My therapist thinks sex is a need - valid?

I think your therapist is close, but missing the point.
If you think about Maslow’s hierarchy, sex is a physical need on his list. But it’s not a need in the same sense of food and water. We will not die if we don’t have sex.
Also, the definition of sex. What is sex? Is sex only about the orgasm? If you are physically intimate with someone and you don’t orgasm does that mean you didn’t have sex?
Sex is a complicated thing. It was never meant to be safe. It’s a precious thing that most of us here have treated as cheap. I know I have. At its best, it is designed to bond people for life. At its worst it’s just people using people.
Sorry for that rant. I used “sex as a need” as an excuse for a long time. I’m done with that. It’s killing me to act out with people outside my marriage. I have to stop.

 

You therapist is spouting off the Lie of the 20th Century: sex is a need just like sitting on the toilet and taking a shit.

No, this is wrong. From a purely biological perspective, sex is only for reproduction, and nothing else. Those who have never masturbated or have practiced Semen Retention for 90 days to one year, can confirm that it is an addiction, and the more you do it, the more you are a slave to the addiction. The more you do it, your Mind becomes Darkened, you cannot think higher thoughts, and you develop other addictions in other areas that increase your Slavery. Some of the ancients said that you are a slave to the extent of the vices that control you. Thus, if you are not having sex for reproduction, you are being controlled by Lust, and thus, you are a Slave.

So, your therapist, in cooperation with the Elites, is trying to make you a Slave with the False counsel you have received. They are instruments of Evil.

 

Hi. Good questions. Just gonna pit my answers because the insight in the posts thus far is excellent, so I dont want to muddy the waters. My answers may reflect previous posts.

1. Sex, not a NEED. Otherwise God would probably have had some masturbation regimen in the Mosaic Law. He had many laws that were not spiritual, but physical. He said cover your poop when you're done. Don't have relations with your wife if she is having her period. Dont eat pork because you won't get trichinosis. Well he didnt actually say it, but you gotta think he had to do something to help them avoid stuff.

Pretty sure your therapist is wrong on that. It is a need if you are married and want to have children, or you want to please the very special lady that..... (Answer 2)

You have a unique attraction to a woman that you have committed in marriage to and have bonded in a special way that is unique thru your personality, likes, dislikes, romantic feelings, faith and you would literally lay down your life for without question because your heart is bound up with love and ecstasy for her only.

 

Oh, by the way....

My doctor said maybe I need to think about seeing a sex therapist, when I was really at my low point, I was a total mess. I had been struggling in my fight to not be resentful of my situation, try not to MO, try to help my wife to make sure she didn't feel inadequate because of her situation, try to keep my hormonal mood swings in check.

You know what that is like? It's insanity. So I had just began my locking because nothing was working.

So I figured what the hey I will call and have a consultation because why not throw everything at my problem and hope something sticks.

I may not follow thru but maybe something they say will click a switch in the gray matter between my ears.

I called and said the whole deal and all the things I had done and was doing, all of the above.Here is what I got...

Well first you need to make sure you love yourself yada yada yada... I said would this involve masturbation? She said, of course, all my clients programs that I construct involve self love and getting in touch with themselves and a regular program of masturbation is a part of that.

I said.... Hmmmm, thanks for your time.

So I called another.

Told her all of the above. She asked me a few questions. I expressed to her that I love my wife and I just need to know if what I am doing is something that will lead to a better situation for me. I need validation or course correction.

I told her what I was doing and she said I was doing all the right things and if I do them and stay the course, that I will see results. She could tell I was in love with my wife more than life, and certainly more than sex. I expressed disdain for someone saying I need MO. She agreed that it is not always wise.

She said I don't really know what else I could do other than to continue what I am doing. That included being locked to draw attention away from MO and turning even more inward.

So there you have it. To MO or not to MO? That is the question. The answer is that it's never the right answer. It is the destroyer. Not the building up.

Some Therapists need some serious psychological help. Funny but true. Two people with a common objective with opposite views. Thanks... I will pass on that advice.

 

I personally know several people in varying levels of the counseling industrial complex.
Let’s just say there is a reason or two they go into that field. Most are trying to figure out their own issues.
This may not be true of all, but I’ve found it the rule rather than the exception.

 

I know, nofap can sound like a brainwash to some and it maybe is. But for some people mo might just be a normal thing. I also had a talk with a doc who told me to enhoy mo, not too often, but simply to do the act without regretting it. It is imo that once you are on nofap and clearly experience a positive feedback you kinda get to know some truth about semen retention that you are just not able to deny. The choice to stick to sr is upon every man to be choosen by themselfes, but if i compare life on sr and life on mo ( and i dobt even mean daily mo, more like once in a week or once in two weeks) i clearly cant deny the impact of sr on my physical and psycological wellbeing.

 

Therapy is overrated and you always have the option of not seeing a therapist.

I think MO is ok as long as it's done in moderation. Just like there's nothing wrong with drinking alcohol in moderation. The problem is some people are wired so they can't do it in moderation. I think a lot of us are wired in a way where moderate MO is impossible.

The way I see it sex is like chocolate. Do we need chocolate to live? No, but there is nothing wrong with treating ourselves now and again. I would say having rewards are vital for one's mental health. If all you do is work and not receive any rewards for the work you do you will burn out.

 

Imagine paying to hear this

 

I used “sex as a need” to justify a lot of behaviors.

 

I’m finding other alternatives to relieving that tension that are not sexual. The gym has been a significant part of my success this time around. Intense workouts help a lot. Other recreational activities outdoors help a lot as well. I’m finding good results staying orgasm free.

 

Yes, sexual expression is a need. The only time this isn't true is if someone is asexual with absolutely no desire whatsoever for sex. If, however, you are not asexual then your sexual "energy", for lack of a better word, is always going to be there running in the background and influencing your thoughts and actions, and will be expressed, with or against your will, in various ways subtle or overt. You can't escape it, ever, until you die, or get some disease that kills it before the rest of you dies. An adult male who has no sexual energy, grosses people out, pisses women off, and inspires no respect in other men. So yes, sex is a need.
That being said, you don't need to have sex or masturbate ever and you will continue living - badly. Masturbation is just a substitute for sex, and if you have to make that substitute then something is wrong somewhere. Masturbation is not healthy. Period. It's a form of failure. They should teach that in schools. You can live your life with no sex, and that doesn't need to be just no intercourse, could also be no kissing, no hand holding or sexual touching of any kind, or even flirting or sexy talk, or even poetry, no raunchy guitar solos, and the list goes on, but I don't recommend it.

 

I would pay no attention to what those of this world consider “normal,” or “healthy.”

nobody in the history of the world has ever died from lack of sex. Food however..

1) to no extent. It is not a need in any way shape or form. It’s a want. And because it’s want, you can change your mind to not want it. But the only way you’ll succeed in that mind shift is if you have a damn good reason to want to retain, as it is a very cheap, simple and compelling want. 2) I think you shouldn’t bother concerning yourself with that unless you are in a serious relationship with a woman. You already know that masturbation is not healthy and should be avoided entirely, so focus on that right now.

 

Dude, what are you talking about? Justifies porn? Whether you use porn or not, the effects of masturbation are the same. Figure it out.

 

Here I go again..... Agreeing with SI.

Maybe not on the alcohol in moderation. Alcohol is not the problem in my opinion. My opinion is just that. The problem is the person and the quantity. Thats it. Alcohol is the problem if you have a problem. Stop it!

However... SI is spilot on correct with this...

P. Wrong
M. Wrong
O. Wrong
PM. Wrong
MO. Wrong
PO. Wrong
Last but not least.... PMO. Wrong

There is no singular or any combination of these that is right. I hope that "spells" it out clearly.

Dont try to spell them backwards, not ok in either direction.

Thats what I think.

 

The problem is the concept of “everything in moderation.” It’s a ridiculous concept that people use to justify their poor behaviours. As you can see he tried to make a parallel between drinking alcohol occasionally and MO occasionally. “Moderation” is the key to capitulation.

 

Yes. You are correct. Sorry I misspoke on that. Clearly it's the "everything" part that is the problem. Not the moderation.

Being moderate in habits is a principle that should govern everything we do, but not everything is acceptable to do, even in moderation.

 

you realise your on a NoFap site for addiction . meaning you have an addiction...

Anything in moderation means anything food for example its meant to.be an example of moderate yourself. it does not mean do LITERAL EVERYTHING in moderation like eat baby birds whole and use the dead as parmesan shavings. most people aren't that LITERAL because its.not meant to be taking literally