Almost 90 days completed! Should I M again?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Kurenai, Feb 2, 2018.

  1. Kurenai

    Kurenai Fapstronaut

    Pretty straightforward question. But here's my point.

    After 90 days, in with I did O (with a girl) around day 60 and 1 week ago, I noticed some changes. My biggest problem was ED, particularly I always needed physical stimuli to get erected. Now the situation is a little improved, but I'm still far from cured.
    Maybe I need other 3 months, or more.

    But I also feel like I need to get connected with my body again. That's why I'm considering go back to MO.
    Of course, I'd do it with some rules. Light touch, not too much, focus on feelings, not fantasizing about my fetishes (aka my favourites P genres). Maybe using lube, and not get off if flaccid (it happened to me some times.)

    Getting back to P or P-sub (I were using a lot of hentai comics before) is not an option.
    Don't worry about that.

    What do you think?
     
  2. GripLess

    GripLess Fapstronaut

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    Personal i think thats an invitation to relapse. I would suggest staying on the path your on. Find a female friend to help with getting back in touch with your body. The main goal is to return to being aroused by real women. If you go back to your hand your brain is going to revert to thinking that is the norm.
     
  3. Kurenai

    Kurenai Fapstronaut

    Well I did find a "female friend", but things are not going so well in that direction. Part of the problem is that she is not experienced in bed, she's quite passive and I don't like it. Also, I keep comparing her with my ex (and that's totally my fault, of course). But the main problem is me. In the last years I had some ED, but nothing really problematic. But with this girl I never had a 100% erection.
    The main problem is that we met up only 2 times, as she lives abroad, so there isn't the chance to do a proper rewire. I will met her in two weeks.

    Also, my goal was to do 90 days... And I did that!
    I don't know, I'm open for advice. After 90 days the prograssion was pretty slow, I really feel like I'm missing something.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2018
  4. I think your body needs more time to heal. To some people, 90 days isn't enough. I heard a guy took 6 months only to get off flatline.
     
  5. doido?

    doido? Fapstronaut

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    Why fapping ? Find that girl and fuck her again, isn't that better? I believe u gonna enjoy it more and u wont need to masturbate.
    Thats cool that u did a 90 days, u controled urself, got ur confidence, thats great! but if u gonna fap i'm sure u will become addicted again, i'm saying this because i experienced it, 90 days aren't enough imo to leave the addiction.
     
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  6. GripLess

    GripLess Fapstronaut

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    I would suggest trying to find a girl closer. Keep in mind that you dont have to have intercourse to get some benefit. Cuddling, making out and just spending time with her will all help.
     
  7. Kurenai

    Kurenai Fapstronaut

    Nope, as I said, never thought about going back to porn, don't worry. Just masturbation.

    More something like this:
    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/curing-ed-caused-by-death-grip.137811/

    Emh.. It doesn't make sense to dump a girl I like just to help me rebooting.
     
  8. The goal shouldn't be ''x'' days. It should be to function properly and have a healthy life where we can take responsibility and be the man we want to be. So for me it might be 2 years for, another one 2 months.

    I agree with the other fapstronouts, I see this a setback.
     
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  9. AlphaZ

    AlphaZ Fapstronaut

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    You are saying that this girl is bad in bed and if you really liked her you wouldn't be making it out as if she is not helping you with the whole rewiring process. The way I look at the whole 90 day challenge or reboot or whatever comes from something my dad used to say about milk which was about the expiry date. He would say "it's not like at 12:00:01am on the day if the expiry of milk a horrible bacterial begins to grow and then causes the milk to be off, each carton if milk is unique some will expire before and some afterwards potentially due to their surroundings.

    Alright it sounds like a bit of a stretch and idk why I thought about that but it makes sense. 90 days is simply a goal to reach which is a good indicator to say that the level of addiction you have is weakening and you are controlling your PMO habits not that they have disappeared. Some say that once you are addicted you can never be completely cured and a lot of people disagree.

    I think that going back to MO is a terrible mistake. And will only cause further problems later on down the track. Stick to women rather than your hand is the golden rule

    Also in terms of this girl that you like, who cares if she is inexperienced in bed. Play around with it, help her out and just talk it shouldn't be a big deal at all and I can't imagine that it would be that bad you have to tag a girl out for your own hand??

    Anyway, I respect you for asking the question on the forum and I hope that you are open for opinions and see what others have said that have experience or are simply here to help a brother out.

    Stay strong everyone! We must persevere!

    Zach
     
  10. Kurenai

    Kurenai Fapstronaut

    I never ever thought that I will be cured magically after 90 days. But my sensation now is that I'm missing something. I don't know. As you can see I'm not relapsing yet, but I have to admit I tried, yesterday, to get erected just by light touch, sensation and fantasies. It worked, but also cause I was really relaxed.
    I suffer from PIED and also anxiety in bed, which I seldom have with my last girlfriend. Now the first two attempts with this girl had been quite disappointing. Nothing tragic, but still... I don't know. Maybe I should spoke to her about PIED. I mention the P abstinence journey to explain the first not quite successful attempts, but not the whole thing.

    My thought is that if I M I can get in touch again with my body, and have a glimpse of what can happen with her.
    But yes, I'm open to advice, and as you can see for now I'm sticking with the reboot.

    @AlphaZ sorry I didn't get what do you mean about the girl... "to tag a girl out"? What it means? Also the first whole sentence... I can like a girl also if she is not so good in bed. Furthermore, we meet up just two times, it's too soon to say I don't really like her, or that she is really that bed... We have to try some more times to really connect, I think.

    Btw, if I have the chance to rewire with her, meeting her everyday, of course I would choose her. But this is not the case. And is bad for her that I'm not fully erected in her presence. Of course I explained that this is not her fault.

    Anyway, thank you all for your help.
     

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