30 days for the second time - but this time I gonna make it

This is the 2nd time I passed the 30 day mark (previously I relapsed around/near 50 days). I am doing the monk mode (hard mode + other austerity rules). Out of the additional targets on top of abstaining from PMO, I am avoiding meals after lunch, avoiding music, shows, films (any kind of entertainment).

I have learned my lessons from so many relapses I had, and since then I have been refining my tactics and strategy (even though it is still nowhere near perfect).

I hope to become fully celibate eventually, that our inner source of happiness is not based on what we enjoy through the senses.

So far in these 30 days, I feel very energetic so I am using ways to channel this energy - I am learning NLP, how to improve brain power, hope to get back into yoga and also take up QiGong. Hope to spend more time with meditation as this helps with avoiding PMO as an unintended side-benefit (as the primary reason why I do meditation is not to avoid relapse).

I do have some difficulty with sleeping because I used MO in the bed to help me go to sleep on most days. So since this is no longer there as an option to make me feel tired to make me go to sleep, I hope to find other strategies to help me get some healthy good night sleep.

I find that avoiding entertainment and fasting after midday helps a lot as this helps to minimize the sexual desire in me, to help to reduce that to a fraction.

There have been few instances where my defenses became low and this included fantasizing about girls as well as a day when I listened to erotic podcasts. However, deep inside me I felt that the ideals of NoFap were way too good to give up. I ve been fantasizing and engagin my mind in erotic fantasies for a big chunk of my life but there was no particular success during all those years. And if I keep doing the same thing then I will always get the same thing I always got - disappointment and failure.

I am trying to constantly remind myself that I am following the monk mode of NoFap - the highest it will ever get. I find this to be the best for me.

As I have spent some time (just a few occasions) fantasizing and spending about half a day listening to erotic podcasts, I hope to spend more time in NoFap (more than the expected 90 days). For now, I have no intention to stop after 90 days. I hope to keep going indefinitely.

With this momentum that I have got, I feel I am unrelapsable. Feels like I am unstoppable and I am hoping to push the boundaries to the maximum limit. Something really bizarre and out of hand has to happen for me to relapse. I feel so empowered. I feel like a slave who is free.

 

You gonna more likely relapse if you take away all the entarteinment. Entarteinment causes happiness. Bad emotions, on the other hand, can lead you to want to watch P or stuff like that. Just stop isolating yourself from music and movies! Isolate yourself from movies that have sex scenes n stuff, avoid watching slutty music videos, but other than that - enjoy them! Cause noone knows how long he have to live!

 

Great job! Never stop! Going monk mode too, feels great!

 

Thanks folks. As for not seeking entertainment, I find that this time it has made mind a lot quieter and I can observe sexual desire arising at early stages. I think the problem I had with types of entertainment was that it can make the mind very distracted and cloudy, so it can be difficult to see sexual desire rising within the mind.
I feel that sexual urges are a lot less frequent and less intense compared to when I was just doing the normal hard mode.

Also in addition to this, so far I have tried to avoid meals after midday (or at least avoid meals after when I have lunch - even when that is a late lunch). I find this helps too. When I used to have 3 meals a day, there is always the feeling of satiety except that the mind is not content. But when avoiding meals after lunch, the body feels a lot lighter and so does the mind. So early signs of the arising of sexual thoughts can easily be observed with this clear mind.

The reason why I am avoiding entertainment is because of a religious austerity practice that can be taken as an option.
I hope to master the art of full celibacy so that eventually when I take it up I can continue to do it effortlessly in an indefinite manner, lifelong hopefully.

I know I am talking too much ahead of myself, but sometimes it can be helpful to aim at the far distance to have some hope of at least landing in the middle.