2024 The Best Year Ever

Certainly, learning to take control of our emotions does require practice and I don't wish to suggest that I have become perfect at it. Everyone, bar none, has in their childhood or adolescence a truly sad story involving how the world mistreated them that causes us to react as we do. My own sad story sounds similar to yours. However, a wonderful freedom that comes from being a Christian is the knowledge that we don't have to be our former selves forever.

It is absolutely vital not to resign ourselves to our inclinations to self-pity, fear, anger and inferiority complexes. It is possible to be the courageous and controlled people that God designed us to be and Our Lord, in His human form, proved that.

Despite the fact that Christ knew of the horrific torture that awaited Him and the fact that He was to undergo it without supernatural help, He chose to let it be done to Him. Such incredible courage! This is the example we are called to imitate. Maybe we will never attain that level of courage but surely we are doing the right thing to strive for it.

Dear God, please give me the grace to become the person you designed me to be.

 

Great conversation here! @RedeemedIowan I too have a problem with scrolling. I've found it is a habit and also a subconscious problem. Subconsciously my physical will fly into action whether it be a phone or pc when it wants a dopamine hit. The problem for me is stopping it once it starts. It usually leads to worse and worse content until I end up with a reset. It would probably be best to work on breaking this habit.

 

At this point in the rehabilitation process, I think it helps to spend time identifying triggers. This will lead to avoiding them but even when that is not possible, it leads to controlling our reactions to them. With prayer, this also leads to recognizing the incredible superficiality of the things which trigger us, the falsehoods that these things promise and the slippery slope they can lead us down.

 

Prayer is meant to be a conversation. So often, I forgot that and turned it into a one sided thing where I talked but did not listen. Of course, listening and hearing can be hard as our mundane thoughts so frequently interrupt. However, there are many ways to pray and with some practice you will find the one that works for you. One method you might enjoy, as I do, is known as Lectio Divina. Take one of Jesus's sermons from the New Testament such as Matthew 5. Close your eyes and consider the scene. Feel the warmth of the sun from that day on your face. Hear Christ's clear, loving but strong voice. Imagine the things your 5 senses would experience and then thoughtfully read the words. When you come to a phrase that captures your attention, don't go on until you have fully considered it and satisfied your desire to contemplate it. God is using that phrase to speak to you.

 

For me it helps to take walks when praying. I do understand the feeling you have that ''your shouting to the wind'', I often feel like that too. But I guess it's important to realise that a prayer doesn't always have to be felt. God will still be listening to us even if we don't feel God's presence at that moment. Also what CPilot mentioned and the thing I personally struggle with the most is that prayer also includes listening, not only talking. This is something I wish I were better at, many times I get very easily distracted by other thoughts when just being quiet

 

Prayer and spiritual things are not a matter of feelings! our feelings so often fail to line up with or properly reflect reality. We believe, regardless of how we feel. Christ has promised to be with us always, and so he is -- whether we feel like he is or not. The longer and more consistently we maintain right belief, the more often our feelings will line up with reality.

EDIT: And look what just popped into my inbox!
https://www.morethanasundayfaith.com/2023/05/walking-without-seeing/

 

wow, what a ''coincidence'' haha. Great text!

 

Sounds like a phone addiction, maybe? I switched to a dumbphone for similar reasons, and to amputate that potential source of P. But maybe you need a smartphone for work or other reasons.

Have you tried, when nobody else is available or you don't want to use your phone, journaling? Explaining of you you feel to God and yourself in written form. This can be done on a screen device or on the ancient device of good old pen and paper. I do it a lot, particularly when really struggling or tempted. Just get the feelings out, work out what is going on, don't filter it, turn it into a prayer. [NB Be careful what you leave lying around, though--I have had family members find things before, with disastrous consequences.] If you want examples(?!), lots of the posts in my journal thread are just bits of typed journaling when tempted that then Ctrl+V'd into nofap to get help from others with (that can be addictive in itself though, I think...).

Journaling can also be another way of focusing in prayer. When you write, it takes more time and you concentrate on what you are praying more. Even 'God please help me I feel so ____, please help me with this.' is good. Don't filter it. Be real. There is also scientific evidence that just writing about stuff can help us process it.

You can have this. It's available to tap into and grow. Many believers testify to this. Some people can get weird about it, so don't get weird about it, but it is possible. I have had times in my life where I lived much more like this. It's not like we can see Jesus physically in the flesh with us, but we can learn to hear his still small voice (and sometimes quite loud voice!) speaking to us. John 10. I suggest, get somewhere quiet and alone, inside or in nature, bring yourself to him, pray, ask him to speak to you by his Spirit, then wait patiently, just notice what thoughts and images arise and what things pop into your head. Sure, some of it might be about breakfast or P-subs or whatever, but every time that happens just gently bring your attention back to God and listening to him. Other things will pop into your head too. Don't write them off. Don't veto. You might be surprised (though don't get weird about it--has to be edifying, line up with the Bible, and big things should be tested in community). Plenty of good books about this. Some that come to mind right now: Listening Prayer by Leanne Payne; Practice These Principles by Anonymous; and I think Do What Jesus Did by Robbie Dawkins has a section on this too.

 

Just a note, in the Protestant tradition it is uncommon to believe that God will "speak" to you with your thoughts. There is not a single example in the Scriptures that I can think of where someone is struggling to know whether the thoughts in his head are God speaking to him or not. None of the prophets said, "Hey, God, I think you're talking to me, but I just can't quite tell if it's you or my own thoughts." When God speaks, there is no question who is talking. Maybe Gideon's unique situation fits, but I don't think that story is an example to be imitated.

Jesus' speaks through the written word, the Bible. If you want to hear his word to you, you should read and study and listen through the Scriptures. And, of course, pray for the Spirit to give you understanding and faith in what is written.

This is not to say that Jesus, by his Spirit, doesn't actually work in our hearts and minds to understand the Scriptures, to recall the Scriptures, or to bring the Scriptures to our minds in moments of weakness or need, etc. We can only understand the Scriptures by the Spirit. So it is absolutely true that the Spirit is at work in the life of every believer--no doubt, it must be so! But to say that you will hear Jesus audibly speaking to you, in your ears or in your mind, outside of the Scriptures, I do not think is something that happens today.

I say this for two reason. First, when I first became a Christian I was in Pentecostal/charismatic circles and that's what I was convinced of. Later, I came to (in my opinion, anyway) a theological view of this that is more biblical. Let me just say there was much hurt caused to me by people claiming to have been told things by God. Second, you don't need to feel guilty or like your missing out by not "hearing" God/Jesus speak to you. Does Scripture teach that we're to "hear" God in this way today? I don't think the Scriptures teach that, so there's no reason to search it out or feel inferior for it not happening.

Anyway, I know there are many different opinions on this today. I'm not trying to persuade anyone one way or the other. I just want to make you more comfortable with the idea that this isn't anything you need to be concerned about, if you happen to hold the idea that this kind of stuff isn't supposed to be happening today anyway. The intimacy of your relationship with Jesus isn't measured by how often you "hear him" speaking to you in your head. Your intimacy with him is a matter of faith and love and union with him by the Spirit. A lot more could be said here.

I hope this encourages you. If you're convinced Jesus still talks and communicates directly with his disciples today outside of or beyond the written word of God, please simply ignore my post.

 

On the topic of prayer, I would recommend both Willard's book and Sam Williamson's "Hearing God in Conversation." Both were helpful to me.

 

@Wilderness Wanderer I think we are going to diverge on this as you might imagine, and I don't want to hijack RedeemedIowan's journal thread, however...

I'm a charismatic/Pentecostal-Protestant-evangelical (also with a PhD in Theology from an Ivy-league-level University--I'm not going to tell you where because I don't want to reveal my location; you are just going to have to take my word for this, and if you don't then no problem!). In my view, God still speaking to us today outside and beyond the Bible is completely and utterly Biblical. Just read for example 1 Corinthians 12-14. In my experience many conservatives actually live in practice as if God still speaks today anyway, through scripture, yes, but also through the 'still small voice', senses of guidance in prayer, the encouragement and timely words of others, and so on. Charismatics/Pentecostals just have their own terminology for it and seek to go a bit further in it.

Incidentally, what have the scriptures been telling you lately about your persistent use of pornography and masturbation?

 

Hi, friend. I figured giving the historic Protestant position a voice in this discussion has value--first of all because I believe it's what the Scriptures teach, secondly because it seems many simply aren't aware of this view nowadays, but also because I've been seriously hurt and, at times, felt belittled and inferior when I didn't have certain "spiritual experiences" that others claim to have had. I'm aware of alternative views and their reasoning from the Scriptures. If you are a Pentecostal/charismatic believer in Christ, that's fine with me and I have no interest in debating the topic. But I'm happy to discuss it privately with anyone who is genuinely curious.

Has something I said anywhere in my journal or on this forum led you to think my understanding of the place of pornography or masturbation in the life of the Christian is in error? If so, I am very open to hearing from you--perhaps via a direct message. Thank you for sharing your concern I am sincerely thankful to all those on the forum who have contributed in my sanctification--in thought, word, and deed--towards greater conformity to Christ!

 

nice post. I've never in my life heard God talk to me audibly either, but I have had days/weeks where I could very clearly feel God was present when praying because the feeling I had was unlike any other. I always saw this as a way of God talking to me, maybe that's what you refer to when talking about your intimacy with him in the spirit? So having had those moments, I wish I could always have them during prayer time, but I don't. For quite some time I have seen this as me not praying properly, until I started noticing that many people don't have feelings when praying, but they still pray persistently and God is always listening, even when it feels silent. So recently I have always tried to start my day with prayer, even when I feel like I'm just talking to myself. And somehow, each time I do, it seems like I have more inner peace during my days. I get less stressed, frustrated, and dare I say even less tempted.

Still prayer stays a difficult topic to me. When do I talk? When do I listen? How do I listen? How do I not get distracted when listening? What am I allowed to ask? Should I fully put my trust on God when asking him for something? Or should I also keep in mind that the thing I ask for maybe isn't God's will?

Like you see many many questions. Would love to grow in this and maybe get the answers to all these questions some day.

 

The manner in which God reveals Himself to each of us as individuals is surely a mystery but there are a few things we know to be true. After the fall of man in original sin, God again revealed Himself to man, as a species, gradually through words and deeds. It seems logical that today God also reveals himself to individuals gradually through graceful gifts and by leading us to new levels of understanding based on the Word (e.g. Jesus Christ). I don't wish to suggest that God doesn't speak to each one of us because I am sure He does but the method of communication may generally seem subtle and gradual to human minds.

On a broader scale, in order not to be misled by false religions or our own concoctions it is important for Christians to recognize that God has revealed himself fully by sending his own Son, in whom he has established His covenant with man forever. The Son is his Father's definitive Word; so there will be no further Revelation after Him.

 

Completely agree with you @CPilot , except for the second clause of your last sentence!

The Bible nowhere says that there will be no further revelation (small 'r'). Ephesians 1, for example, exhorts us that we be filled with the Spirit of revelation. I'm not talking about wacky revelations adding to the canon, I am simply talking about the Holy Spirit guiding us day to day, in accordance with (and through) scripture. This happens all through scripture itself and there is nowhere in scripture that indicates it would or should stop. It is possible and there is a tonne of good, orthodox (little 'o') material on it out there.

But ultimately, I think prayer and listening to God is intensely personal. Nobody can tell you how to make love. In the same way, nobody can tell you how to pray. There may be some general tips and pointers that are helpful to most people, but really it is a personal matter. However, in both areas of life we would expect things to be two- and not just one-way!

I repented of writing my question to you that night before I went to sleep. I wrote it with the intention of a bit of a sting because the cessationist position irritates me. I'm sorry for that. While I do not agree with the position, I respect you and we are all brothers in Christ here. My underlying point I would stand by, though, even if I can now express it differently: Your knowledge of scripture alone does not seem to be helping you get free of PMO. Perhaps becoming more open (again) to the guidance and leading of the Spirit might? Romans 8.

Sorry for hijacking your journal thread, @RedeemedIowan !

 

I suspect we are saying the same thing with different words. You are right, the Holy Spirit is guiding us day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. However, His guidance is to a fuller understanding and implementation of the teachings of Christ thus there is no Revelation (with a big "R") beyond Christ, whom we know to be a member of the trilogy of God alongside the Holy Spirit and the Father. God has revealed Himself to us completely through Christ although it takes time, patience, numerous lessons and a desire to learn, for most of us, to truly understand.

I do believe that in a few instances God and some of the Saints have revealed themselves personally to some individuals and these revelations can be helpful to all of us. However, one important verification of authenticity of such revelations is if they are in accordance with Christ's teachings.

My wife and I watched a fictional story last night concerning an author who wrote a book about someone who got the incredible incite that God is nothing but a child who plays with humans like dominoes. Clearly, this sort of revelation has no validity because it is not how God revealed Himself to us over the ages and ultimately through His precious son. This is all I hope to convey, beware of those who have a fresh, new and completely different insight into the mind or nature of God. They don't.

 

Great quote from Stringer. That is it in a nutshell.

I can't believe it's been five years. Let's keep fighting and walking and resting -- all for the good name of our great God. Onward!

 

I also wanted to comment about how great that quote is. My wife and I just discussed how difficult it is with the messy, cluttered house where there isn't enough storage for our stuff. It's anxiety inducing and a source of constant depression (can't host people over without hiding all our stuff away in rooms, etc.). It's a life, a home, we want to escape. Self-care would mean taking care of it.

Where did you find that quote?