I got some great things going for me in life, and I sit here, wasting my energy on whether I should ruin everything by acting out.
Almost relapsed today. Fuckin' car washes. Close call. Good gosh. Really feeling the urges. Will exercise and take cold shower.
Would have acted on impulse and masturbated immediately any other time. Especially in a rare moment like this. Grateful for progress, just am feeling wound up. Could have acted out pretty easily.
Thanks @Franks19990 , barely managed to, and I hate to say it, but would not have if she was more attractive. That's the damn truth. It's why I'm abstaining from P and M, hoping to minimize these other behaviors I don't want part in.
Also I took a Xanax last night, shits been super stressful lately. And I have not had time to take care of myself like I should be I'm not a drug user, but very occasionally I take one though I through through them all away today except part of 1 bar.
Haven't actively sought after P, but a few instances where images have popped up just today from random sites.
I've been wanting to chat with women lately, and even looked up usernames. Does anyone else ever struggle with this? I'm technically single, so I sometimes I just crave that attention. Looking around for singles seeking men, and so forth. Sometimes bringing me to areas that I really need to extra cautious around.
Sometimes tempted with the massage parlors, but don't think I would go back to one that are simply known for happy ending massages.
And the attractive neighbor was outside. Fortunately, I didn't act out. But I may have if I had a better view. Gosh, it's scary to see the addict. How seconds away one could easily give in to the thing they know is so toxic and destructive.
This stuff destroyed every part of me. And I'm slowly becoming the man I'm meant to be. By the grace of God, and the wonderful resources.
Hi. I just want to say your posts about your voyeur/creepshot addiction have motivated me to also stop looking at that type of content content. Thanks.
Spring is here, but also realizing there have been many temptations in my surroundings. Grateful to recognize that, and for all of you!
It hasn't been a good day. I have not felt myself. But I'm doing the best I can, and won't act out again.
Had a situation where I engaged in 'M' virtually with a girl I know (virtually). No porn involved, and she was fully dressed.
I think a problem people have when they hit a pot hole, is it can force them to fully immerse themselves deeper within their habit. That used to be me. But we must realize how far we've come. And see the progress, see our new lives, and not put so much emphasis on just, "NoFap" but instead, a new lifestyle pouring into other important aspects of our lives such as our health and well being. And of course community!
So I will not allow this situation to hinder how far I've come, and you shouldn't either if you've had a setback. Learn, move on. Don't pay much attention to the counter. Press forward! And learn from your mistakes.
I'm sorry to read about your restart, Ryan. But I'm pleased to read your determination to continue. You did incredible, you will do just as incredible, I know. I wish you all the best!
I've noticed much more contentment being on my own lately versus constantly trying to seek out women and their approval.
Don't get me wrong, I love approval. Who doesn't? I just feel more grounded as the man I am, and it's something I haven't quite experienced like this before.
There's a girl I've been seeing for the past month, and she told me she still has feelings for her old boyfriend. So I took it as rejection. Though she did say things could still work out for us potentially one day, just not now when she still has feelings. I'm not going to wait around. It is what it is.
At least she’s being honest with you, dude. Seems like she doesn’t want to take the chance of hurting you or playing rebound. That’s the kind of woman worth waiting around for. Just a thought...
Tomorrow marks 90 days PMO free. Some strong urges lately, but grateful and need to continue to to heal and take care of myself. #newlife
Great achievement friend. I know its a tough journey but it's really worth it. Enjoy your new life . Like me I believe damaged your life as well but I believe you can repair it. This battle is for your survival always remember now you have the strength to fight this enemy
But it doesn't mean your enemy is weaker now so always be cautious and avoid triggers as much as possible. Best of luck. I wish you an awesome future
You are spot on. I have relapsed so many times over the years and many times it was when I became too overconfident and thinking it was no longer a problem. Also not maintaining healthy community in my life, and slowly giving into the "small" pleasures of PMO that lead to me end up acting out. All the best to you as well, @JittoDavid. We can do this.
What you said is an important point. I now realise I can go more days without porn if I don't worry about porn and thus preventing porn related thoughts. Its like I don't care when my mind pop up with porn
Thoughts.i hope you are doing well. I wish you good luck in this journey. And we are always here for giving you and all mental support that you require to fight this journey Good luck again
Urges are so bad lately. Left one of my jobs that really helped me stay clean. Had an intense dream last night that's very tempting as well.
Yeah I’m starting to have some dreams as well. We gotta stay tough though. No one is gonna do it for us.