“The best pace is a suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die.”

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by William, Mar 18, 2014.

  1. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Gentlemen, today I am 8 months clean. I always mark the 18th day of the month. In four months I will be one year clean. No porn, no PMO, no MO. It can be done, if I can do it you can do it.

    The title of this thread is a quote by a hero of mine, Steve Prefontaine. You probably have never heard of Steve Prefontaine, but he was an American runner who died in a car crash in 1975, long before many of us here were even born. His philosophy of life was to put it all on the line, to leave it all on the track, to cross the line with no gas in the tank because it's all been burnt up in the race. Yes, I am a runner, and I admire his philosophy.

    For those of you quitting porn, let me say there is no middle ground. You have to absolutely quit it, get it out of your head out of your life. You have to quit it at a suicide pace; it has to go. It's going to hurt, but if you want to win this race, you have to leave it on the track. You cannot limp toward the finish line, you have to sprint it, even if it feels like it will kill you. It will not kill you, but it will hurt. If you are not willing to feel that pain, don't even bother starting the race.

    I want to see each and everyone of you here clean. Quit thinking about starting the race, and start it.

    Go!
     
  2. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Great post William and congrats on reaching 8 months! Thanks for being such an inspiration and keep going!;)
     
  3. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Brother Mark, it means a lot coming from you because I know you know how to run this race.

    Peace.
     
  4. Thackeray

    Thackeray Fapstronaut

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    Great motivation piece that. Thank you. I really want to give this my all. Slip after slip, I get discouraged but I'm going to carry on with nofap. The run is on!
     
  5. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hi Thackeray, if you are slipping daily it is almost certainly because you are feeding your triggers. You will never quit PMO while keeping porn in your life. It is impossible. Why? Porn is the button we push to get a dopamine fix and dopamine is the best brain chemical in the world. One does not have to O to get it or MO, just seeing porn or having overly sexual thoughts releases the drug. You need to spend about 30 days deliberately avoiding hypersexual thoughts. Find ways to distract yourself, plan on it now, take a moment and tell yourself how you plan on distracting yourself when you have those thoughts, and when you have them, do what you have planned on doing to distract yourself. I don't want to see any more "hours" on your counter, I want to see days and weeks.

    Good luck on your journey.
     
  6. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    Great post, as usual.

    I was a wrestler in high school, so that philosophy of "leaving it all on the mat" is one I'm familiar with. The middle ground you mention was something I was struggling for a week and a half of this journey, but a few days ago was when I stepped up to the starting line. I had a weak moment, a realization, and a newfound motivation. I won't make the mistake of going into middle ground again, believe me.

    Just a side question, have you been going hard mode all this time?
     
  7. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hi seth, thanks for the kind words. To answer your question, no, not as it is defined here, which is no sexual release at all. I have a wife, which is why I began nofap; I had so completely mucked up my brain's reward center with porn that I could not reach O with her, which is a fairly common type of sexual dysfunction for porn addicts. But she is my release now and the sex got better than once I completely quit porn, PMO and MO.

    Thanks for the post.

    Peace.
     
  8. Thackeray

    Thackeray Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, William. Best I've done is 11 days and all was fine until those familiar old ways of thinking crept in and I ended up on my current cycle of going a few days without then masturbating to porn again. I'll take your advice. Porn has to go. I don't possess any at all, the problem is the video and image sites and my ability to bypass my blocker using temporary passwords. Porn does not make happy. I need to realize that and move on. I hate the idea of living like it's 'Groundhog Day', same shit over and over, most of which is habit and addiction. I'm seeking the change. My many fails, slips, whatever you call 'em are leading me to try for starters the 30 days.
     
  9. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hi Thackery, remember, High Speed Internet Porn is interpreted as hypersex by our brain's reward center resulting in hyper release of dopamine. You have to get your dopamine levels back down, and that means as little sexual thoughts as possible for at least 30 days. Even if you are not using porn, if you are remembering it or imagining it, you are still pushing the button that gives a dopamine fix, and that is a problem.

    Good luck on your journey.
     
  10. ethan

    ethan Fapstronaut

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    Hi man
    from now on you are my hero, I've been a swimming champ when I was a teenager, and I love that Athlete sprit that's what I need right now, I need to feel that race, I need to feel that my coach is calling me to go faster and to focus . I Just started to know about this community and quit 8 days ago , you guys are so strong and I feel happy to see there are many people like me who are fighting with their instinct , we are not animals we have a brain we have can think , and we distinguish wrong from right . Let's do this
     
  11. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hi ethan, so true. Thanks for posting.
     
  12. supergolum

    supergolum Fapstronaut

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    Great post William (as usual)! I just subscribed on the forum but I've been reading around for a few months and your post are always spot on! You say you want to see all of us get clean, I say if a lot of us ever get clean it will be partly because of the people like you who keep encouraging us on our journey.

    Thanks and good job on the 8 months!
     
  13. 011214

    011214 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks again for your insights and your clarity. I know your words have meant a lot to a lot of people. All the best as you continue the journey.
     
  14. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hi supergolum and makuse, thanks for the encouragement and good luck on your journeys. Remember, take time to understand the problem, that porn actually changes brain pathways, and you will likely succeed. Also, don't quit passively, quit aggressively, get angry at porn, throw it out, refuse it, defriend it, excommunicate it, learn to hate it more than you love it, if that is what you have to do.

    Peace.
     
  15. Cojax

    Cojax Fapstronaut

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    Hi William! Very inspirational post!

    I have made it 1 month without porn, but I have to say my mind still thinks in very sexual ways, and still imagines porn from time to time, and I have not really made an effort to keep my mind clean. I will take your word for it that staying away from sexual thoughts to for at least 30 days is the way to take this fucker down, I will give it my best! Thank you!
     
  16. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hi nofaphoffy, I like the way you think, damn straight, take that fucker down. The simple reality is that we release normal dopamine levels to normal sexual thoughts. Porn is like sex on steroids, that is it creates hypersexual thoughts that create hyper dopamine releases. Without a dopamine release to reward watching porn, we would find it boring. Bringing our dopamine soaked brains back to normal requires us to lower our dopamine levels, meaning cutting out porn completely but also cutting way back on those porn inducted sexually gratuitious thoughts that are essentially just remembering, replying, imagining, or fantasizing about hypersexual situations. Cut that out and your dopamine levels will drop.

    Thanks for posting.

    Peace.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2014
  17. William

    William Fapstronaut

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    Hello Gentlemen, you need to get out of the box you are in, out from in front of the screen you are sitting in front of, and get out in the world. Go find someplace where people are, just normal, average, even boring, people, and be there. I would love to say to you "get off the sideline and get in the game" but most of us are not even on the sideline, we are at home playing an XBox version of the game we really ought to be out playing. It does not matter if you fail at the game. What matters is you played, you fought, you suffered, you sweat, and if you get out and play the game of life I promise you will find victory in the playing; that you played, even if you do not win, will be enough. You will not win every race, and I assure you you will lose some, but the victory is that when the runners were called to the starting line, you stepped up and were prepared to run it.

    My favorite poet is Charles Bukowski. He is not a great poet, and much of his poetry would be and is deemed ugly, even anti social. Even perverse. Bukowski was not afraid to see the ugliness of humanity, but also he was not afraid to see the beauty of the species. He understood that life is a struggle, but that beauty is to be found in the struggle. Don't be afraid of the struggle, don't be afraid to fail. All of us fail, that is part of life, the important thing is that you live it.

    I want everyone who reads this to get clean. Go out, live life, love someone. Go "All the Way". Be tested, and be glad to be tested. If you are going to try, go all the way, there is no other feeling like that. Do it. All the way.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6_QUhUPrF4

    Peace.
     
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2014
  18. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    "You will ride life straight to perfect laughter"...love it!!;)
     
  19. Rafa

    Rafa Fapstronaut

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    Grats on the awesome achievement! I feel so much better and im not even 2 months without PMO. Good luck to all of us on our journeys and God bless!
     
  20. SkyNet

    SkyNet Fapstronaut

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    Hoorah William. The pain is our mind and body rebooting.

    Press on regardless,

    SkyNet
     

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