Dealing with Death grip. while seeing some one

Discussion in 'Dating during a Reboot' started by Mr.Personality, Jul 11, 2017.

  1. Mr.Personality

    Mr.Personality New Fapstronaut

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    Hello, I'm 27. Recently, about a month ago, I lost my virg......
    She's 36.
    Anyways.

    I did more than my fair share of death grip, and now it makes it difficult to hold stimulation from her vagina.

    She is very understanding, but is convinced it's an "all in you head" issue
    I don't think so. In fact I had to tell her, that, BJ's and other positions don't stimulate me nearly as much.
    Even her holding it is not nearly as noticeable than my hand.

    She often asks "doesn't this hurt"
    Nope...

    So, I wanna try this no pmo thing, for x amount of days, but don't know how one would go about it with a partner?

    Thanks

    P.s.
    I also bought some dr.organic vitamin oil to help regain sensitivity
     
  2. KillMyDarlings

    KillMyDarlings Fapstronaut

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    No oil will help you regain sensitivity

    It's muscle memory

    Stop using it the way you have, and in, time, because there are no shortcuts to recovery, it will return to normal

    Just like how when you close your eyes, you can still remember how to put one foot in front of the other, your brain has adjusted to the behaviour over many years

    Your dick does not have special receptors that control what it feels any different, aside from arousal

    You have trained it to feel a certain way, so reset it by not touching yourself

    Or...get your partner to be rougher, with your instruction...

    Good luck...
     
  3. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    I got a better idea. If you relapse tell her she can whack your butt with a wooden spoon. Trust me if you feel it once on your butt relapse will not even be an option.
     
    KillMyDarlings likes this.
  4. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Do you watch porn too? Or is your problem just death grip? I'm a SO and my partner has both problems. Often what seems to be a physical sensation of numbness is actually in your head. So you are not stimulated enough mentally so you don't feel much you are not aroused enough. With a death grip reboot here is what worked for us. Cut out masturbation entirely and if you use porn that too. Do not use your hand during sex at all. Continue to engage in sexual activity with her and pleasure her but give it a set amount of time. If you can't fully perform or can't O once she's satisfied stop and try again another day. It sounds like she's on board so that's good. It will take time but if you stick to the agreement you will heal. I will say that after 90 days my partner still can't orgasm from sex but he can from my hand and mouth which was impossible before. He's also regained sensation. He used to only have feeling in one spot on the head but now he has feeling in the whole thing. Physically if you grip too hard you can overtime develop almost a callous like skin that will heal. But most of it is a psychological thing. You've told your body that orgasm comes from your hand and since this is your first experience you have no idea how amazing O with a partner can be. Be patient. Be honest and keep your hands off yourself !
     
    kalloses likes this.
  5. Mr.Personality

    Mr.Personality New Fapstronaut

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    She like to go fast sometimes, like everyone else I suppose, I prefer slow, because I can feel her much better. I've reached orgasm 80% of the time.
     
  6. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    It you O about 80% of the time from vaginal sex for someone with DE that's great unless it takes you really really long to do it. I can't tell if you are saying she likes it fast meaning for you to O sooner or if you mean that you are moving your body quickly. As someone with a partner who used to take 40 minutes to an hour that was miserable and painful. What is your concern with death grip then? If you cut out the porn you probably would be at 100%
     
  7. do it for yourself whether she stays or not. she could be a temporary person in your life
     
    GG2002 likes this.
  8. Drew140

    Drew140 Guest

    If he can orgasm over 80 percent from vaginal sex he has no death grip
     
  9. faplordxd

    faplordxd Fapstronaut

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    Your fine just keep up on nofap
     
  10. Mina_fanta

    Mina_fanta Fapstronaut

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    What's a death grip ? What's that mean ?
     
  11. GG2002

    GG2002 Fapstronaut

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    Hi death grip refers to when a man MO’s in a way that is not likely to be replicated by another person. It often entails a very tight grip (not always), and/or rapid pace, or can mean there is just one certain spot that must be touched to reach O. Some men do damage to their penis’ actual physical damaging. But those that do have it over time have a combination of actual physical issues and mental ones. Their penis has lost physical sensation and their mind has told them they can only O one way. A vagina does not come close to feeling like your hand, its totally different. And women have a much softer touch. With my ex who had this, he also never used lubrication when he MOed and that made it worse. He ne needed a high level of rapid friction that nothing other than his own hand could replicate and demonstrated extreme resistance to any other stimulation. Often men who have been long time single, have no idea they have it until they try to have sex and it fails.
     

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