2 weeks clean. Thoughts that life is crap anyway. Might as well relapse?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Feb 15, 2020.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

    To my suprise I am actually finding it relativey easy to stay off porn and artificual sexual stimulation. But I feel extremely bored and have a low mood.

    I have been getting thoughts recently that life is crap anyway, and I might as well relapse?

    Something I have noticed is I don't really enjoy doing anything. I am not excited to go out and do anything. I seem to find everything dull and boring.

    So even though I am finding it relatively easy to stay off porn and artificual sexual stimulation, the thoughts I seem to be getting are well life sucks anyway, might as well just PMO?

    The thing is if I went out and done something and felt good from it and enjoyed it then this would be fine. But like I said I don't seem to enjoy anything, and find everything very dull and boring.

    Life at the moment seems very dull and boring, and my mood is more low than usual.
  2. Overforme

    Overforme Fapstronaut

    You need an SSRI. You have low brain serotonin levels. Go to a psych dr. for evaluation. This is depression.
    Ghost79 likes this.
  3. Depression, if it goes on for weeks, then its chronic. Probably the whole reason you drink and abuse.

    Also check your vitamind d levels

  4. The feelings that your experiencing is actually completely normal. Your brain is rewiring itself. After fludding your brain with so much dopimine and other "feel good " chemicals because of your porn use your brain basically takes time to produce these feel good hormones its self. Thus is a very difficult time in on your path but if you can stick it out you'll find joy and happiness in the small things in life and be greatfull again.
  5. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    I didn't see anything in the OP about drink?
    You might currently be in a so-called flatline.
    This is correct. And it goes a lot further.

    Addictions are created for a reason. People do addictions to numb themselves rather than learning how to deal with emotions. When you come off the addiction, there is a fairly long period of ups and downs (you're currently in a down) while your brain resets itself, and you start to feel the feelings that you have been numbing for so long.

    What's going to happen in the next few weeks is a bit of a roller coaster ride.

    When you are down, you will be bored — or worse. After all, instead of feeling your feelings, learning to deal with your negative emotions, and, most importantly, discovering what you are really passionate about in life, you've just been boringly numbing yourself with PMO. So, now, you have to do a catch-up, learning to deal with your emotions. That can be scary, and you will be tempted to go back to PMO. Don't. It will merely continue to delay your maturation and the gaining of wisdom. Work through those emotions — non-judgementally.

    When you are up, your brain has discovered a new positivity, and you feel those eager feelings that you would feel if you were chasing your passion. Remember how that feels, so that you can be motivated to discover your passion (or maybe you already know what it is?).

    Once you know your passion, you can then start to chase it. Chasing your passion is great fun! Hugely better than sitting alone fucking your hand to some idiotic porn.

  6. Well said my friend I couldn't agree more.
  7. 31Jan2020

    31Jan2020 Fapstronaut

    Someone mentioned :
    Rule of thumb finish 90 days then compare with Day 1

    I’ve been deep in PMO 8 years , and I lost the will to live , nothing gave me pleasure , people were irritating and i couldn’t do normal functions and concnetration was only for 10 min max before I would het tired
    I got so depressed i would stay in bed for hours and stay at home for days not going to Uni

    Day 16 in feel better than the Hell I led myself into
    thespo likes this.
  8. Raging Wife

    Raging Wife Fapstronaut

    You will feel this until you fill your day with new activities. My husband was the same, he just keeps busy, even now he keeps busy most of the time because it makes him feel good, worth while. Even the mundane stuff he enjoys now, he has input into our lives, our kids and family home, he cleans his shed up and we go out more, he even suggests going out now 84 days (12 weeks P-free) which he would have never done before.

    He had social anxiety very bad towards the start of this streak. So bad he went to doctors for SSRI pills as he thought he needed them. He hates feeling weak. He took 1 days and chucked the rest in the bin, he said I'm not weak in strong, I can fight this, he stayed true to himself and has done great.

    Everytime you feel weak, get up, go out, call a friend or family memeber, clean, cook, do anything that will take your mind off it till the feeling passes. You start to form new patterns of behaviour and it will feel good eventually. He has had lots of ups and downs. Bad dreams, night sweats, shaking, but he also says he has my smell back which he lost there for a while. I have a smell to me apparently lol
    He has one too which I love to hug into when he finishes work it's at its strongest, I love nothing more than hugging him for a cheeky sniff at the end of a long day, it relaxes me somehow?!

    You keep strong and dont give I'm to your what's the point in carrying on thoughts. That is your addicted brain playing tricks on you. The point is you dont want to be a weak addict anymore, you want to be strong and in control.
  9. Fenix Rising

    Fenix Rising Fapstronaut

    Coming from someone who has been fighting with chronic anxiety and depression my whole adult life, let me say that the way you think right now will bring you only misery. Don't get me wrong, I'm the last one who's here to judge you, because I've experienced what you're experiencing now for 20 long years. Threatment resistent depression shrinks said. Indulging in compulsive PMOing, drinking, gaming, adrenaline sports just to feel something. This road leads to self-destruction. You're 29 yo now, don't let that number become 39 like in my case before you "wake up" into completely ruined life. "Self-medicating" depression with pmo or other addictions IS NOT the solution. I'm gonna tell you what helped me get out of the situation you're in right now. Take it with a grain of salt as everyone is different, but you might still find some of it useful for your recovery:

    1. Read dr. Stephen S. Ilardi: The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs
    2. Make a journal, write his 6 steps down and follow the program on daily basis for at least 6 months (do and tick the steps off the list every day)
    3. You have to find a way to transform your mindset from a half glass empty to a half glass full kind of guy.
    "Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change." - Wayne Dyer
    "When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be." - Lao Tzu
    "Anyone looking for goal will remain empty when it will be reached, but whoever finds a way, will always carry the goal inside." Nejc Zaplotnik

    I can't tell you how to achieve 3rd point, as everyone has to find his own way. Let me just say that no pill can help you fill the void inside you. What has helped me was:
    1. meditation/prayer
    2. learning to accept and like myself the way I am, with all my strengths and weaknesses
    3. being grateful for simply being alive and stop taking anything for granted (even having roof over your head, food and drinkable water is a great privilege nowdays)
    4. practicing kindness or at least to do no harm to myself and others.
    5. finding goals I'd like to achieve and enjoy walking the paths leading to goals' completions, BUT try not to get attached to the outcomes.
    6. stopped worrying about the things that are outside my control. The only 2 things that we can have control over are our own thoughts and actions. Everything else is outside of our control. I used to work in the field where my job was to make predictions and risk assessments of future food/water security and the findings have costed me many restless/sleepless nights. I finally realized that I do myself only harm by worrying about the outcome of events outside of my control.
    7. stopped taking life too seriously and try to enjoy the moment. The end result of life is always the same, death, so why so much worry?

    Achieving these things is a never ending story but it has changed the way I think over time and still does. I'm not saying life has become a joyride because of it, but it has helped me climb out of depression/anxiety and addiction rabbit hole.
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
  10. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

    I find @Fenix Rising post very good, wanted to add:
    Even let's imagine that life is a crap, no arguing with this, but PMO will make it even worse (same with any drug/addiction, it just TEMPORARY numbs your negative feelings and gives you dopamine) and on the contrary Nofap gives you energy to live this crap life, accept this crap life (no escapism), energy which can be used to change this crap life for good even a little. Your call.

    I think your mind is playing tricks on you to get dopamine high and I think you are starting to forget what a crappy PMO-life it is and to forget post-PMO crappy feelings.
    Fenix Rising likes this.
  11. He does not have to, we know Skate, he has been here long enough.

    If someone is depressed, abuse makes them feel better which is why they do it.
    NoFap takes away that relief and so you propose he should suffer without any relief - that will surely work.
    He needs to deal with his depression and becomes enraged in real life community of some kind, find purpose in life, then that will motivate him to properly solve his issues.
    People do not solve problems only if they have no reason to solve them.
    As soon as there is personal and meaningful reason to change - amazing and impossible things can be done.
    If there is a will - there is a way.
    skaterdrew and Mordobarn like this.
  12. Metis07

    Metis07 Fapstronaut

    Where you found it in my post I don't know.
    We propose the same thing
  13. j0rdi3

    j0rdi3 Fapstronaut

    Horrible. Horrible. Horrible advice. There's no evidence to assume what he's going through isn't a temporary problem and what you're proposing is a very drastic measure that chances are he doesn't even need... shame
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
    Castielle likes this.
  14. j0rdi3

    j0rdi3 Fapstronaut

    OP. You don't need an SSRI. That's ludicrous.. Doctor told me the exact same thing and I felt the same way you do now. What did I do? I toughed it out.... I exercised and eventually it passed. What's happening to you now is like "trial by fire". You're going through a hard spot (yes boredom and apathy can be painful too) and you need to make it to tomorrow, then the next day and the next day. It takes a while to undo all the damage PMO causes and reinitialize your dopamine reward system... Trust me. you'll be fine. in the meantime find a way to make it work.
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2020
    AntiqueRevolverGuy likes this.
  15. j0rdi3

    j0rdi3 Fapstronaut

    How much would you like to bet that "Overforme" takes SSRIs himself? I'd bet a lot on it. Everybody on this forum would like for you to solve your problem the way they have, and who can blame them. It's what they know. The truth is that you have to solve your problem your way. You have to solve it in the manner that is best for you. REAL TALK. Do you want to go on feeling weak and pathetic? Think back to why you started this journey. I have failed 1000 times at doing nofap... BUT I'VE TRIED 1001 times. It just takes one time. Successes grow and with each consequtive try you learn more about yourself (if you're being honest) and you increase the likelihood of success. Fuck porn. It's waste. it's the sum of the slimy production of all those sad men and women who might never understand what true intimacy with an honest (and hopefully attractive) person feels like. It's the cancer that's keeping you down, and it's time you assumed the role of oncologist in your life to deal with this cancer.

    Know theyself, and then be true to thyself
  16. Tail7

    Tail7 Fapstronaut

    I believe that I am at the same point right now. I'm 24 days in and I've been slowly slipping into an apathetic rut. Not that I could call myself productive before starting (esp since porn's a giant timewaster), but today it's probably peaking and I feel like I could do more just a few days ago and now all I'm effectively doing is wasting time on the net. Engaging in my planned activities feels boring and my focus flies away pretty fast.
  17. thespo

    thespo Fapstronaut

    Fuck sound like me. Thank you for sharing brother.
  18. fedmom

    fedmom Fapstronaut

    The advice given is correct actually as it's the root cause for any type of behavioural addiction which is also linked to the low mood that the op has.
  19. Themadfapper

    Themadfapper Fapstronaut

    Life will be even worse and you will feel even worse if you fap. Tough it out. There are peaks and there are valleys. You may not feel like doing something, but force yourself to do it regardless of how you feel whether it be exercise or any other rewarding activity.
    Metis07 and Fenix Rising like this.
  20. j0rdi3

    j0rdi3 Fapstronaut

    That's incorrect. Neither having developed a behavioral addiction or having a low mood necessarily means that one has a form of depression that must be treated through the use of SSRIs. In fact, the overwhelming likelihood chance is that treating the problem in this manner would have unintended consequences that would create additional problems. OP should continue down the rabbit hole until matters begin to improve.
    Castielle and AntiqueRevolverGuy like this.

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