35 and Older Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by artifact, Nov 24, 2018.

  1. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    Feeling the urge to go to a porn/rp chatroom today. Haven't really had a hard time in the last 6 days until now. Thinking about past chats and who I would find there. But still fighting that urge and came here instead.
     
  2. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    @David2018, I've found similar experience - it's all plain sailing until it isn't.

    It was the right decision to come here. I'm sure it wasn't the easiest one to make in the moment.

    Stay strong!
     
  3. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    It’s probably a good idea to get off the screen and go for a walk or hang out with your family. Remove the triggers!
     
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  4. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    Easier said then done. I'm working on my computer from home. But, I actually have my kids around quite a bit in my office. When I'm deep in my chatrooms trance I pretend I'm too busy or my work is too important for anyone to be around. It's nice to leave that all behind. No lies.
     
  5. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    So true. It's easy and then a stray thought comes into my mind. A voice telling me I can go onto a chat site for just a few minutes. That it won't make a difference.
     
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  6. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    I’m saying this as a fellow addict and without judgment: it’s easy to shut off your computer and do something else, engage your kids, etc. I learned this last year when a 17 year old (on this forum) told me to do just that. It was so simple it made me laugh. But it works!

    and it will be much easier to do it again when you feel tempted.
     
    Last edited: May 11, 2020
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  7. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut


    I have lots of negative time wasters. PM one of them, but I noticed I’d refuse to stop work for healthy things. It’s better to take a 20 minute break and return focused after doing something healthy.
     
  8. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    @discovery you asked about hobbies and I forgot to answer. I meant to edit and add and forgot.

    I have a 75% done novel that’s been sitting in a drawer for years I want to finish. I have a few other projects going on too.

    Day 16. It feels like I’m in a good place with PM. It seems like the only way it ends is if I were to lie to myself or lose a sense of urgency that it’s important to stop.
     
  9. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    Day 6 and all has gone well until now.

    My wife and I had a mini argument about P and I'm mentally in a dark place afterwards. From what I know of myself and the many years of struggling with this affliction, the pattern is that this would normally be a "turning point".

    There's no danger of a reset today, but I predict that the next few days are going to be difficult.

    Dark times.

    On the bright side, I have you guys! I've never had an accountability partner before (so why not have a whole fleet!) and every other attempt to change the pattern has been on my own, which is unbelievably lonely and has always failed in the end.
    I have high hopes that this will be more sustainable.
     
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  10. Good luck, magvor. Glad you are with us.
     
  11. Pirate3819

    Pirate3819 Fapstronaut

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    Checking in. I hope everyone is safe and healthy!
     
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  12. discovery

    discovery Fapstronaut

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    That is awesome man! A novel. What genre? Even if it goes nowhere in terms of financial success, just knowing that you completed it will make it worth it. And then of course it would be something passed down through the family long after you're gone. My grandfather was a deeply religious Catholic and wrote a book called 'Who Is As God?' in the 60's. It got rejected by every publisher he sent it to. I'm not sure if any of his kids ever read it. I know my mom didn't. But, I still think it's super awesome that he wrote a book. Most people never do. Good luck with it GottaB.

    Welcome magvor. Yes, this group can be a game changer. I have avoided many relapse/resets due to the influence of this group. Just be sure to stay active. Welcome!
     
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  13. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    I’m working on day 22. The thoughts of P are in the background but very manageable.

    I started one of those bootcamp-style workouts. It’s a 6-week regiment. So now I throw around a kettlebell every night for about 40 minutes. The result is I watch almost no TV, I sleep like a log, and my body feels completely drained of testosterone, so I am as cuddly as a kitten - my irritability is gone!
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2020
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  14. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    Welcome to the new guys! We have lots of new folks who joined us over the last little while, which is great!

    Tell us about yourselves - I would love to hear what brought you here and what motivates you to get rid of PM.
     
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  15. PIED is real for me. When I was on my 7 month streak not too long ago it was not near the problem it used to be. I wouldn't say it was completely cured but I think it would have been soon had I not been such a dumbass and relapsed.
     
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  16. magvor

    magvor Fapstronaut
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    Just checking in at the end of day 7. All clear.

    Thanks to everyone for your support today - it really helped me to get through.
     
  17. GottaBFree

    GottaBFree Fapstronaut

    Day 17– I’m doing well.

    I tried to go to bed early last night but couldn’t sleep. I got up and midnight and worked on stuff for a couple of hours. I feel like I’m seeing PM traps and am being humble enough to immediately alter my routine WAY before it becomes an issue.

    I’m just trying to avoid all the self lies that could start a chain of events that would lead to a bad place.
     
  18. Circleinthesquare

    Circleinthesquare Fapstronaut

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    Check in this sunny Thursday morning - got caught watching a racy movie a few days ago but have now turned it around.
     
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  19. Timber

    Timber Fapstronaut

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    Working on day 23... I’m not out of the weeds yet. My balls feel very uncomfortable (it just so happens I have been in hard mode the entire time). Sometimes I feel like I’m in a fog and the only Way to get out is to jerk off.

    I’m ploughing through with minimal screen time, lots of physical activity, and long cold showers.

    a part of me wishes for this stage to be over ASAP, but I know I’m here because I need to learn fortitude and perseverance. I’m thankful for today and I’ll accept its challenges as gifts.
     
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  20. David2018

    David2018 Fapstronaut

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    I relapsed too. I don't know why. I just did. Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. But it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that long, compared to what I've done in the past. So I reset my time. I'm back at 1 day. Just glad it didn't turn into weeks of PMO.
     
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