experimenting with myself

hey everyone. i'm new here. my english is not perfect so please help me learn the language too.
i opened this topic to share my own experiences day by day.
i'm 27 and i watched a lot of porn and masturbated a lot. since i live alone (6 years) my masturbation became even bigger part of my life. i watched really hardcore porn and got exited about it and masturbated at least once a day. when i have to work all day (10h+) then i normaly don't masturbate. i had a girl years ago and since we broke up i only had sex with girls i had to pay to have sex. i'm not good at meeting girls but the best at getting female friends (i don't need them). usually is like this: i meet a girl (if) and after some time i see if she can be part of my life in a relationship. but here is the trick. when i say that i like her girls reaction is always we can e friends right? getting friends is my strongest spot in life. but getting dates in 7 years being single = 000!!
when i did not masturbate for 14 days (my personal best) i noticed that my body after workout is getting stronger and stronger so fast that i could not belive. i even felt a vibe which i can not explain. i felt so full of energy and horny like hell. my only tought was having sex. which never happened of course.
so i joined you guys. i want to see how long can i last without orgasms and thinking about sex. the problem is that in the summer my coworker shoed her extremely hot body. i just love her but i'm to clumsy to ask her out. i just don't know how to do it because i always get rejected or friendzoned. i'm sick of this. i'm also thinking to say goodbye to the idea of having a girl sometime because of my lack of knowledge.
because of all of this i decidet to stop masturbating. i stopped 2 days ago. i want to feel the vibe that forces me to do it but i must resist.
i will report on how am i doing.
please share your experiences and advices.

i salute you all

 

hello everyone. it's my 3rd day of no fapping. i don't feel any different but i have a goal. i want to becaome great. why? i have a coworker who looks great. i have always had a fanatsy to have a woman with great sporty legs and nice feet ans she is like that. and there is another woman who i think is my soulmate but she sees me only as a friend. i decided to become great to have one of them.

today what i did was nothing special. i was at the office of my accountant, had a chat, then i went back home and did a meditation, claned up a bit the appartment, watched no faping videos on youtube, cooked a lunch and went to work. i came home few minutes ago and i will not watch porn and masturbate to fall in coma when i jizz but i will watch everybody hates chris and eat something. if i will not feel to watch series anymore i will just go to meditate agai or to sleep.

when i sleep i have a hard erections. always. even so hard that it hurts like hell and i can not sleep because of pain. this is kind of hard material i wanted to stick between my coworkers feet.

tomorrow is a new day. i have no idea when to expect the results... i can't wait to feel the vibe when i get horny like an animal. i want this challenge to come as quic as possible to deal with it

 

day 4 is done. no desire to watch porn. i had a little fantasy about a woman but i tried to think about something else. i did read a stupid book just not to think about sex, women, porn, masturbation... i deleted about 100GB of porn i had on my comp and i did not even watch all of them. i will miss my fav pornstars but i hope to find my real life star. i still wait for that demon inside of me to come drag me into porn but he did not arrive yet. i still wait for that vibe when you get horny like a lion but that did not happen either. i feel something at my stomach wher sexual chakra is and i feel some pressure in my balls. i don't know if this is placebo effect or something more connected to masturbation. i did not feel this even when i did not masturbate for 14 days. i will see tomorrow how the life will be. for now... i see no major changes

 

to be honest nothing but i don't to have friends anymore. i want to have a woman who will love me and i will love her even more. if i want a friend i just i like you and then she will say great so we can be friends. it sucks actually you know.

today is my day 6. yesterday i had a pretty boring day. i wanted to sleep a bit because i wake up at 4am for no reason and can't sleep longer. i have to solve this shit somehow.
today i had a vivid dreams. i had a dream of my coworker enjoying my company which is weird because she does not even see me now but okay. and i had a dream of a prostitute i have met long time ago and slept with. she wanted me to take her somewhere but did not want to give me her nr.

how do i feel after 6 days? nothing much changed. i feel pain in my throat. i don't know if my voice will get even stronger or am i just going to be sick i have some temptation sometimes but i try to redirect my mind. to know how will i feel if i relaps drives my further and i repeat this in my mind everytime i think about some pornstar or to masturbate. i will not do it even if my fav pornsite is making better nd better scenes and shit is violent. i will not let myself down. period

 

i do not worry abbout it at all because everytime i says to some gorl that i like her we are friends at the end. i want this to stop and women stop seeing me as a friend. i do not want to be a friend all my life. i want a beutiful woman not an average woman because i am not an average man.
today my day 6 is ending with succes. no PMO and no desire to do it at all. i still wait for the vibe that will make me crazy horny but till today nothing happened.
i got a bon appetit from the woman i like at my job. she noticed me... because i was alone outside but till today she never said a word. we are getting somewhere slowly. she needs to smile next time and i will try to talk to her

 

my day 7 is done. i have been doing a litle social life. a waitress at the bar was very polite and nice, having a smile telling me to enjoy my day. i felt like people stare at me more than usual. the coworker did not see me again but who cares. i feel some pain at the area of adams apple. does someone know why? i have deep voice but now is even deeper. it is not trembling anymore but is clear and deep all the time and i feel it is more relaxed. i can speak normaly like i never did before i was not on some loud place when it is hard to speak because of loud music. i have the same feeling like the morning after i had to scream like insane after long night. it is the same deep voice but now is constant and it feels great. i only hope the pain in adams apple will vanish.
no desire for porn... just some fanatsy about my coworker but she does not see me again. well i will not cry over a woman because i will not allow some woman to be stronger than me. no way. i am the legend and i know it. im special and thats it. if someone will recognize it and accept me like that than she can stay with me. unless this happens i will be happy and alone.
tomorrow i start to work at 7h till 14h so i will sure not have time to watch porn. but i will wake up with iron stick between my legs.
i salute you all my new friends

 

day 8 is done. no pmo desire at all. i wanted to check out one italian older woman who i wanted to have sex witj but i did not. she is the one you have to pay for but i never looked at women like there is anny difference between if they have sex for free and enjoy it or make some money out of it.
my adams apple still makes me problems and i still don't know why. is it higher hormone level or something.. but my voice is deeper. and i still don't feel needy like i was sometimes when i did not masturbate for 2 days for example. i do not feel that vibe that is forcing you to do it. i think this is kinda strange

 

day 10 is over. no PMO. had 2 jobs today so i had no time to think about other thing. i could barely have time to eat. changes i see to day are: relaxed throat and much clearer voice, my eyes have more energy, i can see the screen even in the evening which never happened with the glasses i use now, i sleep a bit better, i find porn disgusting, i find sex disgusting, i'm sure i will stay single for two reasons. im not good at aproaching,meeting and flirting with women. i find sex disgusting. thats all for now. i salute you all

 

day 11 is now over. i feel ok. i'm not tired after doing 2 jobs. the only thing that bothers me now i the feeling like i have a rock on my balls. can someone tell me why do i feel like this? i have a rock on my balls!! or someone is grabbing my balls. the next thing is that i still think i'm done with women. i'm sure i will stay alone no matter how many of you say i have to realx and thing will go with the flow. no my friends. it is simple when you know what you are doing. if you are not an experienced womanizer you are a friend and this is who i am for 7 years now. i'm not going to be womens friend. i salute you all

 

no i don't workout now because i have 2 jobs and i have no time to do other stuff. in both jobs i sit so... it is not good for my body. can't wait to my contract to expire at one job so i will have more time for myself

 

day 13 is over. i do not notice any other change. maybe i am a bit more polite to other people but i still don't like to talk to some people i think it will stay like this