Escalated much farther than I'd ever Imagined...(Trigger Warning)

Hi,

this is such a coincidence - I never am on NoFap and just now I just decided to visit the website - first forum entry I open and read is yours -

man, its crazy how many similarities there are between us. I don't share the experience of the fetish you describe, but I exactly now what you are talking about with the chat room, I had the exact same situation a few years ago. Also, I'm a musician too, and talked about these issues in groups in my old church, so lots of similarities. And I'm 26, like you.

I've been deep into the chat thing up until 2015 - back then I came clean to a friend, which instantly freed me from that behavior. Sadly in the past year or so this specific thing came back into my life, not as heavy like it was years ago, but it happened a few times, and might happen again.

Man, I am praying for you so you can get free of all this - seems like we both are in a similar space. Don't give up man, there is always hope for a new beginning. I had that freedom for a few years, and it was awesome, so its time to get back there.

Just needed to share this, wish you the best!

 

Have you been talking with someone from your church specifically about the chat room thing? I think it would help. It's scary to open up with something like that, but its the best thing you can do for sure.

 

I'll tell you what: there are chatroom that are assisted by AI. Sometimes, you're not even talking with real persons. You're basically getting stimulated by a computer algorithm. Listen you're not weird, and not homosexual. When you start watching porn, your dopamine increases. You start with normal sexual intercourse videos, but eventually you saturate your dopamine receptors. So you need something more violent, crazy, socially less accepted. There you go, watching Gangbang, guys that destroy and humilate women, they spit on them, slap them. You saturate again, and then you need even more crazy stuff. And at some point you end with transwomen, Guys dressing like babies, hairy, old man, pedo stuff, who knows.
Just to tell you, it is normal that it gets worse, you're not more weird than any of us.
I was all about black transwomen in the end, desperately hoping to meet one, so that I can deepthroat them.
But when you quit, it will go away.
Today this idea is absolutely absurd and I feel ashamed that I had these thoughts.