Wow, I must say I'm in awe of how cool and composed (and protective of your children) you are. It was such a terrible read and I felt tears streaming down my face. My heart goes out to you, it was like reliving my almost identical story. Like always in these situations, I wish I had really good advice to give. Fortunately, there are a lot of knowledgeable people on this site. Your boyfriend seems to be very deep in denial, I don't know if it's his age or his pride or his addiction, or an unfortunate combination of all these factors, but he is on the way to loose it all and I hope for a miracle that he realises that. All the best to you.