Can someone help me understand the problem?

U have to understand what fantasy is. It's not real only fantasy. If u have these thoughts regularly than go see a psychologist. They are just like dreams and movies. They shouldn’t come in real life. First stay away from these fantasies, u must live a normal life. Sexual fantasies are common and they all lead to orgasm and m.

 

You don't have to act on every thought that comes into your head and it seems like you're not which is a good thing. In her book Emotional Agility, Susan David writes about how we should imagine ourselves as secretaries and our thoughts as emails for our boss. What a secretary does is they let their boss read the emails they consider to be important and delete the ones that aren't. So delete the thoughts you don't want and keep the ones you do. One thing you could do that might help you achieve this is practising the noting technique. Doing mindful meditation might help with the noting technique.

 

It's also in our instincts to have a fight-or-flight response to stressful situations or be racist but such instincts aren't good for us or society. Some desires are bad and shouldn't be acted on. Something being consensual is a slippery slope because it may appear to be there is consent when there's not. That is why you have an organisation like We Can’t Consent To This. I say the only time you should use violence against a woman is if she starts to aggressively physically attack you and even then there should be some restraint since the average woman isn't as physically strong as the average man.

 

Judging won't help anything. I highly suggest getting into therapy, specifically a CSAT therapist. You will learn so much about this addiction as well as yourself! I've been in CSAT therapy for several years now and have never regretted it! You get out of it what you put into it, so again, I highly recommend you go and get deep and honest with your therapist.

 

Fantasy is there because you are used to do them and feel them doable etc. They are actually an effect of a cause. Remove the cause and the effect is gone. For example if you have a fantasy and you amuse yourself in the same way. But if you consider to not get amused, you would not think about fantasy as it is rather a fantasy that is also "underrated or something less to feel like your own feeling" as I mentioned that u no more wish to amuse urself to get that thing.
Take another example of a man who has a fantasy to go to the Mars and do all that expedition but he would not be able to react so, practically because it is not that easy or possible, so he would not get that sad to not being able to get to the Mars because he know that the effect of this Cause (wish) is not possible or he know it is too difficult to become an astronaut or he may not wish to get into a tin (*space suit) so he would not become hyper excited about his wish or desire or fantasy.
You can relate your condition or thinking with this. Thought and fantasy can be in any mind but the perception or the attitude or approach of a person after having that thought makes the difference like he or she would say, "Although it is hyper sensual and horny but it is not me who is gonna get amused"
Please reply, if this is helpful and you got the idea I want to convey?
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