Damn I'm lonely as hell

There should be a yearly , non denominational mix and mingle event.
If they can put on huge conferences for missions or the like, it's possible to put on an event for singles with similar values to mingle. Have it be around serving the needy. Or urban missions. Or mentoring kids.

Actually, it just sounds like the best way is to maybe go to those big missions conferences lol

 

I also feel this, Being open to someone feels so dangerous to me, I feel like that person will backstab me If i try to be her friend or something, probably has to do with the way I grew up, My dad is a narc and abusive, he is a major enemy, my mom is an enabler.

But what we feel can be simply explained throught this: Discomfort. We feel it very much while in social settings, but ultimately there is no danger, we can hold our own, soon enough, the discomfort subsides.

 

I’m not so sure it should be non-denominational, but I am sure that most churches don’t do enough or do an awful job of creating an environment that encourages Christian men and Christian women of getting together, and yet when that Christian man or woman goes outside the faith and gets with a non-believer, the church is the first one to preach against and condemn it. Smh

 

My conclusion: The world is so overpopulated that nature finding a way to control it. Meaning that men will start to have kids in their 60's and women in their 40's. Also more people live longer. The world is changing and evolving decades by decades. Either adapt to survive or perish...

 

You sound just like me. Objectively a pretty good guy but with cripplingly low levels of self-confidence. All I can really advise is to keep chipping away and put yourself in those situations where you're afraid until you stop feeling that fear. Now excuse me while I go ahead and don't follow my own advice...

 

Totally understand how you feel. I've come to a point where I just accepted reality and that "the one" might not be out there, and if I find someone I'd cherish them more since my expectations for others are low. I grew up in church and while I still hold strong to my beliefs, and have been growing more in understanding outside of church (surprisingly) I've had pretty negative experiences in church where I felt like an outcast, just like in school. I say that to say, I saw some of the discussion on church courtship culture, and church now is pretty much another clique/social club. I hate to repeat the same thing we all cringe at hearing but it's all we can do for now: Enjoy being by yourself. If you're where you want to be in life, go further, make yourself more interesting, and help brothers that are struggling. Women like it when a man is not desperate. I let them come to me at this point, because a woman who truly wants you won't leave. In this hyper-feminist, selfish world, a lot of women know the power they have over men and exercise it unrighteously: consciously or unconsciously. Overall, the state of the world has me in a bad mood, so I enjoy quiet. I can only handle certain types of people in my life anyway, lol.

 

Let's start with a quote by Jesus (unpublished):

How many dates did you go to this week? This month? This year?

 

How many women have you talked to?

 

I'm not going to count apps and online, because any man can do that. What about in real life?

 

Fair enough. You don't have to go to bars but the obvious needs to be said it couldnt hurt to talk to more women.

 

That's the spirit bro. I too used to be super reserved and reclusive but now I understand if I remain this way I'm going to die this way so I been getting out of my comfort zone and getting out there.

 

@EmperorLaStrang

Have you ever really gone after a woman, like with all your heart and soul? If not, then you really shouldn't beat up on yourself for not having one, because sometimes that's the only strategy that works.

 

Hopefully, you'll meet somebody else who inspires you like that. The singles game isn't for all of us, and the guys who tend to be better at it are those with lower morals.