After 2 years of extreme PAWS i'm starting to feel again...

D

Deleted Account

Guest
Guys this will be a very brief post....but... after two years of very intense paws i'm starting to feel again. My mind is becoming clearer & clearer, depression and anxiety levels dropped down dramatically and i'm starting to feel emotions and life again. This started to happen 2 weeks ago and since then it hasn't been very stable, i may feel good for a day or just a few hours and then back to paws (it happened 3 times in these two weeks which one of these was last night)...BUT...guys in these two years this never happened, it was a no stop hell for literally every day. Also the days where i feel good is not as good as before paws and all of this started but guys it's something! I think (or at least i hope) i'm finally moving to an end.
If this continues to improve and eventually become more stable i will write a post on it with absolutely more details (so please don't overwhelm me with questions), this post is just to give you guys hope and strenght to go through what i've gone through for 2 years that i know it's not easy.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I feel your pain brother as I'm still in PAWS close to 15 months harmode. It's quite shocking to see you still suffering after 2 years of paws. I don't wish mine to take 2 years but it seems it may take this long as recovery is slow and non linear.
 
Freeddom_Taker said:
I feel your pain brother as I'm still in PAWS close to 15 months harmode. It's quite shocking to see you still suffering after 2 years of paws. I don't wish mine to take 2 years but it seems it may take this long as recovery is slow and non linear.
Click to expand...
Man 15 months, it is quite impressive what you already accomplished, you must be proud of yourself! Just keep going it's the only way. Wish u all the strenght you need
 
Don Quixote said:
Excellent news!!! I've had PAWS for 3 years total now. First two years were sprinkled with major/minor relapses. 1 year no PMO and I've noticed improvement. WE are so deep down in the dark with this it's hard to know if you'll ever fully recover (since there is literally zero evidence). But here's to a life that can keep getting better!
Click to expand...
Wow 3 years....man take it very very seriously since it's like any other addiction (or even worse)!
 
PAWS is a bitch and probably the hardest obstacle on this journey. It's not as aggressive as a massive urge and not as likely to make you relapse in the moment, but unlike an urge it's always there, looming in the background. After a while it really starts to weigh on you. The lethargy, unexplainable anxiety and mood swings really hit hard for me. Especially the lethargy, some days I really feel like doing absolutely nothing.

I've been in proper recovery (i.e generally hitting streaks of >= 90 days, while my last streak was only 43 days it was my shortest all year by a large margin) for about a year now and trying to kick the habit for nearly two, and things are starting to get a lot better for me as well. I still have bad days where it feels like moving an arm takes more willpower than Thor, but they're getting rarer and rarer. I don't want to jinx it but I would say I only have a few days a month now where I feel truly terrible, and more than half the time I'm completely asymptomatic. I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we're getting close.

Good luck to you in your recovery man, this is one of the toughest fights of our lives but I know we can all do it if we put our minds to it - no matter how long it takes.
 
Don Quixote said:
Yes, 3 years, but keep in mind the first two years were shitty streaks of 20-30 maybe 50-60 days followed by mostly MO relapses or a P relapse or, more rarely, a PMO relapse, which made the symptoms of PAWS worse every time and the prospect of ever recovering more and more grim. This last year has been strict no PMO, and it's the first time I've started to see improvements to my emotional/mental health. Hopefully, by the end of next year, I'll have recovered that much more if not completely, but there is zero way of knowing because, like I said, we have no evidence, no science, and virtually nil accounts of full recovery for cases as bad as us. So, we literally just have to abstain + whatever "helps", cross our fingers, and have faith that God can deliver us from this hell, if he chooses.

Pray for your life, my brother! And don't lose hope!

P.S I hope to be one of those people that fully recovers, primarily for the sake of my own well-being, but secondarily for the sake of everyone else out here in this dark and horrible endless unknown. To keep going in this darkness for years on end, is to have a faith unlike any I'd ever dreamed of needing for my life. If I ever (fully) make it out of this hell, I vow to return and tell my tale, God willing.
Click to expand...
Yes i think the worse part of it it's not knowing. Not knowing for how long you will feel this way, if you would ever come back to normal and even if the way you feel it's related to porn or maybe it has completely other causes....and believe me (and if u have gone for 3 years under paws you already know) after all this time it's very very very easy to lose faith and get lost. This is why i wrote this post and i will write a more detailed one when (and if) i will be completely healed. We are pioneers in something completely new, as you said there is no science, no research and even no cases (or just a very few), only thing you can do is to keep going and find it out by yourself. Stay strong and i hope reading this helps.
 
tangoalfaromeodelta said:
PAWS is a bitch and probably the hardest obstacle on this journey. It's not as aggressive as a massive urge and not as likely to make you relapse in the moment, but unlike an urge it's always there, looming in the background. After a while it really starts to weigh on you. The lethargy, unexplainable anxiety and mood swings really hit hard for me. Especially the lethargy, some days I really feel like doing absolutely nothing.

I've been in proper recovery (i.e generally hitting streaks of >= 90 days, while my last streak was only 43 days it was my shortest all year by a large margin) for about a year now and trying to kick the habit for nearly two, and things are starting to get a lot better for me as well. I still have bad days where it feels like moving an arm takes more willpower than Thor, but they're getting rarer and rarer. I don't want to jinx it but I would say I only have a few days a month now where I feel truly terrible, and more than half the time I'm completely asymptomatic. I think there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we're getting close.

Good luck to you in your recovery man, this is one of the toughest fights of our lives but I know we can all do it if we put our minds to it - no matter how long it takes.
Click to expand...
Yes i know man and it's very touching this, i know exactly what you mean. I think it's really important this community not to lose faith and stay focused...fighting this together it's always better! It's hard but you have no choice than keep going! Good luck man!
 
when every hope is lost said:
Guys this will be a very brief post....but... after two years of very intense paws i'm starting to feel again. My mind is becoming clearer & clearer, depression and anxiety levels dropped down dramatically and i'm starting to feel emotions and life again. This started to happen 2 weeks ago and since then it hasn't been very stable, i may feel good for a day or just a few hours and then back to paws (it happened 3 times in these two weeks which one of these was last night)...BUT...guys in these two years this never happened, it was a no stop hell for literally every day. Also the days where i feel good is not as good as before paws and all of this started but guys it's something! I think (or at least i hope) i'm finally moving to an end.
If this continues to improve and eventually become more stable i will write a post on it with absolutely more details (so please don't overwhelm me with questions), this post is just to give you guys hope and strenght to go through what i've gone through for 2 years that i know it's not easy.
Click to expand...
Did you do hardmode for 2 years?
 
Camelon said:
Hell
That means that my streak is nothing
People suffer here for years
That"s very depressing.........
Click to expand...
No your streak it's something man, i can assure you! but porn addiction is something worse than what most people believe...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top