34 years dutch guy don't know what to do.

T

TheB3ast

Fapstronaut
Hi im new here.
Sorry for my bad english.
Im 34 years old.
Think i my start watching porn was when i was 14.
Problem that i have is that many thing that i do bacame a addiction.
So was porn also.
At the age of 17 i met my girl and i am still with her.
We also have 2 kids.
Always i want to masturbate myself and i also have sex with my girl.
Normally you would say why do you complain.
But the last years i am suffering depressing problems and also anxiety issues that are distroying my live.
In the past when i masturbate i was thinking that is was the medicine for feeling better.
But sometimes when i look back i think maybe the addiction is responsable for my health problems that started when i was 21.

My dokter thinks i have a anxiety problem with some depression problems.
In my family this is a common problem.
But sometimes i think the porn problem and masturbation is effecting my dopamine systems.
At this time i am busy with behaviour therapy and so on.
But why maybe my symptomes can get better when i stop watching porn.

My biggest problem is i love my girl.
I love to have sex with here.
She loves my sex.
But the last years my addiction to sex and masturbation is so big, sometimes i masturbate daily and the hunger for sex is really big sometimes i almost force my girl for sex.
I dont want that anymore.
I want to have an normal sexlive.
I dont want to be addicted to sex and maturbation and porn.

A couple of weeks ago i started to stop the masturbation because i was sick of it.
2 weeks was no problem.
But the feeling that my dick is death is not nice.
And the feeling of that your balls are so full of sperm is horrible.
Butt i was feeling way better and better concentration and better sleep.
After 2 weeks i wake up and cant resist is and jerkt of.
The amound of sperm was almost a glass full.
But the feeling after it was down foggy bad thinking no concentration and so on.
And no sleeping very scary at the night.

This was the first time i was thinking is the the reaction of an orgasme.
Is it that why i have so many heath problems depressions and anxiety.
That thoughts makes more fear in me.

That was 3 days ago.
Yesterday i had sex with my girl i was so good but the hole time i was thinking i cant do this because after my orgasme i will feel shit again.
But i finishd because i do want to feel good to this is not her problem.
I love my girl and i want to make her happy.
Now i dont know what to do .

I want to stop maturbation for now and porn for good.

But i cant say to my girl that we dont have sex anymore.
And i also want sex but on a normal way without presure and when i have a orgasme i dont want to.
I want to reboot but i also want to have sex.
I understand that you have to bring it back less sex.
I dont know what to do and were to start.

Can you guys help me please.
Sorry for my bad english again.
 
Hello mate. I am in a similar situation, I am on NoFap and I have a wife which I love dearly.
The poison you really have to get rid of is porn. Not ejaculating could do also good, but the REAL important issue is porn. Just kick it out of your life. It can seriously mess with your dopamine for the profit of the industry, and the loss is all yours.
It is normal to feel shaken lonely and a bit depressed after ejaculation. French poets used to call it "la petite mort": the tiny death. But ejaculating with your partner, will make you share that feeling cuddling with her. It is natural and healthy.
Welcome to the forum and congratulation for your choice. You will gain a lot.
 
Otello said:
Hello mate. I am in a similar situation, I am on NoFap and I have a wife which I love dearly.
The poison you really have to get rid of is porn. Not ejaculating could do also good, but the REAL important issue is porn. Just kick it out of your life. It can seriously mess with your dopamine for the profit of the industry, and the loss is all yours.
It is normal to feel shaken lonely and a bit depressed after ejaculation. French poets used to call it "la petite mort": the tiny death. But ejaculating with your partner, will make you share that feeling cuddling with her. It is natural and healthy.
Welcome to the forum and congratulation for your choice. You will gain a lot.
Click to expand...
Thanks mate.
This meens a lot to me.
Is difficult.
Porn is killing but i love to have sex with my wife and i will continue doing that but only on a normal base.

Where you from?
 
Thanks to you mate. It is always healthy to share.
I am in Italy, on total shutdown at home since 2 weeks but I managed to get to day 30 without watching any porn at all, and sharing the journey with my wife. My goal is a lifetime porn free. Also gaining more consciousness of the human trafficking trade behind porn industry helped.
My wife never had issues with my love for porn, but I never really told her that it was a bad addiction to me until now, when I decided to face this issue once and for all. Sharing with her is important. We have been without sex also for a while, we just had a kid and this prevented it anyway. Intimacy with a 3 months toddler around is almost impossible. Do you think you could share the effort you are doing with your girlfriend? Mind that porn is a powerful drug, and getting rid of that drug a day at a time is something that should make us proud. So she could only love you more being aware of the bravery required for the journey you decided to take.
 
Otello said:
Thanks to you mate. It is always healthy to share.
I am in Italy, on total shutdown at home since 2 weeks but I managed to get to day 30 without watching any porn at all, and sharing the journey with my wife. My goal is a lifetime porn free. Also gaining more consciousness of the human trafficking trade behind porn industry helped.
My wife never had issues with my love for porn, but I never really told her that it was a bad addiction to me until now, when I decided to face this issue once and for all. Sharing with her is important. We have been without sex also for a while, we just had a kid and this prevented it anyway. Intimacy with a 3 months toddler around is almost impossible. Do you think you could share the effort you are doing with your girlfriend? Mind that porn is a powerful drug, and getting rid of that drug a day at a time is something that should make us proud. So she could only love you more being aware of the bravery required for the journey you decided to take.
Click to expand...
Obviously porn is very bad.
But I never really looked at it that way.
Because everyone is doing it around you.
All day all kinds of whatsapp movies.

But indeed my girlfriend is aware.
And think it's okay but said also has needs and sometimes wants sex.
Of course I also think a lot less.
Want to reboot a little.
Because I often had the urge to have sex with my wife because the urge is nasr.
And I don't want that anymore.

Are you ad home all day?
Inn Holland we still can go out i dont know for how long.
 
Hello B3ast, welcome to the group. Your story is similar to a lot of guys on here. You can definitely find the help you're looking for to beat this addiction. The key is to start with a small goal, like "just for today, I will not PMO." Then you can build from that. It is completely possible to do a reboot avoiding Porn and Masturbation, but allowing for Orgasm through regular sex. It's the un-natural levels of stimulation from porn and edging that really create the problems for most of us. I think they call this way of rebooting "normal mode", so you can find some more information on that in the rebooting section.

I also wanted to tag @erik1990 in this thread. He's new here as well, and he's also a Dutchman, so it may be good for the two of you to connect, so that you can communicate in your native language if that's easier for you. Having all the friend you can in this battle is key. Good luck, brother!
 
Hoi @TheB3ast,

Je kan me een PM sturen, of in het forum onder internationale forums kijken, daar is een Nederlands forum :) Ik ben ook pas begonnen, en onze situaties lijken erg op elkaar. Ik spreek je later!

Gr!
 
Hey welcome to the NoFap forum : )

It's nice to see you here fighting the good fight alongside us!


First let me go ahead and drop some helpful links for you:

Getting Started Guide / Forum Rules / How to Use the NoFap forums/ Glossary/ NoFap Panic button / Set up your day counter / Rebooting Resources/ About NoFap/ Support NoFap


Here is just some advice:


First and foremost please take a look at each section in the forum, there might be something(s) you may find of big help to you. Feel free to post there :+)


Then secondly I just advise you to be active on your profile(as there a few active people in the profile section). Please start by choosing an avatar and then make daily status posts to show you're active and needing support/encouragement. They've also got a neat little feature that shows freshly posted statuses for all users to see. People will find your profile and give you encouragement/support.


Theres a portion of people who love communicating in the profile section..(it should be and is )mostly spportive talk but it doesn't hurt to deviate from supportive talk. It would be great to have you join in and support others in the threads, profiles, and journal. Make sure and be grateful for the help you received and give some help after receiving some. Invest in some people's journeys. We could always use your help and in return you shall receive some as well!


Thirdly, You should also highly consider creating a public journal/log (in the appropriate section for you) and write about your days in more depth for us members to follow along your journey and offer support to you by way of posting in your journal.


Last but not least: Good luck on your journey here, make sure to really give it a try with all your heart!
 
Hi, welcome to the community

I would recommend you to stay in touch with members and read their success stories. You may also learn tricks to avoid the short-term pleasure and to face the temptations.

Be AWARE of your habits and control what you see and what/who you spend your time with.

It's also important to limit the usage of social media. In addition, never be free! Use your free time as much as possible and do sports, exercise, attend classes, etc.

This video contains everything that you need to know about porn addiction. Lastly, here is a collection of ways to deal with the urges which worked great for me.

֍ You got this my friend ֍​
 
To bad did not succeed today and lost.

Immediately afterwards I feel listlessly depressed and so on

Think it was 2 weeks since I had sex.

That's when I felt the same way.


I hope this feeling disappears soon.

Almost panic.


Came 3 times in 1 month 2 times by sex and 1 time today by masturbating.

Do I have to start all over again or how does that reboot work?
 
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