Addicts from a young age

Abbout 10+ years

 

My husband doesn’t like this forum but I can answer for him
He’s been addicted 40+ years. He was always a bit effeminate, foggy head, tired all the time, terrible memory, moody as hell, always angry.,
He had a friend killed in the line of duty in front of him, sent him into deep depression and escalated his porn use. He was 45, began experiencing pied, wanted to kill himself.
What finally made him stop? I found a site about betrayal trauma and porn addiction, showed him, told him I was leaving as soon as our youngest graduated but everything finally made sense about our relationship.we both finally understood he was an addict. He decided he absolutely could not continue the way he was. That was 4 years ago. He began recover that week. Went through terrible withdrawals, started seeing changes at 4-6 months. Pied disappeared. He no longer was exhausted all the time. At one year he relapsed for 4 months, exhaustion, pied, and moodiness came back during that time. He’s been clean a little over 2 years right now and he’s a completely different man.

 

I'm in my late 30s now. First exposed to P and M when I was 11. Someone in an AOL chat room (who said they were a girl around my age at the time but was likely a predator I know realize) sent me a link to P and told me how to M. I started becoming addicted to M'ing every time I took a bath. Started seeking out more P since I had a computer in my room. Also used my parents CC to buy P and got busted while I was still living at home. Also bought hundreds of dollars of P movies on the satellite. I had no idea really what addiction was or that I was but I already was before I turned 18 and it's especially gotten worse over the last 15 years..seems like every year is just worse.

I want to quit because I absolutely hate P and hate myself and hate that I can't stop. I hate that when I get urges I cannot control myself and the time I spend browsing and M. I also have ED due to my P and M and have more many years. i want to have a normal sex life. I want control of my life back. I suck at work because I work from home but spend most of my time on P and M. I want to better myself.

 

Exact sane as me except I'm in my 40s. common theme is addicted to porn at a young age. (I fear for this generation of kids and the level of addiction that will happen) it got so bad for me that I would ditch school just to stay home and watch a new porn movie or a new magazine

 

Addiction

 

Can you tell me how many years you have been addicted and what are the symptoms you experience as a result of being addicted to PMO?

-From the time I was old enough to walk into a shop and buy magazines (I bought a lot!), so about 25 years. It's impossible to say what I 'experienced' but maybe if I had no been so into porn I'd have had more luck with girls (but I also had self esteem issues so who knows).

What happened to your life that you decided to try to stop?

-Nothing except I realise I'm fapping over stuff I don't really like.

What did you suffer from?

-PMO use is linked to low moods for me but I have no comparative to say how things would have been different without it.

 

I first got addicted between the ages of 12 and 14, and I'm 35 now, so I was addicted for a little over 20 years. I've been recovering for 3.5 years now, and it's only in the last few months that I've been feeling like I'm almost free from this addiction. The past three years have been a hellish rollercoaster, and I'm so glad to finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I've only relapsed a few times in the last year, and I barely think about porn anymore. Every week that goes by, it seems like I leave more and more of my old self behind. Healing from something like this seems like it's going nowhere at first, but the gains you make are exponential. A lot of people get impatient during the first few months of NoFap, but once you start hitting milestones like six months or a year, you'll notice that your progress will gradually be speeding up. It's very similar to physical exercise in the sense that it feels like it's a perpetual uphill trudge when you first start, but it gets easier and easier as the weeks and months go by.

Don't lose hope; it can take a long time to rid yourself of this addiction if you were addicted for many years. And if you got addicted during adolescence when your brain was in a very malleable, impressionable phase, it can take even longer to reverse the damage the addiction did because your brain hardwires everything during crucial stages of development like adolescence. I have a feeling that this is why it took so long to rewire my brain.

No matter how bad the withdrawal symptoms get, you just have to persevere through them because what other choice is there? Yes, it's going to be a very difficult journey in some ways, but just think about how much of a relief it will be to finally get this monkey off your back once and for all. You also have to ask yourself this: what alternative is there? There are only two directions you can go from here: you can continue being an addict, or you can decide to work towards no longer being an addict. Only the latter will improve your existence; the former will do nothing but keep you shackled to this situation that you're in right now. By quitting PMO for good, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. That was the crossroads that I found myself at when I knew that I had to quit PMO for good, and I knew there was no way that I could continue down that same road that I had been on for two decades.

I know you can do this because I'm living proof that it's possible; I was a severe addict for a long time. Sometimes, it will be easy; other times, it will be immensely difficult. Recovery from an addiction isn't a straightforward, linear process; it fluctuates up and down. As you progress, however, the lows you experience will gradually get milder, and the highs you experience will get better. Then it will dawn on you one day that you haven't even thought about PMO for a few days. And then a month or two after that, you'll notice that you can go a whole week without thinking about it. Once you reach that stage, it just keeps getting easier and easier.

As for the physical symptoms, I actually made a long post a little over a year ago that addresses the physical symptoms in great detail. I'm going to refer you to that post with a direct link if you would like to read it. You might be able to gain some additional insight to get a better idea of what you're going through. The entire thread is full of very useful information if you have time to read through all five pages, and there are quite a few responses by one user named mentorr who is very knowledgeable about the recovery process.

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?t...s-and-downs-normal.315051/page-2#post-3098178

For me, the symptoms reduced considerably after about a year of abstinence, but they didn't completely resolve until my second year of NoFap. I don't think this will be the case for everyone, but I'm not surprised that it took me so long to overcome this because I first got addicted to PMO between ages 12 and 14, and I didn't quit until I was 32. So I was an addict for pretty much two decades, and I was edging multiple times a day for most of those years. A lot of users on here aren't quite as extreme as I was, but I have met a few who were, and their recovery process was very similar to mine.

I wish you the best of luck in your recovery! And if you ever need to message me for any kind of advice or support, I don't mind at all.

 

How many Years?
I was exposed at the age of 8 years old, so that would make it 21 years now.

What are the symptoms you experience as a result of being addicted to PMO?
Hard to exactly pinpoint as I have never been free. Best was 4 months, but I was going through a life crisis at the time, so I wasn't at my best regardless of the abstinence. I definitely have head fog, less now than when I was younger. I definitely experience a lack of focus, and especially motivation. Hardly anything gets a rouse out of me or inspires to even want to do it, except maybe making/getting food when I am hungry. I also have an extremely difficult time feeling attracted to women. The longer I am clean, the more that one wanes, but when I am regularly relapsing, the become nothing more than the background to me(as far as attraction goes. They're still human of course). Most definitely low confidence and an unspoken shame.

What happened to your life that you decided to try to stop?
I was raised in a religious environment, so I always felt that it was bad. That never stopped me from sinking into absolute addiction. What really shook me into trying to shake it was when I was in a relationship with a wonderful woman. She knew from the beginning, but as we had more discussions and I revealed more, she was still very hurt and shocked by what I had done and was doing. Even worse, I had said that I was trying to quit, but nothing truly was changing. That was still more hurtful to her. Then after 1.5 years of trying, she left me. That didn't go well for me. I was clean for 4 months after the break up, longest ever since I started. After that it's been a downward spiral, never being able to keep it out of my life for long. I am still trying today though trying new things still, and trying to go back to the old that worked.


What did you suffer from?
Mostly emotion. I had a lot of pent up anger that I was numbing myself from with PMO. Some saddness, some jealousy, some pride, some embarrassment. Before I wouldn't let myself really feel anything long enough to process it. I mean a break up of a long term relationship has plenty to process on its own, but I feel I really stunted the growth by turning back to PMO. I feel like I am better now, but I am still learning from the whole event everyday. I don't know if I will ever exhaust those lessons.

 

Was addicted to porn when I was 9 and have gone deep down the rabbit hole for 30 years. From mags, vids, internet non nude models to hardcore porn and still trying to survive

 

I been addicted for about 8 years going on 9 if I can't at least get 30 days in before my 20th birthday coming up soon

 

About 7 years

 

Your story is quite similar to mine...I discovered porn at 15 years old...To me until 10 years ago it was more or less normal to use it, although deep down I knew it was bad... Since I fully realized that it was causing me a lot of pain, separation came a year after that, and then things went from bad to worse...All hell broke loose on me since 9 years, so I continued as it was the only way for me to deal with this terrible pain I had inside... And no one to talk to or see, all my family being either passed away or very old now, and friends now matched so no time for me.... I was alone, going from jobs to jobs as consultant and then in regular jobs I didn't like...So I can understant how you feel.. I'm stuck in teleworking since 3 years, so I'm going haywire spending my whole days alone at home in a condo that now became real toxic to me...
I encourage you to hang on, just like I do... One day at a time....Try to go have a coffee at Starbucks if you like to go out and see people... I try to create ties with the staff at coffee shops where I go regularly... Staying alone is not a good idea, at least in my case... Try to do hobbies on a laptop that you can bring to the coffee shop...In my case I do photo editing and 2D models of trucks on computer... Keep your mind busy.... It might work for you too...

 

Im 42, and I have been consuming porn since I was 12. Back then it was only magazines, such as Playboys and similar.. Eventually, when I was 16, I got a windows 95 with AOL dial-up. Got access to online porn. Just jpeg pictures or 15 seconds movies. Eventually, when I got DSL and fiberglass, that's when I got access to all. And that's when my life started to be terrible. Although I had no idea why. Im again, trying to be PORN free.

 

I can quite relate to your life story... Freakin' porn.... What a mess this is causing to so many people...