Extreme Social Anxiety with Women

Hey Everyone!

So I guess I'm not like totally new to the Dating thing.... I ran nightclubs for a few years so it gave me kind of an edge with massive amounts of girls that would go; plus I forced myself to do red pill pickup for about a year; gave me more confidence but I feel like I've lost it with how crazy my brain is right now (undergoing withdrawals from Adderall snorting plus quit anti depressants about a month ago).

Like... This won't make a ton of sense, I've been with a lot of women; but many a times it's more just because I had the option too, a set of really good modeling pictures on a Tinder/Okcupid and POF coupled with a very savvy copy paste message and an exercise bike... Plus as I said I did pickup for awhile and would get many numbers that way.

But seeing as I was PMOING that entire time not only would my relationships never work out, I developed issues... Still had massive Social Anxiety around women I found attractive.

Not only that, it's my Ego which gets in the way 90% of the time. Almost like an entitlement complex and anger and resentment towards women for going for the "good looking" guys even though it's fairly obvious with all that pent up resentment I can't be giving off very good vibes.

I know if I can just reboot my dopamine pathways things would be better but.... It's like I'm afraid to go out there and talk to women. I'd rather just sit on that stupid exercise bike and copy paste message girls on dating sites (which seeing as they have become more popular are a little harder to pop lots of numbers off like I did in the old days).

In any case relationships or no I need to figure out my anxiety issues and I need to fight it without any pills.

Any advice on... Navigating dating during a reboot while simultaneously trying to not get obsessed over it and then feeling all lonely and shit because I don't actually go talk to any women in person; (you know by actually approaching them and saying hello?).

Note: I feel the difference on a streak, even a small one like 3 - 4 days. I'm frustrated as all hell but I give off a completely different vibe.

I just want to be able to have normal relationships, like one that lasts longer than a couple months. You know... Like fall in love and all that sappy stuff.