4 and a half years - want to share my insights

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by vibemaker, Jan 13, 2021.

  1. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Hello you lovely fapstronauts,


    I'm on this journey for now about 4 and a half years; and it's still ongoing.

    I want to share my insights in the best possible way with you, and to be able to do this...

    ... 1. I'm very curious about what are you struggling most with?

    2. Are it withdrawal symptoms? When and what kind of?

    3. Do you only manage to pull off a certain amount of days and see yourself fall back in the old pattern? When does this exactly happen?

    4. What do you fear the most during this journey? Does this fear contribute to any of your relapses?

    5. What are the situations like that are most triggering for your porn use? F.e. do you have to deal with certain people or do you face certain emotions or even past memories?

    6. When do you slip-up, reset or even relapse most likely?


    It would be much appreciated if you take time to answer some or even all of this questions, so I can be at best service to help you.


    Thank you
    & stay strong!

    VM
     
  2. Gishki

    Gishki Fapstronaut

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    1) I am struggling to stop watching P

    2) Withdrawal symptoms I get is hair pulling, I get angry easily when i’m very horny, my mood becomes a little unstable I guess (can go very sad then suddenly flip the opposite way).

    3) I made an account here 2017 but only came back Jan 2021, can’t remember why I stopped coming in 2017. The reason I came back now in 2021, this last 2 months I don’t know why but my habit has gone extreme (PMO everyday or two, EVERYTIME), and it became so bad I had to seek help / be with others who could help me. So I am still falling back to old habits. If you mean when do I PMO I find it first thing in the morning when i’ve got morning wood, and in the evening when I am unable to get to sleep.

    4) What I fear most is if I get married 2022 I do not want to PMO during marriage life, I have a fear due to PMO I may not perform as well with a woman.

    5) What triggers me is social media pictures, when i’m bored, or when i’m feeling sad & lonely I will then go to PMO to cheer myself up (which is WRONG type of happiness).

    6) Most likely to relapse first thing morning / evening.
     
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  3. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

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    1. The constant grind of the quitting process. Not being able to get any wind in my sails for long periods. But I feel the wind is picking up at the moment.

    2. Yes. My withdrawal symptoms include- anxiety, depression, anger sometimes, low frustration tolerance, and a constant craving for dopamine.

    3. If I can get past 30 days I can normally pull off a pretty decent streak. If not I can normally manage to keep my acting out to a few times per month.

    4. I fear not being able to quit. And I fear being exposed as an addict. And yes these fears used to trigger my addiction but they don’t anymore because I dealt with them in therapy.

    5. Being alone for too long. (Hotel stats are the worst) the aftermath of a stressful event. Any nudity that is unexpected on a tv show or movie.

    6. When I’m feeling entitled or sometimes I relapse when I feel really good.
     
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  4. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    1. I'm very curious about what are you struggling most with?

    I usually start very motivated, but the motivation wanes as days go through and it gets routine. Then I start doubting my reasons to be in NoFap and I rationalize that it's not worth it, even though I set the goal very firmly. I'm used to abandoning ideas and switching instances, I'm always changing my mind and I see this as a problem.

    2. Are it withdrawal symptoms? When and what kind of?

    Sometimes I get really depressed while on NoFap, to the point of fantasizing about suicide. I guess I just don't want to admit it, those problems are there when I fap too, only they make me temporarily forget about evil ideas and they distract me. But it's a downward spiral because fapping makes me feel worse and I get even more depressed.

    3. Do you only manage to pull off a certain amount of days and see yourself fall back in the old pattern? When does this exactly happen?

    Around day 80 I start building anxiety for reaching the "mythical" 90 days, and having taken 6 years for me to reach it, I get very anxious. Two times I let the anxiety get the best of me and I relapsed a few days after 90 days. Also feeling lost and nowhere to set a new goal after 90 days. I now set it to 120 to avoid this, or at least postpone the problem until I find a solution.

    4. What do you fear the most during this journey? Does this fear contribute to any of your relapses?

    Girls. When I'm on a long streak, I naturally go out of my comfort zone. I asked a girl out and then got rejected, this put me down and I relapsed. I should learn to just let it go and don't stress over being rejected. This is easy in talk but difficult in action.

    5. What are the situations like that are most triggering for your porn use? F.e. do you have to deal with certain people or do you face certain emotions or even past memories?

    After 2 month or so, I feel confident, overly confident let's say, and I start getting complacent and watching videos, browsing social media and doing things I'd never do when I start a new streak. I must learn to be firm and vigilant always and not get complacent with bad behavior.

    6. When do you slip-up, reset or even relapse most likely?

    Weekends and holidays. That's when I'm alone for the longest time.
     
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  5. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

    Congratulations for the excellent post I'd like to read more stories. Those are very good and thought provoking questions.
     
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  6. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    Thank you guys.

    @safa61947 Thanks for that very detailed, well articulated answer. Helps a lot.
     
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  7. vibemaker

    vibemaker Fapstronaut

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    If anyone wants to add something, feel free to share.
     
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  8. Different Built

    Different Built Fapstronaut

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    PMO'ed for 2-3 years fairly moderately but trying to stop from the first time. Had two slip-ups in one day after 116 days clean. So total I have had 2 short relapses in 130 days. Still in flatline since day 55 or 60. Depression, anhedonia, dead dick. Is it normal for me to be flatlining so badly? I'm only 19 and I started PMOing at age 17
     
  9. safa61947

    safa61947 Fapstronaut

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