7 years of recovery.

1

1231philip

Fapstronaut
So I guess this is it.
The first leg on my latest attempt to quite porn.
I've done the "successful" porn challenge before: hard mode for 30+ days.
But for some reason for the past 7 years I haven't been able to stop.
I'll break it down.
I'm a 21 year old Canadian with a good job, and amazing family, great friends, and great opportunities in life that I keep wasting.
My life is seemingly together, but beneath the surface their lurks a disgusting evil.

I've been addicted to porn since I was 14, I remember the first time I saw it very clearly.
It's never been "that bad" though. I've never had any desire to watch the "hard stuff" I can go for days or even sometimes weeks with out PMO. But still, not matter how hard I try, I can't quit.
Sometimes I hate myself, and I'm often angry at myself. But I still can't quit.
I've tried just about everything under the sun, accept for this... (at least this seriously.)
I think my problem is that I've become apathetic. I've always been 'almost there' so I stop really fighting.
This wretched cycle of PMO HAS to stop!
So here it is. Day 1 of the rest of my life.
Wish me luck.
 
DOn't be too hard on yourself. See nofap as a journey rather than just success or failure. You will learn a lot from every reboot and relapse. Good luck!
 
Post on this thread every day summarizing what you did. You should journal what was tough, what made you come close to relapsing, how bad you feel, what benefits you are slowly gaining, spiritual philosophies. Trust me, posting helps a lot. It puts your life into perspective and allows you to look back at the days you conquered when things get tough in the future, and trust me it will get extremely difficult, but it makes you stronger just like any challenge in life you conquer.
 
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