I need help!! i Can't stop, i am so weak.

Relapsing-dude I know that feeling too well...feeling useless and weak afterwards, doubts and urges for days. I know too good how you feel but to be honest, I can only say that life goes on. You relapsed, okay, but you were strong for 76 days! Man that's a lot, how could you doubt in yourself now? I am of the opinion that as long as you don't have 100% the right mindset, you are going to relapse even with the best internet filter. This one loss shows you that there is still a long way before you and you can still become stronger!

The second point is that there are some techniques that work on some people and don't work on others. There is no ticket to success! At the end you have to fight the urges anyway! But cold showers, exercise, meditation and religion (Islam) work best.

You will make it!

 

"i feel triggers comes to me i tried so hard to be away from my laptop and i succeed," Make no mistake, this is a box of evil. Dispose of it and you will have be-rid of your temptation.

 

I use Covenant Eyes on my computer and phone and my wife gets all my reports. She sees everything and knows my triggers so I am very hesitant to disappoint her by going to those places. I have cut off every access that I can short of buying another device secretly or driving to another computer 20km away. Yes there are always ways to view P but if you understand the damage you are doing to your brain and your life it is a great motivator not to. Watch the Great Porn Experiment on Youtube if you havn't yet. Get back on your horse and use your guilt to take some positive steps of prevention.

 

Without any progress? Did you get 76 days or longer streaks back then?

 

You should feel good for the 76 days you did. You now know another trigger, and you are wiser, and stronger than before. You're certainly in a better place than you were 77 days ago! This is do-able – you know that!

Your first mistake was slipping. Your second was continuing for another 7 times. So just stop that.

Stop beating yourself up, get up, and do it all again. It's not rocket science. You just need to do what you did for 77 days straight. You've had your little binge. Move on. Start again. Do one day. Then another, until you get to 76 days. Then do one more.

 

The best wisdom I once heard came from a priest in church as he quoted Jesus in the bible.

"Make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts" (Romans 13:14 NKJV)
"Do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature."

Basically Iēsus taught that we mortal men are not strong enough to fight evil like this. Don't fight it, just run. Then you don't give it a chance for its disease to manifest, and corrupt you.

In real life example, yesterday a very beautiful girl form work stared at me lustfully and licked her entire lips... Definitely tempted but I didnt go talk to her. I even saw her smoking again outside today. As much as I want to know her, I know what would happen. So I have to flee.

Happy to help brother. Good luck.

 

I'm sorry about the relapse Rashad, but try not to view it as in fact a 'relapse'. As others on this post have suggested, you did incredibly well to abstain for 76 days in the first place. And you tried to resist again for 5 days, and unfortunately you were overcome at the end of them. But you are trying, you are putting in the effort, and that's always the most crucial factor. You just haven't found the lucky formula yet, but eventually you will. It is a journey my friend.

For me, the most helpful skill that I learned during my (still on-going) reboot was mindfulness. I'm not sure if you're acquainted with this, though your profile pic suggests you might well be. Whenever I get an urge, I just try to become incredibly mindful of it. I almost treat it like an OCD. I become mindful of the obsession or urge to watch pornography, and then I dismiss it as something that will pass. Or something that I've done before, didn't enjoy, and don't need to do again. I relapsed recently, but only once, due to an incredibly traumatic family event that left me in a hard place. I didn't binge after, and I'm now four days clean again and feeling very good. Yes, I've had urges. But I used mindfulness every time to understand them, as something created by my brain and not by myself. Otherwise I would be up to my elbows in tissues right now. If you are interested in this approach, then download the mobile app Headspace, and read The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. Plenty of info on the web about it too.

Secondly, I'd definitely suggest taking things one day at a time. Forget any long streaks, or getting back to 76 days. In those 76 days, your brain did an incredible amount of healing. Yes, your relapse would have reversed some of that healing, but not all of it. Those 76 days were not for nothing, but they will be if you get back into the habit. Start taking things one day at a time again now, and throw your streak out the window. Don't bother telling yourself you are done with pornography forever as well. Just take things one day at a time, each day telling yourself 'I will not watch pornography today'. Eventually, you will get to the goal through this tactic, combined with mindfulness. You will be free of porn, but you will have done it tactically rather than trying to slog your way to a far-off goal.

Thirdly, I'd recommend recognising your triggers, and replacing the outcome (watching porn) with other things. Go for a walk. Play XBOX. Read a book. Write. Come on here. As long as you are not opening porn websites, then anything goes.

Finally, I just want to say that it is okay to relapse, as bizarre as it sounds. You are human. It is okay to have urges as well. Pornography is something you've had a problem with for years, I am sure, and now you are trying to overcome it. It is natural that you will fail at some point. True success often comes from failure. But in order to achieve that true success, the decision is yours whether or not to take the problem by the scruff of the neck, and learn techniques to deal with it, or continue to let it effect you in such a way.

Best of luck, and keep at it!

 

Nice post from Chelseaman.

I am having a real battle, relapsed two days ago, then relapsed again about 2 hours ago.... reset counter... I think a lot of relapsing has to do with how one is emotionally centred too.... I find when I am depressed or feeling despair, the urge to masturbate is always there, it helps give the dopamine boost one needs to feel better about things.

I am determined to keep going to.

to the original poster, 76 days is awesome brother, you've done super well, some of us DREAM of the day we can reach that sort of figure.... don't feel bad, just reset the counter and attempt again, like I am.

 

As I've struggled on my own to stop PMO for years, I have, at times, successfully removed internet porn from the equation, but maintained a thrice weekly pornography orgasm, which eventually led back to long, pleasure-less sessions on the internet. Once I failed, I reasoned that "Oh well, I've already failed...I may as well 'enjoy' myself", rather than quickly moving past the brief relapse and back to levels of success. The reason to continue this endeavor is to increase the oppurtunities for the pleasure of life, and not just the sexually orientated aspect of it.
76 days IS fantastic. Celebrate your Victory Rashad!, and don't doubt that what you're trying to achieve is possible. If you believe in the power of the individual, then you must believe that every individual path is unique. You WILL eventually find a path that works. If the particular tools that you used to make it to 76 days didn't work to the absolute zenith, CONSCIOUSLY stay positve and think about the Aspects that DID work and Include them in the next attempt. Rashad: You have succeeded more than you have failed!

 

You have to want this as bad as you want to breathe. You can't simply "run" away from this. You are coming from a place of fear...and that fear needs to be confronted. It NOT as easy as taking cold showers, meditation, converting to Islam, and exercising. This is about overcoming your biggest fears and experiencing pain. 76 days is barely a few steps down this path. I relapsed at 136 days. I am still young in my recovery. But I am to a point where masturbation is not an option. I invite pain because I WANT to grow. I've experienced the benefits of feeling pain. Quit taking advice from these 4 day gurus. These people should be inquiring like you instead of giving advice that apparently doesn't work for them. Meditation and exercise are excellent supplements to Nofap, but should not be substituted for the main foundation. Get yourself an AP and start taking responsibility for your recovery. Don't spend the rest of your life looking for the easier, softer way. Hold yourself accountable. Giving up this vice was extremely scary for me. It took me years to get to a point of total surrender. I truly feel that I have been fortunate enough to come out on the other side of this with this community's help. I wish I could give you a crystal ball to see what this path will bring for you. But it just doesn't work like that. If it did, I'd have gotten this sooner.

 

If u are ready to do anything then one of the strictest punishment that you can give yourself is to put some chilly powder on your penis. I had done this only one time and I can remember that I can't sleep the whole night running around the room like a mad. I am a Muslim and I thought at that time if I can't face this small punishment here then how can I face the worst punishment for masturbating and watching porn after death.

 

Unfortunately, I'm not here to give you advices or the key for success. I've been trying to quit for two years, and relapsed lots of times. I know how bad it feels, it's horrible. The only thing I can tell you is not to panic, you got to 76 days! There are people (like me) who are struggling even to get to 30 days. Believe in yourself, you can do even better!

 

Good plan. It's a great strategy. The new habit doesn't even have to give you the same excitement, take exercise or meditation for example… not immediately as 'exciting' but long term rewarding, (even short term mood boosting) and can become a positive habit. Journalling, writing, playing music, drawing, there is an endless list of positive habits to replace the negative ones.