Day 8/30 Today I've slept 10 hours. I was awake at 7.30 am but I stayed in bed. The problem was that I have started to think on the next chapter of the book I am writing and some sensual and erotic scenes have come to my mind. I've had an erection and I have pushed my penis against the matress during a few seconds. It has been hard to stop, but I got it. I wanted so much to masturbate. The rest of the day I have been visiting some cities in the North of Spain with my bf as we are on holidays. So I have felt better.
Day 14 over! Noticing a lot more laughter from myself when with my girlfriend, friends or just laughing at things I see online.
Day-6!. So long Gary Wilson's YBOP book has helped me give the deeper perspective on what happens inside our brain. The understanding that there are two opposing forces inside the brain:the reward circuit(monkey mind) craving for more dopamine hits; the prefrontal cortex which takes the logical long-term beneficiary decisions and also responsible for will power. For all of us, it is a tug of war between this two forces which is termed as 'cognitive dissonance'. So I felt it is important to constantly strengthen the cortex side(logical side) by imparting it the knowledge of what this addiction is all about and how it pulls us into a constant loop of virtuality. That helped me maintain will and stand when faced with urges. Dopamine also feeds on anxiety. The more anxiety we are the more dopamine surge and this benefits the reward circuit temptations to win over the logical cortex side. So I tried to confront the anxiety by seeing the larger picture of life and the role of the problem we are faced by. Dealing properly with anxiety helped me till now.