Day 6: begginig of the surge.

Hi Kuroki, if by "surge" you mean withdrawals, the main thing is understanding what they are and how they are going to feel. An excellent article on withdrawals can be found at yourbrainonporn.com

The reason we watch porn is dopamine; we like it, it is a drug found in our brain's reward center. It is released when we have hypersexualized thoughts, such as those we have when viewing porn. Porn is the button we push to get a dopamine fix.

The first thing you need to do is take time not to fix on dopamine, not to release it. This advice is very hard to do for you right now because in the middle of withdrawals, all we want to do is give ourselves dopamine.

First, do not feed your triggers, do not indulge your triggers. This means no porn at all, simply do not experience it or watch it. If you have not already done so, put K9 porn blocker on your computer immediately. Also, if you have a smart phone that can access porn find a blocker and if you cannot find one, trade it in for a dumb phone. Take time to put things between you and your problem.

This should go without saying, but no MO and no edging--don't do anything to give yourself a dopamine fix.

Lastly--and this is very difficult--you have to find some way of distracting yourself from sexual thoughts. A lot of guys distinguish between seeing porn and thinking of sex, but in the quitting stage both will cause a dopamine release, so it's not enough to just not PMO, you have to keep hypersexualized thoughts out of your head, don't let them get in there and roll around.

If this is withdrawals, you are going to have them for at least a few days, my guess, at least 10 more days, after which they will lessen considerably. That is not science, but personal experience and from reading other guys posts here. The main thing I want to tell you is that they are going to hurt, you are going to want to climb the walls.

I'll give you some advice that worked for me. Don't tell yourself the withdrawals are going to end eventually and that you can hold out until then. Tell yourself that you feel horrible, but that is the price you are willing to pay every day, forever, if it means you are breaking the chains. Either way the withdrawals will lessen and pass, but being willing to feel them forever makes feeling them for a few days or even weeks more doable. At least it did for me.

Good luck in your journey.

 

Yes, but the beginning also leads to the end

 

I have 2 simple things to help when the urges get bad:

1. Go for a walk, whatever the weather. It'll clear your head and keep you away from the computer.

2. To displace any fantasies or memories creeping into my head, I count. 1,2,3,4, repeat. It crowds out any other thoughts and so it's quite good as a temporary fix.

: )