2manyhours
Fapstronaut
Hello, everyone.
I am a 29 year-old guy who has been addicted to masturbation for about 10 years. Up until the age of 18 I would say my fapping habits were pretty healthy, until I started using porn. Although I do watch images and videos, the thing I really struggle with the most is verbal content (perhaps that's how my brain works), so I am especially addicted to erotic stories and, more recently, sexting with people online.
I do not normally masturbate many times in a day, but my real problem is that I often edge for hours. What I noticed is that, when I do that, I am not interested at all in reaching orgasm, in fact that's the last thing I want. Instead, I just want to keep it going forever, theoretically. As I often do this at night (as it is the only time of the day I have the time to do it) I end up losing entire nights of sleep. This has gotten so bad I have had completely messed up sleeping patters for years (I have a flexible working schedule, so that makes it more difficult). In the worst cases I will only ever allow myself to cum when I am completely exhausted.
Switching from standard porn to sexting has made things definitely worse. I find that, because my arousal is dependent on other people (tho not in the way it would when you have sex), I am even less in control of my masturbation habits. For instance, I would start a session and then have to 'wait' hours because a given person I am sexting with stops talking temporarily for whatever reason, and then have to look for somebody else. Even worse, I have recently found myself masturbating on days when I had absolutely no physical desire to, simply because of receiving a certain message from somebody and thinking to myself that I could not waste such an opportunity. Of course, I realise how insane this is, but at the time it happens I just have no control over it.
Essentially I want to quit for all manners of reasons. This habit is affecting my sex life, my health, my work and life in general. I lost count of how many nights I stayed up, and then was unable to get anything done the day after because I would be way too tired. Also, I recently get pain in my pelvis after long edging sessions which I did not used to; I figure my body is telling me that it cannot cope anymore with this. Lastly, I know that if I was ever to get in a relationship again this would definitely be an issue.
My ideal goal would not be to quit masturbation entirely. I was raised catholic and have become, over the years, very wary of their all-or-nothing approach, as well as their demonisation of sexual activities. Although I understand why, to an addict, even a little of something can cause a full-on relapse, if I were to get over this addiction (which I am not very convinced of) I would not mind to have the occasional wank. When I was a young teen, before I started developing this addiction, I would masturbate roughly once every 4 days (absolutely no edging), and that seemed to work pretty well for me. I would definitely love to be able to have that level of self-control again, and it would most certainly be better than what I do now.
The idea of rebooting sounds great but, to me, it also sounds very very difficult. At the best of time I can go a max of 3 days without wanking, and that is normally considered an achievement. Also, I am not sure if I could give up sex for that long, if it were to happen (not that I have sex all that regularly anyway).
Sorry for the lengthy post and thanks for reading!
I am a 29 year-old guy who has been addicted to masturbation for about 10 years. Up until the age of 18 I would say my fapping habits were pretty healthy, until I started using porn. Although I do watch images and videos, the thing I really struggle with the most is verbal content (perhaps that's how my brain works), so I am especially addicted to erotic stories and, more recently, sexting with people online.
I do not normally masturbate many times in a day, but my real problem is that I often edge for hours. What I noticed is that, when I do that, I am not interested at all in reaching orgasm, in fact that's the last thing I want. Instead, I just want to keep it going forever, theoretically. As I often do this at night (as it is the only time of the day I have the time to do it) I end up losing entire nights of sleep. This has gotten so bad I have had completely messed up sleeping patters for years (I have a flexible working schedule, so that makes it more difficult). In the worst cases I will only ever allow myself to cum when I am completely exhausted.
Switching from standard porn to sexting has made things definitely worse. I find that, because my arousal is dependent on other people (tho not in the way it would when you have sex), I am even less in control of my masturbation habits. For instance, I would start a session and then have to 'wait' hours because a given person I am sexting with stops talking temporarily for whatever reason, and then have to look for somebody else. Even worse, I have recently found myself masturbating on days when I had absolutely no physical desire to, simply because of receiving a certain message from somebody and thinking to myself that I could not waste such an opportunity. Of course, I realise how insane this is, but at the time it happens I just have no control over it.
Essentially I want to quit for all manners of reasons. This habit is affecting my sex life, my health, my work and life in general. I lost count of how many nights I stayed up, and then was unable to get anything done the day after because I would be way too tired. Also, I recently get pain in my pelvis after long edging sessions which I did not used to; I figure my body is telling me that it cannot cope anymore with this. Lastly, I know that if I was ever to get in a relationship again this would definitely be an issue.
My ideal goal would not be to quit masturbation entirely. I was raised catholic and have become, over the years, very wary of their all-or-nothing approach, as well as their demonisation of sexual activities. Although I understand why, to an addict, even a little of something can cause a full-on relapse, if I were to get over this addiction (which I am not very convinced of) I would not mind to have the occasional wank. When I was a young teen, before I started developing this addiction, I would masturbate roughly once every 4 days (absolutely no edging), and that seemed to work pretty well for me. I would definitely love to be able to have that level of self-control again, and it would most certainly be better than what I do now.
The idea of rebooting sounds great but, to me, it also sounds very very difficult. At the best of time I can go a max of 3 days without wanking, and that is normally considered an achievement. Also, I am not sure if I could give up sex for that long, if it were to happen (not that I have sex all that regularly anyway).
Sorry for the lengthy post and thanks for reading!