Going on a 50 day streak

Day 140

Had a job meeting last week with someone who would introduce me and my services last monday. Didn't hear from him, so I became a bit impatient. Just on the moment that I became impatient he sent me a message.

Work-out: day 134
Did my dumbbell workout

Walk: day 40
Took my evening stroll.

Screentime: day 40
Spent 1 hour on Netflix, 2:17 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 40 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 37
Talked with my girl and tried to be open. Very good to view her in a different light.

Meditation: day 130
I meditated for 50 minutes. 3 sessions. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 140
Read in Your Brain On Porn. The writer states that the beginning of a reboot might be difficult or even feel impossible for some. However, it is proven that a period of a month already helps a lot to see your natural vitality back. PMO is unnatural in ways to simulate yourself, unnatural in the activity in both your d and in your brain and sets you up to only get aroused by doing PMO. After some time, your body rebalances. You can do all kinds of things you couldn't do before and you can feel all kinds of things you didn't before.

Sleep: day 7
Slept well. Still feel a bit sleepy.

No carbs: day 7
I ate no carbs for dinner. I ate a lovely dish with potato (which I substituted with parsnip and carrot), bell pepper, onion and oven baked fish. Want to make it again for my gf tonight.

Cold showers: day 40
It becomes doable. And I see that I've been doing it for the last 40 days. I find it impressive.

 

Day 141

Had a good job day yesterday. Was able to do my practice case in the morning with renewed motivation. I always need more time to finish my case, but it was different yesterday. Also decided to cut up my workday in smaller bits and have many breaks. That works so much better than to just work until it's 5 PM.

Met my girl yesterday. She noticed she hasn't felt suspicious of my progress for the past few weeks. She feels more trust and she has less tendency to check my phone and desktop. We were intimate yesterday, but we didn't O. It was so hot and I can't really stand that.

Work-out: day 135
Did my dumbbell workout yesterday. Forgot half of it, as I was with my head somewhere else. Finished it a bit later anyway.

Walk: day 41
Took my evening stroll before bedtime.

Screentime: day 41
Spent 40 minutes on Netflix, 56 minutes on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 6 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 38
She enjoyed my communication, but felt a bit weird because I suddenly stopped taking her along. She found out I already took a shower, went to the grocery store and started cooking in anticipation of her arrival after I picked her home. She appreciates that I take her along.

Meditation: day 131
I meditated for 40 minutes. 3 sessions. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 141
Read in Atomic Habits. The writer speaks of forming a habit and the laws of behavior change. He says that in order to get yourself to do a desire behavior you have to:

Make it obvious
Make it attractive
Make it easy
Make it satisfying

If you want to unlearn a habit (doing PMO for example) you need to:

Make it invisible
Make it unattractive
Make it difficult
Make it unsatisfying

I notice how it works in my life and how I am gradually unlearning my habit to do PMO by exactly this.

Sleep: day 8
Slept well. Feel wide awake and a bit anxious. Don't know exactly why. I have the feeling I'm late.

No carbs: day 8
I perfected my lovely dish from 2 days ago and added chicken instead of fish. I added spinach to the vegetables, but also added garlic and onion powder to the vegetables. My GF liked it a lot and I did too

Cold showers: day 41
Press through. There are always things you can think of to bear the cold water, but it's also just doing it.

 

Day 142

Good and easy job day yesterday. Managed to split my day up into small portions and give myself enough breaks. Found eventually that I had not enough time to dive into something, so it would be good to allow to take my time for some things a but more.

Spoke to my girl yesterday. Conversation was loving.

Work-out: day 136
Set out to go for a run, but it was raining. Moved it to today. Did my dumbbell workout and did a martial art exercise to finish my workout.

Walk: day 42
Took my evening stroll at nine. Longer round than usual. After my round I would go meditate right away.

Screentime: day 42
Spent 1 hour on Netflix, 1:47 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 50 minutes on the Internet (I was making a nice recipe, but I had to check it online)

Communication: day 39
My girl and I had loving communication and joked around today. I'm able to communicate more Nonviolent, as described in the book Nonviolent Communication from Marshall B. Rosenberg. I feel this allows me to be truthful to what I feel, but to also be aware of the needs of the other.

Meditation: day 132
I meditated for 54 minutes. 3 sessions. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 142
I read in Atomic Habits and there are some similarities between what this book says about habit formation and neurochemistry and what Your Brain On Porn says about it. The statement that I'm talking about is: 'What fires together, wires together' Whatever you experience when you build up a habit (be it a 'bad' habit such as doing PMO or a 'good' habit such as doing the laundry) will wire with your experience of performing that action. The writer of Atomic Habits therefore advocates to make your newfound habit a bit more enjoyable. When you set out to fold your laundry but you notice it's quite a drag, consider sitting on the bed folding your laundry. Or consider folding your clothes for exactly two minutes and after 2 minutes you stop. This makes me enthusiastic to try it myself.

Sleep: day 9
Slept well. Feel well rested as I went to bed early yesterday.

No carbs: day 0
I broke my streak. I was grumbling with hunger to decide what I would eat. My plan to go for a run was destroyed by the rain and I decided to make myself a nice burger and fries dinner. It was so good.

Cold showers: day 42
Come to feel more resistance lately, but I don't know why as I'm already doing this for 42 days. I think it will continue to be a bit difficult for a while, and then it becomes easy.

 

Day 143

Met my girl a bit earlier yesterday so we would have more time. We had a great time, but also spoke through some tough things. After we had the difficult talks we were intimate. Not too long, as we still had to cook

Work-out: day 37
Did my scheduled run. Was a bit tough on my knees, but I enjoyed it. Didn't do the dumbbell workout anymore yesterday and haven't done push ups for a while. Not doing the workout was chosen, but not doing push-ups wasn't. Feel like I need to build up my habit of doing push-ups some more.

Walk: day 43
Took a small evening stroll with my girl.

Screentime: day 43
Spent 17 minutes on Netflix, 20 minutes on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 50 minutes on the Internet (this was part 2 of the Earl Grey Loaf recipe of 2 days ago).

Communication: day 40
It's important to not see the other one as an enemy. In the heat of the moment, I can be quite rigid and demanding. The moment I become that is the moment that I think that I need to stop being a pushover. This isn't fun for anybody, because I then think that my girl tries to change my mind in something that I have decided to pursue. This results me in being adamant and unyielding. It's also not fair to my girl.

Meditation: day 133
I meditated for 30 minutes. 2 sessions. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 143
I read in Your Brain On Porn about Sexual Conditioning in Adolescence. P addiction usually starts with ignorance about the effects of P use, and that telling adolescents that p isn't real will do the trick. When we see something, we are unconsciously learning all the time. When viewing P, our brain actually tells us that this is how it should be. Our brain also tells us that the weird fetishes we enjoy are normal, because it arouses us. However, this is not the case at all. When we have a long enough streak without p, our senses turn back to normal.

Sleep: day 10
Slept well and on time, but I had some trouble waking up.

No carbs: day 0
I ate ice cream and it was worth it. Trying to decide how I will structure my habit around eating/not eating carbs and especially sugar.

Cold showers: day 43
Realized that I feel more resistance lately to the cold shower. I think that I will start with a bit warmer water and turn down the heat gradually.

 

Day 144

Spent yesterday reading and cleaning my house. Always had difficulty with cleaning my house thoroughly, but after reading Atomic Habits something clicked. I've been building cleaning habits on other habits and it worked really well.

Work-out: day 37
Did my dumbbell workout. Also scheduled to go out for a mountainbike ride, but I had a meeting in the evening and I couldn't fit it in my head anymore without feeling stressed.

Walk: day 44
I took my evening stroll after coming back from my meeting.

Screentime: day 44
Spent 1 hour on Netflix, 1:22 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 21 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 41
It was a good and lovely day with loving words.

Meditation: day 134
I meditated for 30 minutes. 2 sessions. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 144
"The road to excess leads to the palace of wisdom" - William Blake.

This is the opening quote of a chapter in Your Brain On Porn. This chapter is all about regaining control after finding out you've lost control to PMO. In the reboot that we are going through, we learn self restraint and mindfulness in one of the most primal forces that run through us. Instead of acting on impulse, we create a barrier between PMO and us that allows us to live life more fully.

There is a quote here on a NoFap that I had to think of and I feel it's really applicable : "Am I going to do PMO or am I going to enjoy all else life has to offer?"

Sleep: day 11
Slept a bit later, but I feel well.

No carbs: day 2
No carbs and no sugar yesterday. Some relatively clean meals with meat and veggies.

Cold showers: day 44
The transition from lukewarm water to cold helps me a lot. In this way, I overcome my resistance for cold water and actually make it into a game

 

She does! She supports me in my healing and my mother also knows. For a 33 year old man as myself, that was quite a challenge

 

Day 145

My father and my uncle came around to paint my house. I set out to care for them. Making sure they had enough to drink, eat and possibilities to talk. Challenging at first, but I think I managed. Spoke some moments through with my GF and she said that I can now feel how it is to experience what lack of communication feel like.

Work-out: day 38
Went for a run. I set out to run 1 minute longer each week and yesterday I ran 17 minutes. Also did my dumbbell workout. All is different when my father is around, and I need to watch myself keeping up with my habits.

Walk: day 45
I took my evening stroll at 9 pm.

Screentime: day 45
Spent 1 hour on Netflix, 1:36 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 15 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 42
My girl and I had some difficult conversations Saturday about me not feeling being taken seriously. She says I have an addict brain (which I do) , but every time she says that I feel dismissed in all the other things that I am. This made me withdraw last week and all of this hurt came out last Saturday. And yesterday she asked me whether that was happening again as I was relatively quiet. However, with managing my dad, I did not have the space to be mindful towards her needs.

Meditation: day 135
I meditated for 48 minutes. 3 sessions. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 145
I read in Your Brain On Porn. The writer writes about the effect of P on your viewing habits. When one escalates to other types genres of P, one might start to doubt their sexual orientation, resulting sometimes in HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). Some fapstronauts may become so desperate that this happens that this makes them depressed or worse. The book luckily states that all the sexual preferences melt away after a long enough reboot.

Sleep: day 12
Slept really early and still woke up tired.

No carbs: day 3
Ate relatively clean yesterday. Notice that my meals are not really keto. Since I've blocked Google to limit my screentime, I also can't research anymore how to really eat keto. This sometimes makes going to the supermarket a drag. I am considering starting with a keto meal delivery plan again when I have more money. The delivery service brings you the recipes and ingredients and you can cook it.

Cold showers: day 45
Still going strong

 

Day 146

Painting part 2 ensued. Cared for my father and uncle and made sure that they had enough moments of rest and good food to eat to come through the day. My girl came early yesterday to spend time with my family.

After my parents left, my girl and I were intimate. I was so sensitive that it took me a grand total of 3 minutes to O accidentally. I am usually able to feel it rise, but it came too close to the edge and it went over it very quickly. And I feel hungover from it. This feeling is very recognizable from my PMO days. When I woke up today, I felt like shit and in the past that would always make me O. This time I didn't and I also don't feel any other kind of chaser.

Work-out: day 39
Did my dumbbell workout.

Walk: day 46
My girl and I took an evening stroll

Screentime: day 46
Spent 43 minutes on Netflix, 1:28 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 11 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 43
We had a moment yesterday evening in which I was loitering before going into my evening meditation. I felt overwhelmed from the day and scrolled through our family app for some kind of relief. This is behavior that would be PMO some months ago. She knew that and she told me, but I couldn't tell her what I did as I was seized up. I felt defensive and irritable. We spoke it through, but that meant missing my bedtime.

Meditation: day 136
I meditated for 45 minutes. 3 sessions. First session started in my reading room.

PMO Study: day 146
I finished Atomic Habits and I feel like it should have been thousands of pages longer. The last few chapters were in my experience a bit of a letdown. You get all the tools and templates in the first chapters and the last few chapters more or less say that you shouldn't go overboard and always stay sensitive in your habits.

Sleep: day 0
Went to bed late, as I brought back my girl late and had still things we needed to speak through.

No carbs: day 0
Ate hamburgers and cookies yesterday. The cookies were really bad, as I got a crash and burn sensation which resulted in feeling incredibly bloated.

Cold showers: day 46
No change, still going strong.

 

Day 147

I felt a bit flat yesterday. Like an uneventful day. Spoke with my girl and we had a very good talk about jobs and what I should direct my attention on at the moment. Woke up with MW. And I almost always do. It stayed a few minutes and went away again, but it came back a few minutes later. It was rather persistent, however it didn't give me any urge whatsoever. I think my life is just too full to allow any room to think and feel about p atm.

Work-out: day 40
Did my workout and I continue to see muscle definition. My girl also says that she notices a change with some months ago. This is the power of a good habit.

Walk: day 47
Took a nice evening stroll in the full moon. Luckily no vampires and werewolves around. Only some sporty kids playing basketball.

Screentime: day 47
Spent 41 minutes on Netflix, 1:25 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 25 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 44
We had loving communication and we could be open to one another.

Meditation: day 137
I meditated for 45 minutes. 2 sessions. First session started in my reading room at 7 AM.

PMO Study: day 147
I read about supernormal stimuli in s*xual conditioning. Our brains are wired to think that bigger is better. Not only in sex, but also in life itself. The funny thing is that this biological stimuli is not human-bound. Dutch researcher Nikolaas Tinbergen proved that all animals experience supernormal stimuli and are attracted to it. Beetles were mesmerized by the dimples of brown beer bottles, thinking it was the hottest female ever. Female birds struggled to sit on bigger eggs, leaving their own eggs to wither. As an animal, we are wired to think that bigger is better, but we humans have the choice to succumb to that or not.

Sleep: day 1
Went to bed early as compensation for the day before. Feel rested.

No sugar: day 1
Changed the name of this chapter back to No sugar. I see that that is already difficult enough. Carbs in general come when I have built a streak in not eating sugar. Yesterday went great in not eating sugar, as I filled myself up with walnuts and carrots.

Cold showers: day 47
Going strong!

 

Day 148

Had some good talks with my girl about the addiction, but also about the behavior that this addiction has caused. Unconsciously, I've been using coping mechanisms to deal with my feelings of sadness and lack of emotional communication. These mechanisms can be becoming pleasing (despite of my own needs atm), being silent, becoming suddenly angry and saying yes immediately when someone asks me to help them. Good to see where they come from.

Picked up my girl yesterday and we talked and were intimate. Luckily no PE this time.

Work-out: day 41
Despite of my father being in my home yesterday, I managed to do most of my routine flawlessly. I also did my workout.

Walk: day 48
After I brought my girl back, I took an evening stroll.

Screentime: day 48
Spent 20 minutes on Netflix, 56 minutes on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 9 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 45
We had good talks yesterday. At certain points I felt a bit under pressure, but it's good to see those things happening.

Meditation: day 138
I meditated for 35 minutes. 3 sessions. First session started in my reading room at 7:10 AM.

PMO Study: day 148
The supernormal stimuli I wrote about yesterday, are what p does to us. Because everything is bigger, better, more perfect and flashier, you're getting used to getting an erection from that and not from the real thing anymore. Your partner, who is not a p actress and has probably not nipped/tucked her body as such, is not as 'perfect' as the actresses in the films and seeing her might not cause an erection. As soon as you reboot and stop doing PMO for an extended amount of time, is it possible to regain s*xual stimulation from a single touch and be fully aroused when you are intimate with your partner.

Sleep: day 0
Brought my girl back late.

No sugar: day 2
In the face of all sugary goodness, I didn't succumb. My father and uncle had some cookies, and I had a carrot and some walnuts. Ofcourse they laughed at me, but I explained that I don't want to be dependent on sugar for the moment anymore. They understood it.

Cold showers: day 48
Still strong!

 

Day 149

Had a quiet job day yesterday. Was trying to find my rhythm back, as my father and uncle have been here for 4 days. All the habits that I have built before were tested this week and I see that I need to think about some habits again, as they've left.

Work-out: day 42
Did my dumbbell workout and have made the plan to run on Monday's and Friday's. However, I feel this pressure when going for a run on Friday, as I want to maintain my workday structure, but don't want to destroy my evening routine. I think I either need to do my run in the morning on Friday or do it on Saturday.

Walk: day 49
Started early and had a nice evening stroll.

Screentime: day 49
Spent 45 minutes on Netflix, 1:30 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 8 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 46
Good communication yesterday, as I tried to take her along in my daily activities.

Meditation: day 139
I meditated for 50 minutes. 2 sessions. First session started in my reading room at 7:15 AM.

PMO Study: day 149
P use is a hell of our own making. It wires us for a shot of Dopamine that our brain craves, created by a loophole in our evolutionary equipment. We're not designed to consume endlessly, as our brain developed in a scarce environment. We're designed to get a shot of Dopamine when we have found a berry bush, or a deer or an attractive female, not by attending all-you-can-eat buffets, drinking Big Gulps and watching p all day. Our Dopamine is in hyperdrive and can only go into hypodrive after we're done. And as Andrew Huberman has said, when your Brain makes a lot of Dopamine, your baseline drops lower. This means that you need to feel more to get the same result. As someone with ADD, everything that creates a shot of Dopamine is addictive. I wasn't only addicted to P, but also watching YouTube and eating massive amounts of sugar. I was lucky to have grown up in a safe environment, but I don't know what would have happened to me if I would've been exposed to coke or heroine.

Sleep: day 1
Had an early nighter. Slept like a King.

Healthy eating: day 3
I gave myself a treat by having microwave pizza, a can of sodapop and a small cookie for dessert. Try to eat healthy during weekdays and avoid carbs as much as I can. I sometimes like to cheat and eat a pizza from the grocery store.

Cold showers: day 49
I'm still doing it! Still don't like it, but it trains my willpower.

 

Spot on. I'll probably stop posting here for a while, since the topic is 50 day PMO-free streak and I'm getting further and further away from that, not closer.

An update of sorts: https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?threads/vicious-circle.352496/

 

Day 150

Yesterday was spent with my girl. She made me a killer lunch, we fooled around a bit and I took her on a small trip to a fishing village where the sights are breathtaking and where the tiny houses of the previous fishermen are in stark contrast by the enormous church dead center.

Work-out: day 43
My initial plan to run Friday failed as I couldn't fit multiple plans in my head. However, my run worked out yesterday. I had a good run, but couldn't last for my 17 minutes. After 10 minutes I was beat.

Walk: day 50
One look on my health app confronted me with the fact that I set 239 steps less (on average) than others in my age group. I know from myself that I'm not much of a day walker, so I made the agreement with myself to take a lunch walk every workday at 12. That'll teach my app to say that I walk less than average. Oh, it's also really good for me.

I took my girl along in my evening stroll. Her presence was soothing, but the more she walks, the more she talks. Without being blunt, I asked her to be silent for a moment so I couldn't enjoy the evening songs of the birds and the fluttering of the bats getting their meals in.

Screentime: day 50
Spent 15 minutes on Netflix, 1:01 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 10 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 47
Upon picking up my girl, I remembered that I have bought a questionnaire game and memorized some questions for our walk. It was very interesting getting to know her better and asked her questions like: 'If you could choose one celebrity that you could become friends with, who would you choose?' The answers surprised me and I started to see a whole new level of my gf.

Meditation: day 140
Yesterday time was short. I got 30 minutes in, which is already amazing by itself. I really wouldn't dare to dream this 150 days ago.

PMO Study: day 150
My thoughts roamed through our world of excess. When walking through the fishing village, the restaurants were full and the people released excited chatter that sounded like the chatter of birds in a warm midsummer rain. 'How would it be if we would be all left to our own devices without the internet, all you can eat buffets and unlimited exposure to anything that gratifies us immediately?' I asked myself. We have created this great society where we assume to have the right to love like this, however I know that this life is so privileged that this wasn't even dreamt of 50 years ago. It really hit me yesterday.

Sleep: day 2
Good sleep is the cornerstone of stable emotions. I felt like I could take on the world, and in a way I did. I took on my own world and filled it with good things, good habits and behaviors that help me live the life I want to live.

Healthy eating: day 4
Yesterday was cheat day. Not a cheat day where I ate 50k calories, but where I ate a sandwich, an ice cream and a hamburger. It prompted me to look for the book 'Fiber Fueled' and plan out some fiber rich meals. My plan is to eat more of these meals.the coming time and to reduce the other kind of meals that I'm so accustomed to eat.

Cold showers: day 50
The cold from the shower is reflecting the weather outside. However, the more I withstand it, the better I feel about myself about beating this feeling.

 

Day 151

Yesterday was a day with remarkable blandness. My plan, that I was looking forward to for 2 weeks, was canceled and we jumped in the car to explore the open road. We ended up in a forest with grasslands that reminded my girl and I of the orchards of Tuscany. Nature was coming in. It was clammy outside and a colony of bees was busily buzzing and storing honey for the winter.

Work-out: day 44
Upon arriving home, my girl took a bath. It gave me the time to do my full dumbbell workout. Out of breath, I put myself in my reading chair and opened up a book while my muscles were still pulsing with energy.

Walk: day 51
It apparently only took 1 day to convince my health app that I'm walking more than my age group. I figured that my health is the only indicator that I will use to steer my actions. And that if I feel that I need to walk more, than I will do so. I will still take a lunch walk next to my usual evening stroll.

Screentime: day 51
Spent 15 minutes on Netflix, 32 minutes on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 34 minutes on the Internet.

Communication: day 48
Walking gave us an excellent chance to speak about our inner machinations and nature provided the privacy to become finally honest. We both enjoyed the way we communicated in nature and we could bring that into our relationship.

Meditation: day 141
As I have done for the last month, I started meditating in the morning for 20 minutes. This gave me a headscarf and a much needed feeling of balance throughout the day. Later in the evening, I meditated for 15 minutes and was ready for a good night's sleep.

PMO Study: day 151
Progress is not a given. As I read the stories of some fapstronauts who relapsed, I was reminded again and again that life is a slippery slope for us. There is no rest yet, because we still need to balance our life out.

Sleep: day 3
I slept long, but I didn't sleep well. It was a mix of restlessness and some faint neck pain.

Healthy eating: day 5
It began so well with a protein shake and a healthy breakfast, but my body craved hamburgers. We had a hamburger at the McDonalds, but ate take away Sushi. I am determined to make some meals from Fiber Fueled

Cold showers: day 51
The coolness of the water cools my deepest desires.

 

Day 152

Yesterday was a textbook summer's day. The hot weather didn't allow for anything else than to stay inside and cool off or to go outside and lie in the sun. Anyhow, it is said to continue this whole week.

Work-out: day 45
Doing this workout has long been a habit of mine, but the time is sometimes difficult to pin down. It is settling a bit around 10 AM and the coming days will be used to lightly reinforce myself doing this.

Walk: day 52
It was the first day of my lunch walk. A great success! I feel a bit fitter and I get my steps in. My evening stroll was not forgotten, as I enjoyed the twilight with sound of fluttering bats above my head.

Screentime: day 52
Spent 30 minutes on Netflix, 2:36 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 48 minutes on the Internet (cooking up a lovely recipe)

Communication: day 49
There were points to discuss yesterday as we discussed the behavior that caused the addiction. My Dopamine addicted brain is looking for excitement. Not only from PMO, Social Media and Youtube, but also from Google, NoFap and my tool as well. I started to realize that the tool I use for my work, I now also use to find websites. I'm determined to shut it down, because the money is of good use and I do not want to perpetuate this kind of behavior.

Meditation: day 142
The average amount of time that I sit down and meditate is now 45 minutes. Sometimes more and sometimes less. It gives me a much needed quietness throughout my day.

PMO Study: day 152
Every day is a day to fight. After having this confronting talk with my girl in which she showed me that the behavior I exhibited in my tool is similar to PMO behavior, I see that a slip up is still a reality with this kind of searching brain. Only when the brain can be completely deprived of stimuli, will it find a way out of the PMO mess.

Sleep: day 4
My night was spent tossing and turning as sleep could not be found. A feeling of restlessness was finally replaced by sleepiness and I departed on a safe trip to dreamland.

Healthy eating: day 6
The Fiber Fueled cookbook ignited a genuine interest and determination to do this diet for at least 3 weeks. As the first step of this diet is to observe the current eating pattern, I'm now in that phase until next week Monday. From Monday onwards, I will eat fiber rich FODMAP foods that will heal my gut microbe.

Cold showers: day 52
It can be done! Willpower needs to make rook for determination and cunningness to approach it on a day to day basis.

 

Day 153

A rare feeling of laziness came over me yesterday. As I'm always so meticulously making sure that I do enough work, I yesterday leaned back and did an e-learning.

Met my girl in the evening and we spent time speaking through instances that happened during the day. It brought us ever closer together.

Work-out: day 46
Doing this workout is a continuous practice. I manage to do it at 10:15 and see that it is getting closer to 10. I don't intend to get it right immediately, because I'm not in the business of doing workouts. Every time I intend to do something at a time and I can't manage, it teaches me the valuable lesson that I was consumed by something else. These are moments to look out for.

Walk: day 53
It was beautiful weather for a walk and to see everything hustling and bustling. Where the night is filled with the fluttering of bats, the day is ruled by the fluttering of excited high schoolers on their bikes.

Screentime: day 53
Spent 15 minutes on Netflix, 1:48 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 17 minutes on the Internet

Communication: day 50
Yesterday I canceled the monthly subscription to my research tool as it gave me some form of access to Google. It opened new doors for me, as it asks for more creativity to get things done now. It is definitely worth the trouble and I save 50 euros each month.

Meditation: day 143
My morning meditation has become a moment of peace and tranquility. As I've started the day, my focused mind is the best start I could imagine.

PMO Study: day 153
My granddad always had a saying hanging in the kitchen: 'Live now, as it's always later than you think.'

PMO takes so much life away, and there is infinitely more to discover. Everyone who has managed to be sober for an extended period of time felt the life flowing back in them 'as if magic'. They were filled with self esteem, self respect and other qualities they had lost doing PMO. Being able to fully appreciate life is something worth fighting for.

Sleep: day 5
The night was short and the train to dreamland departed as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Healthy eating: day 7
The day was spent with awareness of what was eaten. Plans were made for next week, what I will eat and how long I intend to do this FODMAP diet for. My girl decided to join me, as she also has some food sensitivity.

Cold showers: day 53
Every day a small step. This is what is learned by taking cold showers for 53 days. It is of no use to be ambitious, because you need to be consistent.

 

It's crazy how this started as a challenge thread, turned into your personal journal, and you just passed the triple version of your goal without even mentioning it. Stay strong @JoeBimbo

 

Day 154

Yesterday stood out for its productivity. Not only my hustling and bustling that got a lot done, but also my reading that allowed for quicker ways to do something.

Work-out: day 47
As the tentacles of life pulled me into the deep end, I wasn't able to do my workout at 10 AM and instead did it later. There were more instances where the habit I made wasn't done at the right time. I took up my drawing board and looked where my bottlenecks were. What led me to deviate from my habits?

Walk: day 54
The world changes when the sun goes down. Where the day is ruled by an impatient pace, the evening is filled by relaxation and tranquility. In both walks I noted the stark contrast.

Screentime: day 54
Spent 15 minutes on Netflix, 1:32 hours on Whatsapp (chatting with my girl) and 17 minutes on the Internet

Communication: day 51
I marvel at how much one moment of kindness can change a whole conversation. That a whole mood can be altered by a few moments of patience and allowing someone to speak. My girl appreciated me taking these steps and to find ways to appreciate her.

Meditation: day 144
The day started with a morning meditation when the whole world is still sleepy.

PMO Study: day 154
The brain fascinates me. Not the meaty lump of goo in terms of physical appearance, but how it has developed to perpetuate an innate desire for survival. All the patterns that form us, are from hundreds of thousands of years ago. And where this pattern was vital for an early human, it is unfit to deal with the world of excess we live in today. We are responsible to protect it by taking care of it.

Sleep: day 6
A long night was had, but I woke up with a headache.

Healthy eating: day 8
With mindful choices the preparation for my diet began.

Cold showers: day 54
Let the cool showers wash over you. Build your willpower, one drop of water at a time