60 plus.......

59 next month. Married 35 years this year.
My wife has not been open to sex for nearly five years.
Just coming off an 18 month hookup binge.
The last couple orgasms left me in a very dark place for 2-3 days. One from PMO and one from a hookup.
I have decided to forgo orgasms moving forward.
My life is already 10x better only one month in. I’m more fit, my mind is clearer and I actually accept and appreciate my wife more.
I refer to the post 60 years as the third half of life.
0-30 is growing into who you are.
30-60 is growing others (our kids)
After 60 we need to determine how to finish well in the “third half.”

 

I turned 30 two weeks ago. When I turned 29, I realized next time would be 30. Since that realization, I've had an increased sense of urgency towards finishing my education and solving the immigration issue with my girlfriend (we live on different continents currently), proposing to her (haven't yet), as well as our housing situation. I want to live with her and start a family. She is also a bit older than me (33), which does push me to push those kids in there as fast as possible without destroying our lives in the process.

I'm still not sure what it means to be 30. Maybe it doesn't mean much. On my birthday, my younger sister visited me and drew me on my whiteboard with my name and "30 years old". I've left it there because I feel something whenever I look at it. I'm still reflecting on it.

 

Turning 65 this year, here's my plans:

• No porn - That means breaking a 50-year addiction. Started hiding playboy magazines in my parents attic and progressed to the 1-6 hour daily binges that are now at the tip of our fingers.
  
• Build more friendships - I've had enough friends at times but as the years go by I have less close friends than ever. My personality didn't change, but I moved 30-years ago and have been working solo ever since. It can get very isolating in my house all day. (It was great for watching porn while everyone else worked.)
  
• Live as healthy as possible - 7-8 hours of sleep, eat clean lean food, drink less alcohol, exercise more by trying to do something active 5 days per week.
  
• Build more intimacy with my wife - She's beautiful, we have been together 25-years, married 15-years. I'm noticing a better relationship with her since I have come back to Nofap and trying to MO less often, and NO PORN for 44-days so far.
  
• Find a job that satisfies me - I've been unemployed since 1/2023. I would like to retire, but I have the energy to continue working and I probably need another 3-5 years of high-earnings to retire and have my money last another 20-years after the paychecks stop.

That's a lot of new things for an old-dog. The best of all of it is NO PORN. If I didn't stop using porn, none of the above would be possible.

 

Great job on 44 days!

 

It doesn’t have to be “more of the same.” If we work on ourselves every day then gradually things begin to change. What is required is patience, persistence, presence, and faith. Am I out of the woods yet? No, but there is a light in the darkness.

If you are looking for additional help then I’d recommend taking a look at the work of Bob Gardner, the “Freedom Specialist.” He freed himself of porn “addiction.”