Discomfort when sex is discussed

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by mihmihero, May 14, 2019.

  1. Hey guys, I just wanted to ask for some advice. There might be some small triggers in the post.

    So, as the title suggests, I need help because every time sex is brought up in conversations i feel REALLY uncomfortable and i dont know what to do. The reason is because i've never been in a relationship and I'm still a virgin. I feel really bad about not having that experience and that translates into a discomfort when its brought up, its like a sore spot that hurts when you touch it. I am currently at university and the worst is at parties or pubs where people get drunk and play this game called "Never have I ever" where a person declares something they did and if noone else has done it they have to drink. Now the thing is, its always about sex so when people play it, I feel really uneasy participating because they'll be like " Never have I ever, gotten a blowjob from two girls at once" or " Never have I ever, tried bondage" or "Never have I ever, been in an orgy"...you get how it works. I'm sitting there really awkwardly thinking "I never even had sex in the first place" and then I feel this wave of dread and depression hit me. I just feel so pathetic and ashamed when that game comes up as its purpose is to compare your sexual experience with others. That ruins my whole night and consequentially any chances I might have had to ACTUALLY have sex that night.

    The worst thing about this is that the most common conversation that involves sex is the one actually leading up to it. I met this girl that i liked in a common friends group a while ago. Lets call her Maria. So Maria's friend comes up to me and says " Maria told me she finds you really hot, maybe if you play your cards right, you could sleep together tonight". Well thats all nice and good but I have absolutely no idea what the "cards" are supposed to be? How do I even move the conversation to sex? Do I just tell her "Come back to my place?When do I tell her? How do i initiate sex? I DONT KNOW!! I am just afraid and confused all the time. I know this is most likely just a matter of confidence but I just feel so worthless and pathetic for being excluded from this thing that everyone seems to know. Like everyone around me takes this for granted but I genuinely have absolutely no idea what to do and I'm scared. In the end , the girl assumed I dont like her and lost interest as with previous girls.

    Does anyone else experience the same thing? If so, how do you deal with it?
    CH3RRY likes this.
  2. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

    I have that too. I just stare at nothing with a blank expression until they are done with the subject.
  3. Don’t know much about that, I’d say use google, YouTube, and other resources. Best of luck

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