Dating during Reboot

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by soap282, Nov 21, 2018.

  1. soap282

    soap282 Fapstronaut

    Hey fapstronauts I need some opinions.

    I’m dating this girl and we’ve been dating for alittle over 9 months and things are going great and I can’t complain about any of it. However, I am just starting my 90 day reboot and I’m only a few days into it. How do I have a hard PMO with a girlfriend? Do I refuse to have sex? If she offers or wants to what do I do? I don’t want her to think I’m not attracted to her because I am. Help me guys
  2. TheBigBadWolf

    TheBigBadWolf Fapstronaut

    Hey Dama,
    There is more to a relationship than sex! If your girlfriend gets upset at you for wanting to abstain from sex because you feel like you need too and tries to guilt you into it than that's a tell tale sign. You've been dating about 9 months now so you know your girlfriend better than we do. Don't be afraid to tell her about your decision to do PMO. If you instead try to hide it from her it will make things worse. Obviously if her and you had been having sex already it's going to come as a surprise to her potentially but if abstaining is that important to you and you make it clear to her, than she should understand. Also not having sex with her being your number one priority will make things better for your relationship in other aspects such as more personal communication, control over your sexual cravings, and you will have more time to get to know her and grow with her. The choice is yours Dama, but don't be afraid to stick to your guns!
  3. soap282

    soap282 Fapstronaut

    I don’t think she’ll get upset for me wanting to abstain, but I don’t know how to go about saying it. She would never guilt me into doing anything and that’s one of the reasons I’m so happy being with her. I just don’t know how to go about telling her about the PMO reboot and P addiction and everything because that’s something I would be uncomfortable to talk about. Thanks so much for the input!!!
  4. Try to explain it in simple terms or relate it to any other addiction. Don't weird her out and make her feel like she has to lock up her valuables around you. Honestly just make it sound "normal" and speak confidently. Unfortunately you sort of have to tell or it will likely make things difficult with all the shadiness but just make her feel like you know what your doing rather than just trying something you found on some Californian's blog.

    I was embarrassed at first and still am, though my wife was cool about it and frankly what's the alternative... you continue living with limp dick and other issues. There is litterly millions of men going through this issue, most of whom haven't found the answer yet. Behind all the happy social media accounts is a lot of PIED or variations of it, and if they don't have it now they are likely going to have it in the future. Everyone thinks they can be the "recreational" user and that issues won't affect them, good luck with that.

    Challenge and adversity is almost always good, you'll come out of this more confident because you overcame it.
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 22, 2018
  5. end_it_for_good

    end_it_for_good Fapstronaut

    I'd be honest.
    If you want to still do a reboot, I'd communicate to her that you used to watch porn, you don't anymore so that you can connect sexually in a more honest way.

    You could explain some of the stuff about how it helps to make sex feel better, how you want to not objectify anymore during sex, but instead want a genuine connection. That it won't be that long before you can have sex, when you do you'll have even fuller erections.

    Those will be some solid value adds for her. She will probably think you are a real catch for wanting honest connection.

    Alternatively if you feel like you can deal, you could offer to get her off in the meantime. Practice your oral skills.

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