Roady

-> She reacted defensive "I don't mean anything with my questions". Most people don't even TRY to understand what I say :(

I helped a neighbor quite a lot. Everytime I see her, she starts talking about her problems. I tried to tell her I don't like that ->

The problem I experience is I don't feel any connection with anybody.

Yesterday was kinda crazy busy, made a lot of money, but forced myself over all the boundaries I have :(

Since I blocked myself from P, the Friday evenings went oke. I'm going again through some sadness and I know I have to embrace it.

Busy day, everything went well. Still Felt blocked :( I think I need to stay away from nofap more...

Thanks for the support roady :)

-> now I'm open again. Let's see if my self made protection box will do its work. Thanks for all the support here friends. Have a good day.

The battle is won again by making confessions. Sometimes it feels better to be bound, because then I can't fall again. ->

Tonight the battle became worst. I decided to send an email to a friend I trust, confessing some things. Then the peace came back. ->

-> that brought back the good mood. Cooked a nice meal. Cycled for an hour feeling shame. Sat down in silence while writing down. Good night

Quiet day. Did some work, read a book that brought me to tears. Slept a while. Was really grumpy. Then started whistling all kind of songs->

Humbling myself was/is the way to get rid of my many fetishes.

I battled with my gender dysphoria in the past. I don't believe it's possible keep that life style *and* being humble.

Reason that using P is making you unhappy is because it creates pride in the spirit. That's because using P is against Gods rules of love.

There is just one way to happiness ("luck"): when you are able to humble yourself. More humility means more happiness.

This morning I found myself able to humble myself a bit more. Porn is creating pride, and pride means unhealthiness.

And after all, my little protection system let me have a psub-free week :)

Chill day. Slept some more, played an escape game (really like them) went to a friend, took the bike in stead of the car

Sometimes I behave like a 10 years old spoiled dude :(