The Lord of the Rings Challenge

had 4 days now day 0 it was no p but comic buts not better so idc
stay strong!

 

Checking in Fellowship Friend's

9 Day's Free of PMO.

Stay Strong!

 

100 days – You enter the region of Ithilien. "A fair country of climbing woods and swift-falling streams."
100 days. A huge milestone!!

 

@Reghu nice work!

 

Day 13. The PMO forces were at your tail but you crossed the Ford of Bruinen, leaving them behind. The House of Elrond is in sight!

 

17 days

 

Day 37!

 

Day 52. Emergency report.

Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted.

Woke up tempted, too. But instead of pmo went for a walk and street gymnastics. I enjoyed. Very nice weather. Opened shorts season. Could have opened earlier, I guess, but it's still difficult to believe that it's so hot already. Maybe global warmings is really a thing.

I don't know. Very difficult to abstain now. Seems that I am sacrificing big pleasure. Well, probably I am. But pmo never fulfills me. After every relapse I am just sorry that I did that. I want to see, where can I go with hardmodes, and every relapse brings me back to square one and leaves me with questions and doubts. And I think I want some answers now.

Actually, this thing is very simple. Simple choice - to keep abstaining or relapse and admit that I failed. But my brain keeps offering me various convoluted scenarios.

For years I pushed emotions away with pmo. In my teen and later years I masturbated almost every day. Sad -> pmo, angry -> pmo, anxious -> pmo, avoidant -> pmo, depressed -> pmo, too happy, manic -> pmo,... I think back then I could pass baseline test easily because of so much numbing myself. But now I am not even close to baseline. Of course, I don't know how to deal with emotions in healthy way. But, live and learn.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 52.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee at all. No tea, chocolate, etc. after 18:00.
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

Good job!

 

Day 52. II. Emergency report.

Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted. Tempted.

This will pass.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 52.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee at all. No tea, chocolate, etc. after 18:00.
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

Day 52. III. Emergency report.

Still tempted.

Checking students' algebra stuffs works. I have a challenge for myself to check them in one day. Can I do that? If I do, I'll buy a pizza pie as a reward.

This should get my mind off temptations a little bit.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 52.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee at all. No tea, chocolate, etc. after 18:00.
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

Day 392

 

Day 55

 

Day 52. IV. Emergency report.

There is a fight going in my mind. I know that after relapse I'll be sorry, but I still want to pmo.

Let's try to calm down with chill musics.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 52.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee at all. No tea, chocolate, etc. after 18:00.
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.

 

Checking in Fellowship Friend's

10 Day's Free of PMO.

Stay Strong!

10 days – You spend the night at the old Watchtower of Amon Sûl. PMO forces are lurking in the area.

 

Day 0. I'm back.

 

Day 101.

 

18 days
Doing fine in general. Tonight I'll be home alone for a few hours but if I prepare myself I will manage I'm sure.

Stay vigilant brothers!

 

Day 38!

 

Day 53.

Not sure if this is an emergency, but I am tempted. It is what it is...

Got up on time. Went for a walk. Nice weather. Can't complain.

Not sure how I feel. There is some happiness that I survived yesterday evening without a relapse. That was not easy. But at the same time I'm a bit tired and low. And frustrated... I would like to just rest, but I have stuff to do... That's life.

Let's stay focused. Good chunk of time left until July 3rd.

Spoiler: Journey stuff

Next reward - denim jacket on July 3rd.
Hard mode + no shutting blockers down - day 53.
No matter what happens in my life, this is important to me and this streak has to continue.
No coffee at all. No tea, chocolate, etc. after 18:00.
Calisthenics workout every Saturday. I can do one additional workout on any chosen day.