confused, anxious and guilty.

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Grow_out_of_it, Feb 19, 2017.

  1. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

    495
    5,258
    123
    It has been a week since I have joined the forum and i have successfully completed my first week of no pmo and I'm really proud of myself and all the credit goes to all the people that I came across here who showed me the right path.
    2 days back I was in my class sitting beside my classmate and i was on the forum reading a post and he saw it and asked me about it and but i was afraid to tell him about it by the fear that he will judge me and will mock me. But after that I gave it a thought and I was wondering why should I be afraid of it if I'm trying to improve myself.
    Since then I have been thinking about it and Im kind confused and so I thought of posting it so I can free my mind from this.
    Some people might find this idotic of me to post this but I couldn't stop thinking about it and so I thought of writing it down.
    Anyone who read this thought that this was a wasteful post I would like to aplogize them and everyone who read this thank you for reading it.
    Also if anyone else came across such similar situation I would love if they would share it with me it would make feel good if I could relate to someone and I would highly appreciate it.
     
  2. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    I don't have the energy required to answer this properly but I'm glad you made a week and were shown the right path.
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  3. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    I suppose I can offer this at least, it gets better and then it gets worse and then it gets better the longer into your reboot you get if you can stick it out like a champ sport.
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  4. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
  5. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

    495
    5,258
    123
    Thank you for the posititve comment.
     
  6. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    Ya no post is wasteful even if no one has an answer it is good to process your thoughts out here on a forum. Even if no one was reading just the act of typing out your thoughts is a useful reason to make a thread on a forum of this nature.
     
  7. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    Oh and I hope someone offers more in depth advice hopefully :)
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  8. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    Do you watch YouTube or use Facebook?
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  9. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

    495
    5,258
    123
    Thank you for sharing this video.
     
  10. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
  11. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

    495
    5,258
    123
    I do watch youtube.
     
  12. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    Have you watch any of the Prince's videos? Prince Ea that is.
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  13. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

    495
    5,258
    123
    Yeah I have his video about education system it went viral. But not a lot of videos.
     
  14. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    Whenever you feel nervous watch one of his videos they have helped me. Take it or leave it buddy I wish you success in your journey :D

    [​IMG]
    Prince Ea

    Oops sorry for the weird numbering format my mouse battery died the other day.
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  15. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    Nevermind the numbers didn't post. Feed your consciousness with positive content and don't fear your friends. BE BOLD, TELL THEM WHAT YOU ARE DOING ONLINE HERE.
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  16. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

    495
    5,258
    123
    Thanks for your constant and immediate response I cannot explain how useful this was people like you are the reason I could complete my 1 week of no pmo. Thanks a lot means a lot to me. Efforts are highly appreciated.
     
  17. Sekhmet the Fury Bringer

    Sekhmet the Fury Bringer Fapstronaut

    470
    377
    63
    Help is all over the place here man.
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  18. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

    495
    5,258
    123
    I within a weeks time I'll be confident enough to tell them what I'm doing.
     
  19. PostiveChange1974

    PostiveChange1974 Fapstronaut

    413
    469
    63
    So many thoughts here....

    First. You don't owe an explanation of your sexuality or your challenges to anyone. You don't have to be ashamed or feel isolated, but you don't have to allow yourself to be vulnerable either. There is no right and wrong in sexuality. The only wrong, are those things that harm you or others, and those things that lead you to feel compelled even though you don't want to, and have no enjoyment for. Unfortunately, despite the prevalence, of porn and sexual material, it's still not entirely 'mainstream' to have enlightened discussions of sexual identity, and objects of arousal without possibly receiving judgment, negativity, and criticism. In short, just because you do NoFap doesn't mean you have to sign up to be an advocate for it.

    Next, if you do think you can have a conversation without being vulnerable, then you would find that many out that share your exact challenges. You are far from alone. Masturbation is a healthy way to learn your body, and how to achieve fulfillment. Porn is so freely available, that many have seen it without even having to go looking. Both are extremely common activities that you may share with your neighbor, and there are ways to talk about it with more sensitive approaches so not to automatically be assumed as crude and vulgar. Of course, timing and context is important (probably don't want to be discussing this at a friends 15 year old sisters birthday party).

    Finally, you don't have to defend NoFap. It stands on its own. It is a personal choice, and something that people have to want to try for it to reap any benefits.

    - as sub points if you decide to defend NoFap.... (Many will argue these points, and there is a chance I didn't phrase them right, but it's up to you to research and decide).

    Con: It is important to note that there is much religious motivation to the messages supporting NoFap. If that is your goal great, just be aware that it may not be others. Many of the messages you see stated out there as 'fact' are only people of religion trying to 'win' their war on porn.
    vs.
    Pro: NoFap isn't inherently religious. It's a loose foundation, where you do not have to have faith to use it. Many non-religious people see results. NoFap has a stated 'not against porn' agenda, where you are free to make your choice, but the NoFap idea doesn't officially advocate ending porn. In short, despite the many religious sites out there with their own statement of 'fact', NoFap stands alone, and doesn't require their support to be 'real'.

    Con: NoFap talks alot about brain chemistry. With 'dopamine' being the mystery ingredient forming an addiction. Unfortunately, the studies that have been conducted to 'prove this' are few, without peer review, and often discovered to have had religious bias.
    vs.
    Pro: There doesn't have to be a 'brain chemistry' explanation for there to be an emotional impact, and stresses in your life that Porn creates by giving you a overly stimulating avenue to escape addressing life issues, and relationship problems. Sugar isn't a 'drug' either, but it can become a component in eating disorders, and hard to swear off. (Neurosciences speak or not, it doesn't make the challenges any less real, or the solutions any less valid). In short, you are not just the sum of your chemical processes, but also your emotional & intellectual being. You don't have to dis-empower yourself by using the term 'addiction', before you realize there is an issue that you want to address, and to take action.

    Con: advocates of NoFap can oversimplify issues, and often the message of 90days being oversold as a cure. The truth is that 90 days doesn't represent a true point where anyone might 'be healed'.
    vs
    Pro: Yes, there are many contributing factors to sexual and mental health. But the simplicity of NoFap is that it doesn't conflict with any other efforts or treatment plans. It's not marketing anything, or telling you not to use any other techniques. It doesn't offer placebo drugs, and requires no money at all. It's not harmful in any way, other than challenging a persons impulse control, with a positive message that if you have to restart, that is ok and don't be stressed about it. Yes, the 90 days is just an arbitrary number. This is because despite what people might infer in their excitement, it's meant to give you a chance to filter out the variable of porn, and pause to let your sexual function recover from depletion and vulnerability you feel from it. It's just a period to let you test afterwards how your body responds 'without' those factors. While 90 days is arbitrary, many don't recover immediately, and need longer than a few weeks to see measurable results. So 'no', while 90 days isn't a cure, the number of days is your own choice and only important that it be sufficiently long to allow to give restoration a chance, and the goal is only gain self awareness to decide what choices to make going forward (like masturbation with out porn, or partner sex only). People that aren't committed to 90 days, may find it easier to do 30, results may be visible at that point.

    There are other pros vs cons... but these are the ones I've wrestled with.
     
    Grow_out_of_it likes this.
  20. Grow_out_of_it

    Grow_out_of_it Fapstronaut

    495
    5,258
    123
    Thank you for the wise words sir I really feel better after reading it. I really appreciate it. This no PMO week has been good for me and I hope the same continues for the rest of my life. I dont have the right words to express my appreciation towards you but I hope you get it.:):)
     

Share This Page