131 days free of PMO and sex addiction

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Deleted Account, Jul 25, 2017.

  1. Hi all, I am a 23 year old men, living in The Netherlands. My english is not the best, but i will post anyway.I found NoFap in February 2016 and tried to recover from my addictions. Today i am 131 days free of PMO and my other sex addictions. I am doing Hardmode.

    I've been a pornography user for a long time, it first started when I was 12 years old.

    Many people say i'm looking good, but i've never had a girlfriend, because I was always shy and struggling to communicate with girls (social anxiety).

    On my 16th I started visiting prostitutes. In the Netherlands and in neighboring Germany and Belgium you have a lot of window brothels and prostitution is easily available. Since then I have become addicted to it. I visited every month prostitutes and have lost a lot of money to it. I'm also trying to stop this addiction. Visiting prostitutes I found much easier than to communicate with normal girls and to enter into a relationship.

    Since last year, i became addicted to sexparty's (swingers clubs, orgies, gangbangs). Since then i was more interested in sexparty's then normal girls, because i could go with a lot of women one a day.

    Since March this year, i am visiting a therapist for my sex addiction.
    My therapist has said that I have to do 1 year of hard mode to recover well.
    I also go every week to Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings, were i meet other people that are also sex addicts and try to recover.

    I lost my motivation over the years and my zest for life. Often I felt sad and anxious. Also, I often feel lonely.

    Since the beginning of my therapy, i also still suffer from withdrawel symptoms (flatline).
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Suicidal thoughts
    • Flashbacks of PMO (getting lesser)
    • Negative thoughts
    But i also have seen benefits:
    • More relaxed
    • More confidence
    • Signals of girls (but i am still scared to approach them)
    • Posture is better
    • Women are more beautiful now
    • I don't want to PMO (easier to resist)
    Since stopping, it's with ups and downs, but I did not give up. I am still going.
    I also have to thank my therapist and SAA meetings, that i am clean now for 131 days.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 25, 2017
  2. What have changed and what i do:
    • Listen every day to Motivational video on YouTube
    • I listen to Binaural beats meditation
    • Cold shower every day
    • Read books
    • Go to gym (3 times a week)
    • Go to SAA meetings and meetings by my Rehab clinic
    • Stopped watching news (news is mostly negative)
    • Stopped drinking Soda
    I have installed K9 Web Protection on my computer and OpenDNS on my router, so i also can't check on my smartphone. That is very helpful.

    I will also post here
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 25, 2017
  3. ManO'War

    ManO'War Fapstronaut

    Inspirational. Congrats on 131.
  4. Hey a fellow SA- buddy.

    The meetings are also what did the trick for me.

    Zeer trots op je dat je al meer dan 100 dage vrij ben..

    Vraagje: Aan welke stappen zit je in het programma?
  5. NotSoAverageJoe

    NotSoAverageJoe Fapstronaut

    131 days still depressed and suicidal? Dude go talk to girls, try to actually have interactions with women. You really think another 8 months of zero pmo will solve your mental health issues?

    Dam I'd say it'll make it worse
  6. @Larry: Hey Fellow, Ik ga elke week naar de meetings, maar ben nog niet begonnen met de stappen.
    Ik volg nu een ambulant herstelprogramma met een psycholoog en dat is al intensief.

    It goes with up's and downs. Like this week, i am very happy again.
    An addiction that began when i was 12 years old and lasted for 11 years, can not be solved in a few months..
    I have read the book 'Your brain on porn', where it also says:
    "Those who grew up with porn, need more time to recover".

    I also recommend you to read the book.

    I am talking a lot with my psychologist, who knows a lot about sex addiction.

    First, you have to know how the depression and suicidal thoughts comes..
    In my case, the depression is because a lot of automatic negative thoughts and no vision for the future.
    But now, i have a vision for my future where i can work for.

    We also learn in the meetings, you have to trust yourself first and not come dependant on women for your own happiness and self-confidence.

    Happiness and self-confidence comes from within and i'm working on it now.
    If you find happiness and self-confidence in you, you can give yourself fully to somebody and make a good relationship.

    For me, it helps a lot if i go to the meetings, talk and learn from anything.
  7. Smartboyj

    Smartboyj Fapstronaut


    Hey man … thank you for sharing your story!!

    Truly inspirational , you have had some bad addictions in your life and I can really associate with them.

    But you have fought hard to get where you are , you should be very proud of yourself … You are a warrior!!!!!

    I hope you keep fighting and moving forward and find all the happiness that you want in your life…

    I hope to be where you are soon.

    Thanks again.
  8. nofepper

    nofepper Fapstronaut

  9. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

  10. Strength And Light

    Strength And Light Fapstronaut

    Thanks for sharing your story. I'm proud of you and excited for your recovery!
    vyndaloo likes this.
  11. Since this week, my days are going better.
    I am more happy. I am focusing on the positive.

    First, i always was thinking negative about myself.
    But my therapist, gave me a assignment, to write every day positive things about myself.
    So it will going to the unconscious mind. Because, you will be what you think.
    Also stopping with reading news helped me. Because news is always negative, so i will think automatic negative about the world. I also think negatively about women and i want to change that.

    I also have found, that i am Internet addict. I spend too much time on my smartphone, Youtube video's, reading too much information (forums etc.).

    That's also one of the reasons why I'm always living in myself, feeling absent and too much daydreaming, which I'm not living in reality.

    Reflection of yesterday:
    + Did yoga lesson for 1 hour, with a group (yoga is very helpful)
    + Relaxed
    + Did not sleep in the afternoon (not good for depression)
    - Did fantasize about swingersclub and asking myself, what do i miss there
    - Watched facebook (profile of my yoga instructor)

    Reflection of today:
    + Relaxed
    + Inner peace
    + Went to meeting by my rehab clinic.

Share This Page