

It should forbid the production and dissemination of porn.

Wait. Do you mean you actually pay for that idiotic parental control software?

 

Why not do that. ESP to prevent an accident. But have you noticed any signs that he may develop this kind of a problem?

 

I agree with the suggestion of talking to your child about this. As a kid I was informed about underage drinking, smoking, taking hard drugs etc and none of them were a problem for me, but when it came to pornography the one that nobody talked to me about is the one I'm struggling with. Having said that I know I have to take responsibility but if I knew then what I know now I don't think I would allowed myself to sink so deeply into it before realizing how problematic it is.

In addition I personally don't think I would give a kid a smartphone before the age of 16.

 

There are plenty of adults who do not know how to install a computer operating system and who survive just fine. Regardless, how does putting restrictions on a computer keep you from teaching your child the fundamentals of a computer later on in life? It doesn’t.

Resections and filters only give a false sense of security if you’re naive enough to think they’re fool proof. Yet, just because they aren’t fool proof doesn’t mean they’re not beneficial for a time; Especially a time when you can focus on educating your child and forming them into a healthy adult who won’t be easily influenced by bad content the first time they see it, so when the training wheels do come off, and they’re on their own, they won’t crash and burn and become another username on NoFap complaining about how they’ve lost 30 yrs of their life to porn.

Telling me I’m stunting my kids education because I won’t give them unrestricted access to a computer and internet, filled with predators, is like telling me I’m stunting my kids education in gun safety by not giving them a loaded weapon, safety off, and with no prior classes at the range.

 

Yes, and they also don’t even know how to copy a file, or even what a file is. I know such people. Certainly they do survive somehow.

The best time to learn is when you are interested in a topic. If you say: “You must not learn to install Linux, because if you did, you would disable the porn blocker. You have to wait until you are 18.”, this topic is over. At 18, your kid will not be interested in computers anymore.

Your assumption that kids will automatically “crash and burn” into porn addicts unless you lock them away from the outside world is wrong.

Kids react very differently. I watched a lot of soft porn on TV when I was 14, and I also taped it on VHS. One day a friend came over, who was at the same age as myself, and I showed him the tapes. And while I was laughing and having fun, I noticed at some point that he was frozen into a stare. He stared at the screen with his mouth half open and his tongue sticking out. And I thought: “What? Is he really taking this seriously???” The next morning at breakfast, my father told us: “You know, these films give you a wrong impression. Life is not about having sex, it is mostly about work.” I was a bit embarrassed because I already knew that! But later I thought that his words were directed at my friend, and for him, these words were really appropriate. He had strict catholic parents and two younger brothers. Maybe he never had a chance to talk openly at home about sex.

The reason I am here is because of masturbation addiction, not porn addiction. For me, porn is in some aspects funny, in other aspects disgusting, but I never found porn to be addictive. I think I’m immune to it. And that brings me to an interesting point. You can lock the porn away, but your kids can still become masturbation addicts. In order to prevent this by using the same authoritarian approach, you would have to lock them up with chastity devices. I don’t know if that’s legal in your country.

It’s a perfect example of police state mentality, and I am glad that my parents didn’t raise me that way.

 

Good grief, what parent would say that to their kid? I swear, it’s like you’re purposely trying to be extreme in order to paint my position as an extreme one.

I never said kids will automatically crash and burn.

Basically you interpreted his behavior as being a result of his religious upbringing, instead of interpreting his behavior as a natural response to such stimuli. Just pushing that crap on a kid, especially at 14 when hormones are raging, is just irresponsible. What you did with your friend was the irresponsible behavior not your friends parents.

Again an exception doesn’t disprove the rule.

Another attempt to frame my position as extreme since you can’t argue the point presented regarding pornography, so you have to change the topics now to masturbation. It might shock you to know there are different approaches for different situations.

You call it “police state” and I call it responsible parenting. There are tons of dangers involved in computers now vs when you were 11 yrs old, 14 yrs old, etc. Computers are now places where predators pray on children, try to lure them into sex, traffic them, pervert them with porn, and on and on and on. But, no, I’m extreme for suggesting a parent put up barriers to such predators in order to better keep their children safer.

Anyway, I think we’re just going to have to agree to disagree.

 

I have to add to this back and forth that nearly all of my high schoolers have had smartphones since elementary school and have had unfettered access to computers. Most don't know how to copy/paste and could not tell you what a hard drive or OS is. They have no idea how their programs work because technology has gotten smooth enough that they don't have to think about it or troubleshoot, ever. People learn useful computer skills when they're given tasks that require them to learn useful computer skills, not by free access. Free access encourages lowest level skill reinforcement (just clicking around).

 

And during covid when I literally watched the computers of 200-250 14-17 year olds, the ones who reported to have used computers the most (because I was hoping to find knowledgeable student leaders to lead small groups) had built those "wheelbarrow ruts" of "when I go online, I do this" and were the ones who found it hardest to stay on task and perform the learning target. My chemistry and physics classes basically became computer literacy courses for 9 weeks because most of their other teachers (the age of teachers right now is almost a reverse bell curve-- they're either a few years from retirement of in their first few years, but definitely heavily biased towards the older end) also did not know how to do these things and needed about 9 weeks of me teaching our STAFF basic computer literacy.