Cause for escalation to unnatural P?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Mikesharkd341, Jul 22, 2018.

  1. Mikesharkd341

    Mikesharkd341 Fapstronaut

    As I say in my older posts, I've felt straight my entire life as far back as I try to remember, had crushes on girls and that kind of stuff. A few years back I somehow got into borderline gay and bi cartoons of P, slowly escalating to images of the same sex, during this entire time, using gay P, I haven't felt gay and I still had the same attraction to girls irl, I just didn't take into question what I was doing or did it align with my true self, but going back 2 months ago, a lot of anxiety and isolation caused me to think about my habits and have I been gay this entire time. I started looking at guys seeing if I got attracted to any, but for the most part I didn't.
    Going to my title, why is it that a lot of people here that used porn for a very long time never escalated their addiction to gay p, but a few I've read about who struggle with Hocd including me, did?
    Is it just coincidental that we stumbled on our scrolling through porn on the internet, or is there a tendency in some people to progress through genres faster than others?
    Any of your thoughts about hocd and porn escalation are welcome.
    thorswrath32 likes this.
  2. For many it has more to do with escalation, the need to find something more shocking or wild or out of your normal. If you are not attracted in real situations it is not real.
    thorswrath32 and Arnuld like this.
  3. Arnuld

    Arnuld Fapstronaut

    This is one of the worst things about Porn addiction. You can find yourself being attracted to things in porn that you are absolutely not into in reality. And this dichotomy can really mess with you head and amplify your shame.
  4. Mikesharkd341

    Mikesharkd341 Fapstronaut

    It's painstaking and confusing to go through this condition, but I hope with removing porn for a long time I could come back to my old self.

    I also noticed that in real situations, like hanging out with girls or noticing pretty girls would give me a boner before all this and I could get hard easily, but now when I hang out with girls I think I am attracted to them I would like to spend time with a girlfriend and I can imagine sex with a girl, but i can only get a very weak erection, whereas if I think about gay fantasies I could get a boner easily, this is the hardest thing thats eating me right now and whenever these fantasies pop up in my head its usually when I see or hear anything gay related, but I try to push them out of my head and I start panicking and feeling bad, and I just get in a non stop circle where I become real sad on the inside and just want this to go away. Is this a porn related issue as well, where my real libido is gone, or is it something else entirely?

    Sorry for the long replies but I just need some reassurance right now after noticing I couldnt get hard with girls around and I felt bad all the time cause I couldnt.

    Thanks in advance.
  5. thorswrath32

    thorswrath32 Fapstronaut

    The porn we watch doesn't always accurately relate to our true sexuality since much of it is hyper sexualised and a bit over the top when you actualy compare it to regular every day sex. A lot of people, myself included, went through a prolonged period of desensitisation where your personal barriers, whether they be moral or ethical or something else start to errode the longer you engage in PMO and what used to shock you no longer has the same effect. It's why people can end up viewing illegal material as well as stuff that doesn't resonate with their true sexual nature. If you are gay then you will know if you stop viewing hardcore porn and any porn and notice after the months pass how you view those around you.

    Before the advent of online porn and print media, we used to use social cues and other real life things to help us gauge our level of attraction to whoever or whatever but these days we are bombarded with other peoples fantasies pushed onto us through pornography, they may start to become our own due to exposure but when you take away the porn it is surprising how your view of sex, love and intimacy changes
    Hitto, Arnuld and Tiger uppercut! like this.
  6. Mikesharkd341

    Mikesharkd341 Fapstronaut

    Thanks for the replies.
    Thor, what you said about if you are gay you will know after quitting porn for months, this is what eats at me the most, this doubt and fear that after time passes, instead of returning to how Ive known myself to be for my entire life - straight, I will somehow find out that Ive actually been gay. And this is the biggest fear I have, not the actual thoughts I currently have. I do not know how to get rid of this fear.

  7. Tiger uppercut!

    Tiger uppercut! NoFap Moderator
    Staff Member

    My Journal
    You’re straight, bro. If you’ve never had romantic feelings or a crush on a dude then you are straight. All this is porn induced. It’s evil stuff. Stop now.
    Hitto and Arnuld like this.
  8. Dr.Shilo

    Dr.Shilo Fapstronaut

    Same sex attraction is very common in long term pornography use. As you rid your life of pornography, this attraction will also disappear over time. Don't get worried or psych yourself out. Whereas any time you encounter porn again in the future this same-sex attraction might come back, so long as you abstain from porn, you will notice that this attraction was only due to your addiction and not your actual self
    Hitto, Arnuld and Tiger uppercut! like this.
  9. RangoDango

    RangoDango Fapstronaut

    To the thing with the people with hocd and not escalating to gay porn (maybe even shemale)for me I knew I was never gay so I never looked it up I’ve have stumbled upon gay porn in the past and after 5 seconds of watching it and find out it was gay porn I exited out of it same sex fantasy’s don’t give the rush that just girls alone gives me has anyone here ran into any gay people that have escalated to straight porn if that’s even a thing?also does anyone think that pmoing can take away your attraction from real life girls cause for the past year with my hocd I’ve been feeling very asexual and some days feeling gay (usually when my hocd is really getting to me and making me doubt a lot)
  10. Catondo\

    Catondo\ Fapstronaut

    I don't know. I escalated pretty much into everything, even trans. Never loked gay tho, if they are man at least they have to look feminine.
    And even that it was a question of shock because I was a little disgusted.
  11. aldebr

    aldebr Fapstronaut

    Hey, going through a similar ordeal myself. I've been to a psychotherapist and a psychologist and neither seem to think I'm gay, though I'm not quite convinced myself. Both therapists did emphasise that I need to remove porn from my life (which has been a lot harder than I thought).
    For what it's worth, my focus is on not watching porn today, and I'll have the same focus tomorrow and on and on. If I can go without it today then there's no good reason that I can't go without it tomorrow.
    As for my sexuality, I'm trying to stop figuring it out in my head and instead just telling myself that whether straight, gay or bi, I should have a much better idea once porn is no longer a factor.
    So I would suggest that for right now, focus more on not watching porn and I'm time everything else will take care of itself.
    Best of luck, I hope things work out for you.
  12. Yes. And it escalates to not just genres. To 'hentai' cartoons. Mass orgies. Violent/rough (= totally unnatural or healthy) act. Zoolophilia. Pedophilia. Murder videos...corpses...all carnality.

    The reason for this is simple. Sex idea is an instinct. Like fear. It is subconsciouss. So because the subconsciouss has no discernment/wakefullness, if let loose it really goes far...

    Just like you do discipline the 'normal' sex instinct in public so all expressions of this instinct (and all instincts, for the matter) are disciplined in a civilised and intellectually/spiritually developed society of evolved creatures.
    Arnuld likes this.
  13. RangoDango

    RangoDango Fapstronaut

    That’s good thing that you are just waiting to find out who you are people with hocd always want certain that they are straight but you need to just say who cares I’ll find out who I am when the time comes I’d say live with that

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