Day 43 - I'm Confused

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by WillyWilliams, Aug 13, 2019.

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  1. WillyWilliams

    WillyWilliams Fapstronaut

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    So I made it to 43 days, but I'm really confused about a lot of things. Here's a general breakdown of what I've experienced so far:

    • Day 1 - 5 - Lot of temptation and urges.
    • Day 5 - 14 - Super powers! I had all of the amazing benefits everyone talks about like extreme energy, more brain power, euphoria, high motivation etc. Also functioned on 6hrs of sleep. No temptation or urges.
    • Day 14 - 26 - Slow loss of super powers. Still had way less anxiety & I was internally happy but could definitely tell I was starting to crash. No temptation or urges. I got my wisdom teeth out on day 26 & had to take Oxy pain meds for 4 days.
    • Day 25 - present - Very low energy, basically the same energy levels as before I quit P&M. Very hard to get work done & find myself laying in bed too long. Lots of temptation & urges. I have had a super clean diet & I work out every single day regardless of my energy levels. I have also quit alcohol this entire time (used to drink 4ish times per week). I should also mention that I got my wisdom teeth out
    This is what I'm confused about:
    -I only experienced a very minor loss of libido for a few days during the first 2 weeks, but was still able to have sex with my gf. A lot of people are saying that the limp dick is a good sign of a good reboot, but I only had a slightly limp dick for a couple of days. Is this because I didn't have full blown PIED? Before I quit P&M I would have a lot of sex on top of P&M.
    -During my "super power" phase I had no interest in girls around me, they would walk by and I wouldn't care. Now I feel like I'm distracted by all of these girls and I struggle to not look at them sexually. I also find myself getting distracted by Instagram pictures. During my super power phase I didn't even have to try, girls didn't distract me whatsoever. Will that ever come back? Or do I just have to try really hard to not have sexual thoughts?
    -I've been smoking pot daily for about 4 years. I'm not worried about relapsing at all, weed doesn't effect me like that. I use it to sleep, I use it to relax, I also use to be very productive. But I'm worried that weed, combined with caffeine, could be effecting my reboot. Thoughts?
    -Could sex be preventing me from getting a proper reboot? I've been having the most amazing orgasms (probably about 4-5 so far during this reboot) but I'm worried it could be messing up my energy levels. I noticed a big drop in energy when I had sex twice in 24hrs, so I'm currently on day 6 of no O.
     
  2. YoungBaller23

    YoungBaller23 Fapstronaut

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    This is only the start of recovery to what’s to come man, withdrawals are different for everyone but I can tell you that what your experiencing is just your brain trying to make you go back when it knows you arnt doing the normal routine you do (pmo) everyone’s withdrawals are different. Recovery isn’t going up hill it’s more of a rollercoaster. There’s going to be good and bad days it’s life but it’s about knowing long term recovery becomes easier. As for having sex with a partner I’m not sure how it effects recovery but it seems that’s fine to me
     
  3. Warren_Beatty

    Warren_Beatty Fapstronaut

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    A couple of things man........First off, stay away from instagram. Delete it, you dont need it in anyway. Trust me you'll feel a lot better without in your life. Second, the weed. You dont need that either. It does have an effect on your brain and your life would be happier and better without it.
    And third, I do think not having any sexual activity for the 90 days is the best way to go. I recall someone on these forums saying they were overcoming their addiction to Porn and masturbation and everything was going great......only that person was having sex 7 days a week with his girlfriend. In truth he hadnt overcome anything and had swapped one dependency for another. I've done this both ways, in a relationship where we were sexual active, and hard mode where there was no PMO. Hard mode was a lot more difficult and testing, but ultimately was the better experience and the way that I had a lot more personal growth. Its definitely easier to do this if you're in a relationship, but you just dont get the full benefits of a proper reset.
     
  4. WillyWilliams

    WillyWilliams Fapstronaut

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    I am a full time social media marketer so that's unfortunately not possible. I would love to get off Instagram.

    What full benefits is sex preventing?
     
  5. I am not here to morally judge, but you asked for some thoughts.
    Your sex life with your partner sounds fine by me. You are lucky because a lot of guys can only dream of sex with their partners now, thanks to their addiction to PMO.
    Since you cannot totally avoid Instagram, you need to deal with it. Can you control every thought that comes into your head? No. But can you accept them and dismiss them. You can say to yourself, "I may be enticed by this picture, but that's where it ends." Don't turn into some big battle.
    I avoid coffee after 12 pm. I feel the caffeine in it stokes the demon in your head that wants you to jerk off.
    I am not a fan of weed because I have seen several people who smoked it for years turn into brainless idiots by their mid-30s. If you say you need it, okay.
    But I do not want to get into a debate about it. I am sure you know much more about weed than me, but weed and caffeine? Seriously? One or the other, but not both, IMHO.
    The "super power" phase is a deceptive one. It is akin to falling in love. A huge rush of emotion. But we cannot go on like that for a long time. I am so glad that phase is over for me. If you are confused, maybe that is a sign that you are being more realistic and aware.
    I think you are going to do fine. Keep strong.
     
  6. Warren_Beatty

    Warren_Beatty Fapstronaut

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    The only way to find out the benefits of going no sex is to go no sex. Im afraid this is the only way you can find out. Let me say this though, dont see it as giving something up. Its about gaining here. Like i said, I did this while in a relationship and sexually active and also i did it hard mode. I honestly feared hard mode and "giving up" sex but when i took the plunge what i soon realised was that my fears were ungrounded. Instead of feeling like i was missing something i felt like a whole new way of seeing the world opened up to me. I believe most people are actually addicted to sex. They fear being without it but when you face this fear you realise that happiness is there to be experienced, without sex. It seems counter intuitive, you would assume that you would be less happy without it but thats not the truth. I reached a point where i realised that I was genuinely happy with no sex in my life whatsoever. It was liberation. It meant there was nothing i was trying to get from a woman, i had no agenda. But also it meant that no woman had any power over me. If the most beautiful woman in the world offered sex to me if probably turn her down. Because now i would only have sex if it really meant something. But im more interested in seeing who the person is as opposed to wanting to satisfy my urges with their body. So it makes you see beyond the physical and you are no longer concerned whether or not things end in sex. Which like i said, is liberating.
     
  7. clapas

    clapas Fapstronaut

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    Not preventing, but from what I have read, slowing down your reboot. Hard mode shakes the brain harder, it forces it to change quicker. Again, that's what I have read.
     
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  8. YoungBaller23

    YoungBaller23 Fapstronaut

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    Man this is definitely a good mindset, but did it take a while for u too create this habit?
     
  9. Warren_Beatty

    Warren_Beatty Fapstronaut

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    I took about 4 years all in all!!! Im joking.....kind of. I first did NoFap in 2015 so from there its been an on-going evolution. I think after a while you just start to see things more clearly. Its like red pill v's blue pill in the matrix. My sex drive is very healthy so its not like ive switched off. The difference now is i can feel sexual feelings and just experience them without having to act on those feelings. I can allow it to just do its thing and pass right through me. Whereas before i wouldve acted out on those feelings, being a complete slave really. Noe theres a choice and in no longer a slave to any feelings or impulses. I still love women but im more relaxed now in my relationship to them, theres nothing i need from a woman and because of this In completely myself around them. Not trying to impress any one or win them over, no agenda. The irony is my relationships with women are the best theyve ever been and continue to get better. So its worth alm the effort to free yourself from PMO addiction because once you do you see that theres a whole other world out there thats healthy and filled with joy.
     
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  10. YoungBaller23

    YoungBaller23 Fapstronaut

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    Definitely man, Urges have no control over me. Curiosity is where it can get the best of me but I manage to stay almost two years clean so it’s no biggie to do it again :)
     

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