Hi! Today was day 7. I wa sbrowsing the web and stumbled over some arousing videos. They were not porn but arousing to me. Long story short I O'd but without watching porn. I was just looking at a pic of my SO. So, did I relapse? I only do abstain from masturbation not intercourse but rn my SO is in another coubtry than me.
With your SO far away I'm not sure what to say. Maybe bring this up with her and discuss how to engage as a couple at this distance.
Technically, that was PMO and a relapse, so you need to reset your counter. If you're MOing to any arousing pictures, that's PMO, regardless of whether most people would consider the pictures P. It's all about intent. If you look at any pictures with the intent of arousal, that's P. If you dwell on pictures too long, that's P. It's P because it's activating those pathways in your brain, and preventing you from healing. To reboot, you have to refrain from activating those pathways. Any voluntary activation of the pathways calls for a reset. Involuntary things are not a reset or relapse, if you don't dwell on it.
Chemically speaking, it's the same. The same dopamine for the same actions. However, in spite of what the other people say, yes - intent does matter. When you're watching porn, your intent is having pleasure by fantasizing about sex - though it isn't important with whom. When you find pictures of your SO arousing and end up MOing, you're fantasizing about being close to them, pleasuring each other and feeling good together. It's not the same as porn, as you're not addicted to it. As long as sex isn't the most important thing for you in your relationship and you don't let this become a habit, you don't have to worry about it. Either way, it doesn't exactly help your addiction to PMO and dopamine, but your progress isn't crushed. Merely halted I would say.
