Can you predict your next urge? (Poll inside)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by NewPaths, Dec 8, 2022.

When you do typically experience the urge to watch porn?

  1. In the morning

    25.8%
  2. Throughout the day

    25.8%
  3. In the evening / at nighttime

    61.3%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. I think my next plan when the urge hits, I will get off the internet and do something else like meditation or self-reflection maybe even try to get some exercise in or practice guitar, I don't know exactly what it is but there is something about playing guitar that completely kills my urge to masturbate to porn for some reason.
     
    Jeff_444 and NewPaths like this.
  2. NewPaths

    NewPaths Fapstronaut

    155
    209
    43
    That's great Virtual_Alpen_Grenadier! Sounds like you have a plan that actually works. Make that your go-to. Make the urge your catalyst for going into meditation and guitar-playing mode.
     
  3. NewPaths

    NewPaths Fapstronaut

    155
    209
    43
    I really appreciate everyone's answers and everyone sharing. I've found it very helpful to plan and prepare in advance, because again, this struggle is fairly predictable. How many times, when you've given into the urge to watch porn, was a situation you've been in before, and probably could've predicted it in advance? Not every time, but the vast majority of times?

    Maybe, there is a lot of power in being able to predict when we feel the urge. Maybe you know that, tonight, or tomorrow morning when you wake up, or this afternoon, that familiar craving will hit you.

    How often do we plan in advance for this predictable sequence of events? And if we do, and the plan doesn't give us the success we want, how often do we come up with a NEW plan for next time?

    I'm speaking for myself, and what I did for over 20 years. I can't tell you how many times I said I would "phone a friend," or text someone, and either never did, or just watched porn shortly after I got off the phone.

    And for years, I never came up with anything better.

    Like many things in our lives, there are repeatable patterns. And I've found that there is a lot of power in getting ahead of the pattern, coming up with a plan for it in advance, and then taking one minute to mentally rehearse that plan in advance.

    And then, if the plan does not give you the success you are looking for, or if it just doesn't seem to resonate with you, come up with a different, but clear plan to try next time, and mentally rehearse that one.

    So let's go! When will YOU likely feel the urge next, and what is the plan you are going to try when that urge hits you?
     
    SuperBaowi likes this.
  4. LostSon41

    LostSon41 Fapstronaut

    Over the last 2 years I've been able to figure out exactly what causes a major relapse for me. It's not a single urge which causes things for me. It all starts with myself becoming too comfortable and lose focus on the long-term mission which is rewiring my brain. I then allow myself to look at things that aren't too bad, like staring and lingering on photos/videos of pretty girls or sex-related jokes/content. Twitter and reddit posts, random snapchat stories/ads, instagram photos. Even Google search images. This builds up over time. The process of my streak-ending relapses starts days before relapse happens. Even weeks. Eventually I look back at the time I've wasted and the progress I've delayed by mindlessly looking at sub-X rated content. Then I just straight up give up. I also tend to binge coming off a nice long streak. My urge prevention plans weren't strong enough, but now I have a plan.

    My plan is to identify and seek out any weak points in my recovery plan, checking in everyday. When urges become powerful, I need to figure out why they happen. Are my days not busy enough? Are my rules too flexible? Am I allowing a large amount of slip-ups? Am I giving control to my primal urges? In my reboot journal I added a new rule today which is no usage of social media with the exception of Youtube. I might drop the rule once I make it long enough without PMO, but it would have to be like 6 months. My streak is decent right now but I have a long journey to go. Urge prevention is in my opinion one of the ultimate methods to success.
     
    KevinesKay and NewPaths like this.
  5. Erased my OKCupid from phone since it triggers me alot (will use only web version so it'll be during daytime) + downloaded XBlocker again.
    Those blocking app are far from perfect but maybe some reminder before engaging will do.
     
    NewPaths likes this.
  6. NewPaths

    NewPaths Fapstronaut

    155
    209
    43
    That's really insightful. The gradual downward slope, which can last days, of letting up our guard, as you said. Thanks for sharing!

    I also liked how you mentioned checking in everyday. What does that look like for you? How you personally check in?
     
  7. NewPaths

    NewPaths Fapstronaut

    155
    209
    43
    Nice man! Definitely, any consistent roadblocks that you can put in place are very helpful, I definitely agree!
     
    SuperBaowi likes this.
  8. LostSon41

    LostSon41 Fapstronaut

    I just meant logging into this website everyday. However, I'm not gonna try and depend on this site to prevent myself from watching porn, the goal is that I can gradually use it less and less. Once I hit 35 days I'm only gonna log in once or twice a week.
     
    NewPaths likes this.
  9. NewPaths

    NewPaths Fapstronaut

    155
    209
    43
    Nice man, keep us posted on your progress and whether you are seeing success with your plan. You got this!
     
  10. ArthurDutch

    ArthurDutch Fapstronaut

    155
    104
    28
    I dont get the urge to watch porn and if I do my blocker save me, but something else. I looked up to some twitter accounts when I was relapsing all over the place (many months ago) which were 18+ but i didn't follow anyome just saw what was inside, nowadays I m getting emails, u know the emails of recent accounts u saw, and u can see the exact tweet be it a pic or video, and I couldn't help myself but click on it, only to get fixated for quite some minutes,I can really assess now that the novelty seeking nature of my brain is acting strongly.. I have deleted all those emails and turned the twitter email function off.
    Its not just the pornstars who can get u on relapse, but simply any girl with kinky mind can(online) ...
    Take this as a reminder not to search any kinky things on social media because they do come back in many forms.
     
    paul2568 and NewPaths like this.
  11. NewPaths

    NewPaths Fapstronaut

    155
    209
    43
    ArthurDutch, thanks for sharing! That is very insightful what you said, "I can really assess now that the novelty seeking nature of my brain is acting strongly." That is so true. Our brains want that shot of dopamine when we get that email, or see that pic or video, or scroll down just a little further.

    And unfortunately, the social media companies know this, and design their apps and sites to tap into that part of our brains. We definitely don't have technology on our side when it comes to pursuing freedom, healing, and wholeness.

    I admire you that you noticed this was becoming an issue and took decisive action. Huge high five to you! No social media app is worth it if it hinders your progress towards freedom. Great work, and keep taking steps forward!
     
    ArthurDutch and paul2568 like this.
  12. LostSon41

    LostSon41 Fapstronaut

    Just letting y'all know I had my first legitimate urges a few days ago, but they haven't happened since. They were also pretty easy to deal with because I don't have enough fresh nudity in my brain to give in to. They occurred when I was sitting on my ass for a couple hours bored from doing homework. I have either been working, with family, at the gym, or with friends ever since, I haven't even thought about porn since Monday morning. I'm noticing a pattern...
     
    paul2568 likes this.