Escalating things are the opposite of success.

I've heard of NoFap before. It's a great idea. I'm married (straight), 24 and porn has always been an issue. I also identify as big and lately, straight porn became boring. And since I don't find gay porn interesting, I decided to use Omegle to find gay/bi people to "trade pics with."

I don't really have a drive to watch any porn, but I discovered that I'm sort of an exobitionist (spell check couldn't help me). I don't really like looking at others, but I like people looking at me. I would consider myself attractive to a degree, and I didn't want to cheat on my wife with a girl, so I went for guys... Long story short. I'm tired of waking up with a "porn hang over," so I just want to quit cold turkey. I'm here to share my experience and it's not a road I recommend.

After everything is over, I feel empty and alone. Most people on the internet used me for pictures and then they were gone (which is good for me, I supposed I used them too).

I claim to be a Christian, and I am a sinful person as anyone is. I just wish I wasn't addicted to sex. Why can't it be money, or power? Lol, it would be better to not have an addiction at all.

I have dreams and aspirations that become difficult to achieve when sex problems get in the way.

My wife is very good and fufilling for and to me and I went behind her back to do these things. Even if I wasn't with her, it would be unhealthy for me honestly. I know what path I want to take in life and I sometimes fall I to traps of the world.

I feel like my recent pic trading is the opposite of success. And porn brought me to this point. I think one reason I think k I am big is because porn with females was bad in my mind, so I went to look for men because I couldn't compare them to my wife.

I understand my problem, and now I have to make the choice to change it. That's my first step.

The second is not never go back to the things I don't want.

Thank you for reading this.