What do men consider "modest swimwear"?

To address your question about modest swimwear, aside from the wetsuit I think a one-piece is your best bet.

It certainly helps to cover the cleavage to ward off unwanted attention, but there are several other points to consider. One is that any flash of skin is going to catch peoples' eyes. Its just how we're wired. And whether or not you've got a toned stomach, big buns, a long pair of legs, or a nice rack, beauty is much more than our physical features. Beauty and attraction have to do more with how you carry yourself and how you present yourself and interact with the world around you; confidence is the sexiest thing a person can have going for them, and a smile is the most attractive thing you can wear, no matter how much skin is showing.

That being said, I would never ever expect anyone to tone down their confidence or happiness for the sake of my chastity or purity of thought. That is my responsibility. Nature is beautiful. People are beautiful. We shouldn't be afraid to express and accentuate that beauty, in the way we speak, walk, or even dress. Unfortunately some people pervert, exploit or distort the inherent beauty of the human body (myself included). But that's no reason to limit beauty in the world.

Your concern and question about modesty are greatly appreciated, but there is a tinge of rape culture rhetoric in what you're asking. What a woman wears or how she conducts herself or where she is sunbathing don't create an atmosphere of perversion or sexualization. As a man with an overactive sex drive, I believe that temptation, my own addiction, and my own sick, selfish sense of entitlement and gratification cause me to stumble, not what women are wearing. And I take full responsibility for how I react to my urges and desires. I have a choice to lustfully stare or to redirect my attention.

Just because a beautiful woman walks by me doesn't give me the right to fantasize about sleeping with her, regardless of what she's wearing. But the unfortunate reality is that most men will fantasize about that woman, regardless of what she's wearing.

 

Yes I agree @justcause47. It is up to us men to control ourselves but a little consideration by women is also wonderful.

 

FWIW...

If I had a daughter, I'd want her to wear a one piece, that was neither too skimpy or too tight.

And, as to men's swim suits (this is where my eye goes), if it's not too form fitting, it doesn't matter, because I'm more interested in his chest, and that's almost always shirtless. A guy wearing a very skimpy suit isn't all that arousing, but it is distracting. I can imagine things that would be, but -- I won't...and anyway, those sorts of "swim suits" in quotes only appear in catalogues, I've never seen them on the beach or at the pool.

 

Here's an oldie-but-goody answer, which might resonate with anyone who lived through the Eighties:

"SWIM-VEAR!":


Hey, this is the "Off-topic" sub-forum, isn't it?!

 

IMO, a one-piece would be fine. I saw this last summer when taking trips to the beach and such. I see this issue from multiple perspectives. Yes, men and women should be responsible for their own actions and not lust after one another. Our battles are our own of course. It is known that men are more attracted to the physical. And yes, for some out there, any ounce of skin is enough to set them off. So, in some ways, yeah you can't do nothin.

However, this doesn't mean "Oh, it's their problem. I can wear whatever I want". Mm-mm, see, that's not considerate of others. There comes a time when the line has to be drawn between modesty and freedom. And even though it may be a beach and it could be blazin, I'm sure a one-piece is decent compared to other women who go all out with two pieces and other totally scandalous attire. The same for men as well. Talk above was about speedos. Now, lol, men don't wear those anymore (far as I know), but men should of course be considerate of women there too. It's important to have mutual respect for each other. Unfortunately, this isn't as common in western society. The word "freedom" gets thrown around a bit much as an excuse to say "I can do whatever - it's a free country".

Complicated issue, but simplistically I'm saying that yes, be modest. I'm sure there are places that sell comfortable and modest attire. Sadly, not too many women these days care for that. But that's my $2.50 on this issue.

 

So what did you decide on?

 

Honestly, you should pick up whatever you want to wear. Why do you need to care for what other guys think of you? If they're struggling with an addiction, and wank off to you.. their fault. Take it as appreciation that you are attractive individual.

Wear whatever you want. Peace.

 

I understand what you mean, sorry that I came off this way. But, I mean... it would just be ridiculous if people had to police themselves or validates themselves to other people's expectation, and their lack of control of certain stuff that shouldn't even be bothering you at all anyway.

And, it is just your choice and opinion. If you want to wear something "modest", that's fine. But if you want to wear something "skimpy", that's also fine.

Plus, I also think like you, "your problem is my problem". But c'mon now.

 

Well, not exactly like you. But, hey.. your choice and yes, I do agree that it is disrespectful to people around. But, I can't just tell them "Bitch, you are wearing a skimpy ass suit. Go back and get something respectable", and besides if it makes that person wearing happy, who I am to bitch around? Quite frankly, they wouldn't know or even care about their suit. They would have the same exact stuff I said above. You know what I mean?

And yes, other people's problems are my problems too. I want everyone to reach to their goal and success. I would be more than willing and glad to help other people in their problem. And everyone should be comfortable in themselves.

 

Just wanted to know what you guys thought about modesty in general. One other example is the changing room. I notice a lot of younger guys now taking a lot of trouble to cover themselves up while changing - whereas many of the older guys wander around naked. Mad me think about the need for modesty in general - not just on the beach.

 

Wear whatever you want to wear.
If people can't handle looking at legs or stomach or whatever it's 100% their problem and you shouldn't have to compromise on your personal preference or comfort in what you wear. Personally if they are that bad that they can't handle being at the beach around women in swimwear they should go to a few counselling sessions first before entering a public area like the beach (IMHO)

 

Hi there,

Pretty much all swimwear today has something that is "immodest" unless you want to wear a wet-suit, which some would consider immodest anyway do to its tight fit. That being said, I think one thing to keep in mind is what your goal is with wearing it. Are you looking to cause men or women to lust after you? I know someone who has been looking for one recently, and she is very largely "gifted" in the lady department. She doesn't want to wear bikini's however, but she still wants to feel cute. For her, 2 pieces are okay, but she doesn't want anything that is super busty. So she looks for tankini's or swim dresses, one piece swim suits, and high neckline swim suits. The best question to ask is "why do I want to wear this suit?" Is it because you want to feel sexy for your husband? Or are you looking to just cause other men to stumble? Perhaps you have smaller or larger girls, those all play apart in what is "modest."