American Beauty - Other Movies

Hey gang,
Just a quick question. I've referenced the movie American Beauty in a couple of threads. Now if you can't see movies with brief topless girl scenes, if they trigger you, you should probably pass. Although because if the content of the movie, and especially the incredible redemptive act at the end, I overcame any triggers. The movie itself is actually in a way about overcoming sexual triggers by seeing reality as it really is. The lessons and artistic approach this movie is astonishing. The story of Lester Burnham and his inappropriate attempt to consummate a flirtation with his daughter's hot friend. This craving for a much younger girl is part of a midlife crisis where Lester is doing what he pleases and is trying to re-capture his youth. This is the theme of my life . . . wanting to be 19 again, nailing the hottest girl in math class, the cute slut, the pouty popular girl. Being 40 is a vulnerable age, and it can involve a second adolescence - wanting to throw off all responsibility and follow your lust. This movie and others, like the Truman Show and Dead Poet's Society touch deeply on that theme of men or boys finding their place in a healthy way instead of being compulsive and consumed with lust, or fearful of life, or frozen and afraid to take risks. If you can get past the triggers, some movies are as sacred as scripture. . . . and now that I'm committed to freedom from these detrimental thoughts and behaviors these movie moments are like hearing the Arthurian Romances from the Middle Ages, which essentially told the same stories, but introduced the metaphor of the Grail. The Grail represents finding your own soul and all of it's cornucopia of energy and healing . .. it's all in you. We all go through quest and ordeals to get it . . . but that's our calling. The Sirens on the seashore will seduce us, but we have good reasons remain strong and push into our inheritance. Don't refuse your call, it may not come again. Look up, listen, it's nobility, it's the joy of being fully awake.

 

This is a good reminder for me. I always knew I'm built to notice beautiful girls and women, there's no use stuffing that down, it will just come back with a Freudian vengeance. But I don't have to A. ogle to the point of embarrassment, or B. allow this lust to control me to the point of needing to masturbate. As I've heard another guy say "You can't stop the birds from flying over your head, but you ought to be able to stop them from building a nest in your hair". Difference between a thought and an obsession.

I only recognized "The Science of Sleep", "Annie Hall" and "Papillion" . . . I wouldn't think of Papillion as a movie about sexual tension or obsession, although it is about aging and freedom. I love the end of Papillion . . . he looks up to the Heavens from his coconut raft and says to God "I'm still here".

 

Can you explain more what you mean? Do you mean never had sex? I hate to make a pricey suggestion, but flying to Reno would be one remedy.

 

Well I think it was all kinds of inappropriate. This is a friend of his daughter and he's having a midlife crisis over her. The tenderness of his response occured at the realization that she was a virgin. ("This is my first time") and he turns . . . is it the role of a middle aged horny man to use a young girl who's insecure and uncertain about herself for a moment of sexual satisfaction. It's incredibly selfish and it's not like they're going to become lovers. . . . he's married. His role is to be a kind of father/protector figure for her like he would be for his own daughter. She'll lose her virginity to somebody her own age, or maybe an older single man who cares about her and is not a father figure . . . also, he owes it to his daughter not to shag her friends . . . she would hate him forever and that would breech any relationship he might be hoping for with her. He misses his daughter and that wouldn't help matters. The whole story of transformation is told in his face when he realizes how misguided he is and he stops. I think it's the redemption right before the death and long moment of passing on to the next life. . . . well, that's my take any way. I also loved the complexity of both the Fitts men. I'm just glad to run into somebody who loves the movie!!

 

I totally agree! This is the perspective I try to adopt. And yes, every interpretation or perspective is valid. IMHO a good movie, a great one, one that qualifies as art, is like a Rorschach test. What ever is in you gets projected onto the movie, or one particular scene. I've had some lively discussion about what the writer intended vs. what the viewer got from watching.

Hmmm . . . I don't recall mentioning who was the assailant, and I went back to re-read. All I saw was I said "The Fitts men were complex". Was it somebody else? The fact that he dies is not a spoiler because he says he'll be dead in a month in the first scene of the movie. ;-)

 

That's exactly the way I look at it . . . we're not watching Porky's shower scene here. I just don't get stimulated in my libido with things that are emerging as part of of a really engaging story. I remember it, and it can give me a second or two of "wow" admiration, but I'm quickly back into the story. But I totally understand that this just doesn't work for everybody. That's why a head's up is good, then people can make up their own mind.

 

Regarding Main Stream Movie Sexual Triggers (I'm coining a new acronym - MSMST )
It seems like this is a precise parallel to what I hear in AA meetings all the time. Some alcoholics can't go to bars or parties (especially at the beginning of their sobriety) because it's just too stimulating, some can't even walk down the liquor aisle at the grocery store. Others, like me, it's being home alone that triggers the Hell out of me. And as we say in my group, "It's your program, listen to your conscience and be true to yourself - if you're looking to relapse, you'll find a reason. If you're looking for strength and support, you seek that out". It's not "one size fits all". But regarding DEV-abc's point about "potential triggers everywhere", I agree. All you have to do is walk in a Starbuck's (which I just did) and there's 3 blonde college girls in there in Yoga pants . . . . come on man. These eyes need to learn to pause, admire, then find something else to look at. Usually my smart phone!!

 

Freakin' LOVE this . . . thank you man!!!

 

I like animation, especially current stuff. Since my kids were growing up in the golden era of computer animation, I grew to love all the Pixar and Dream Works movies . . . Toy Story 2, I can barely watch without crying like a baby. Shrek . . . Boo Yah . . . L'dMAO. But a more serious tone would be fine too. Have you heard about this? I'm guessing you like Charlie Kauffman . . . (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRqKieJzCeo

 

The popcorn junk movies that Hollywood grinds out make us lazy. The truly thoughtful art pieces I can't live without. They do what the great mythologies, Arthurian tales of quest, and most powerful literature did before them. Feed our souls in ways that didactic lessons and rational discussions just can't. Visual art carries you through doors to places that are inaccessible any other way.