Celibacy – Embrace being single

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by FormerFapaholic, Jan 20, 2018.

  1. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

    AS seen with many posts about loneliness – believe you and me, I have felt rather shitty about being lonely – and had a right downer over being single on numerous occasions.

    Given the time I have gained more clarity the longer I have done NoFap. Sure, we have days where things are hunky dory, and others that have been difficult. But that’s life in general, we have our good days and we have our bad ones. Slowly, but surely, there has been a change of mindset over time too.

    The more I focus on improving me and my life. I’ve become less inclined, and not as bothered about having a girlfriend right now. It doesn’t really matter, and isn’t the be all and end all. The problem is that there is a stigma attached to being single. That is somewhat seen as some social plague. Blame society and the media for enforcing and influencing our thoughts and views on this.

    While we all would love to have that special someone. Don’t get me wrong, I do. But Being single though, does have its perks and here’s some of them:

    It’s OK to be selfish

    One BIG plus of being single, is that I can afford to be selfish. Put myself first without ever feeling guilty, and not having to make any compromises. Simply because there’s not got going to be other people I’ll have to consider or spare thoughts for.

    More time for ME

    With being single. I’ll have more time freed up for me. Which gives me endless opportunities. Such as focusing on improving yourself and your life. A chance for growth and development in one’s self. Examples include: going travelling, taking up a hobby, studying a course at college or university. The list goes on…

    More freedom

    I have been in awe and envied people my age who have got a partner and had their kids young. But the upside to me being single and not being a parent (in my late 20s), is that I don’t have as many – if any – commitments and responsibilities. My options are still open. Call me selfish, but I’m glad I’m not being burdened with the baggage at this moment in time.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to settle down and have children in the future. I’m not ready for that now. I’m still young and time is on my side to get out there, do things and live my life. If that isn’t one advantage to being single. Then I don’t know what is.

    Valuing ME

    Just because I'm single doesn’t mean that I'm not worthless. Look at it this way, being single means that I am more likely to have standards and at least some self-respect. It’s just that I'm not just going to go with anyone because I'm desperate and lonely. I obviously value myself, and that compatibility is more important to me when it comes to relationships.
    Last edited: Jan 21, 2018
  2. BlackVelvet

    BlackVelvet Fapstronaut

    This is a really good way to think about it. Being single isn't really as bad as a lot of people think it is.
    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  3. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    >tfw you go out to a restaurant to eat by yourself.

    Waiter:"Table for one"?
  4. kayesem

    kayesem Fapstronaut

    Well said.

    Learning to love, appreciate, be at peace with and take care for yourself as you are, while also working on improving what you can for the sake of good health and well being.

    Others tend to perceive how you treat yourself and treat you in a similar way accordingly.

    I feel the same.

    We are all born whole and from the combination of male and female. Reconnecting with that wholeness is a wonderful process and takes the pressure off depending on others for that sense of completion we all search for. To know it is within and to go about finding it there is a wonderful thing.

    Celibacy can go fuck itself, I am human after all, but the more I embrace being single, the better I seem to be able to manage it. I find myself reverting back to a playful, child-like, couldn't give a fuck attitude and that beats sad and lonely desperation any day. It does seem to become easier over time, and is better than rushing into an unhealthy relationship chasing quick thrills.
    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  5. Runtilmylegsdropoff

    Runtilmylegsdropoff Fapstronaut

    Learning to love yourself... it is the greatest love of all...
    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  6. dragonslayer

    dragonslayer Fapstronaut

    If you are not being you should or want to be when with someone, then it's better to be single.
    I've had first hand experience of that.

    Sometimes we gotta step back to see the bigger picture and being single for a while is not so bad after all.
    FormerFapaholic likes this.
  7. "I'm never gonna drink again,
    I'm never gonna smoke again,
    and I'm gonna start tomorrow...
    I'm gonna be my own best friend,
    This time it's not pretend,
    and I'm gonna start tomorrow..."
    - From a song I like, Wax

    The whole concept of always leaving things for the next day is really scary. About time that we be our own best friends!
    kayesem and FormerFapaholic like this.
  8. TheColors

    TheColors New Fapstronaut

    I dedicate my life now to Brahmacharya.

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