Fapstronauts please help my life from masturbation.

Beybladefan

Beybladefan

Fapstronaut
Hi,
I have been suffering from porn and fapping since 2 years.i have no energy, hairloss, feel like shit and always depressed due to low dopamine receptors.i fap like 4 times a day average and i want change my life better.
Please help me Fapstronauts.
 
Warfman said:
Be more descriptive. Do you fantasize about having a relationship? Do you feel lonely, bored, or putting off things you should be doing? Think about this and describe it.
Click to expand...
I am doing fap like everyday atleast average 4times a days and high record was 7times for approx 7 month. I am addicted to fap for 2 years and starting fap at mid 16, in my mid 17 (1 year later in fapping) my hair density is very low that people point out my hair and my friends taunted me because of hair and my parents get sad because of low hair density at this age, now i am 18 and doing nofap and 2 times nofap 40 days record, now more than 18 days, if i do nofap for like long days does my hair regrow and thick where it was, becomes i have thick hair and lot of hair during late 16 and early 17.
So i am insecure and feel depressed and introvert (don't know how to talk to people)
So i do fapping.
 
Beybladefan said:
I am doing fap like everyday atleast average 4times a days and high record was 7times for approx 7 month. I am addicted to fap for 2 years and starting fap at mid 16, in my mid 17 (1 year later in fapping) my hair density is very low that people point out my hair and my friends taunted me because of hair and my parents get sad because of low hair density at this age, now i am 18 and doing nofap and 2 times nofap 40 days record, now more than 18 days, if i do nofap for like long days does my hair regrow and thick where it was, becomes i have thick hair and lot of hair during late 16 and early 17.
So i am insecure and feel depressed and introvert (don't know how to talk to people)
So i do fapping.
Click to expand...

So three things that seem to be issues you have expressed are.

1. What others think about you/ Approval of others.

2. Your self image. And feeling comfortable in your own skin.

3. Feeling uncomfortable talking to people.

Do you have anxiety talking to women and fear being rejected?

That's a good start! And the good news is there are things you can do to change them. And there's info out there on each of those. Good books you can read. Keep thinking about this and you will likely realize more.

From my experience. You can't make or force anyone else to approve of you. Trying to stop PMO to get acceptance isn't something I've felt is possible because eventually no matter what, you will feel someone isn't approving of you at some point and you are going to then think it's not working and then relapses happen. To me the most important thing is focus on approving of yourself first.

You might not be able to control your hair thickness. But there are things that you can do. Work on lifting weights, eating healthy, taking care of your mental health. Like you've said that may affect you in a positive way.

You can't just instantly change yourself but feeling comfortable talking to people is a skill that can be improved on. I remember being younger and being absolutely terrified of giving a speech in front of my peers. Since then though I've been a college coach where I gave presentations and coached in front of hundreds of people many much older than me and it wasn't something I worried about at all. The key here is to slowly learn to "stretch" my comfort zone by putting myself in situations where I wasn't comfortable. It's not always easy. But in time you can develop your ability to communicate with people.

There's one thing that you probably realize that is holding all this back though from changing. And I'm sure you know this is an issue. PMOing multiple times a day and choosing that over heathy behaviors will keep you from improving in these areas.

Use this site as a way to express yourself and these issues so that people who have lived experiences can help give you suggestions and perspective.
 
You might want to look into joining a recovery group like SLAA or sex addicts anonymous. Also you can ask for an AP on this site.. You need hobbies,activities, and social interaction to keep your mind busy and get it free of masturbation. Its good that you are reaching out to others. That's a good start.
 
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Warfman said:
So three things that seem to be issues you have expressed are.

1. What others think about you/ Approval of others.

2. Your self image. And feeling comfortable in your own skin.

3. Feeling uncomfortable talking to people.

Do you have anxiety talking to women and fear being rejected?

That's a good start! And the good news is there are things you can do to change them. And there's info out there on each of those. Good books you can read. Keep thinking about this and you will likely realize more.

From my experience. You can't make or force anyone else to approve of you. Trying to stop PMO to get acceptance isn't something I've felt is possible because eventually no matter what, you will feel someone isn't approving of you at some point and you are going to then think it's not working and then relapses happen. To me the most important thing is focus on approving of yourself first.

You might not be able to control your hair thickness. But there are things that you can do. Work on lifting weights, eating healthy, taking care of your mental health. Like you've said that may affect you in a positive way.

You can't just instantly change yourself but feeling comfortable talking to people is a skill that can be improved on. I remember being younger and being absolutely terrified of giving a speech in front of my peers. Since then though I've been a college coach where I gave presentations and coached in front of hundreds of people many much older than me and it wasn't something I worried about at all. The key here is to slowly learn to "stretch" my comfort zone by putting myself in situations where I wasn't comfortable. It's not always easy. But in time you can develop your ability to communicate with people.

There's one thing that you probably realize that is holding all this back though from changing. And I'm sure you know this is an issue. PMOing multiple times a day and choosing that over heathy behaviors will keep you from improving in these areas.

Use this site as a way to express yourself and these issues so that people who have lived experiences can help give you suggestions and perspective.
Click to expand...
Your absolutely right all of those things about me(even i am shocked how exactly it is) and i am going to break this addiction thank you
 
Beybladefan said:
Your absolutely right all of those things about me(even i am shocked how exactly it is) and i am going to break this addiction thank you
Click to expand...

So for you to break the addition I find you need to try and continue this analysis on how you feel constantly. And try and learn from it. I highly recommend continuing to document how you feel here. There are probably lots of reasons similar to these ones we have talked about that you may not even realize for a while. You can do it but it takes a lot of time effort and discipline.

The rewards though will be worth it. Though because you will become a man you are proud of.
 
Thanks man you are really disciplined me.
But i feel nervous around the girls and can't talk to them normally like I talk to boys (because i am studied in boys school and now i am first year college student which is boys and girls class)even one girl ask me something and i don't even look at her and act like i don't hear her and other boy tell her the answer.I really care about how others think about me and uncomfortable to talk to girls and some high value men like popular boys.
Warfman said:
So for you to break the addition I find you need to try and continue this analysis on how you feel constantly. And try and learn from it. I highly recommend continuing to document how you feel here. There are probably lots of reasons similar to these ones we have talked about that you may not even realize for a while. You can do it but it takes a lot of time effort and discipline.

The rewards though will be worth it. Though because you will become a man you are proud of.
Click to expand...
 
Beybladefan said:
Thanks man you are really disciplined me.
But i feel nervous around the girls and can't talk to them normally like I talk to boys (because i am studied in boys school and now i am first year college student which is boys and girls class)even one girl ask me something and i don't even look at her and act like i don't hear her and other boy tell her the answer.I really care about how others think about me and uncomfortable to talk to girls and some high value men like popular boys.
Click to expand...

I understand that fear. It's a fear of rejection. You are likely worried about being humiliated. I remember having dreams that I went to school in my underwear and everyone was making fun of me. Those fears can consume us.

Not only that but, other males can be very cruel. I remember "competing" for girls with other guys in high school. It can be ruthless.

This can change as you put yourself out there more and more.

I think it's hard when we are young to realize that instances like this (where we are rejected by a girl or feel humiliated) that it is the end of the world and that our lives are over. This is not true even though it feels that way. It's an experience to be learned from and grow from.

You can't live life expecting to never get hurt. PMO can be that place that feels safe because you don't risk any of these things. But it is very damaging to your emotional and spiritual self. It actually makes us less desirable to women, and adds to our fear of being "found out" which humiliates us more.
 
Warfman said:
I understand that fear. It's a fear of rejection. You are likely worried about being humiliated. I remember having dreams that I went to school in my underwear and everyone was making fun of me. Those fears can consume us.

Not only that but, other males can be very cruel. I remember "competing" for girls with other guys in high school. It can be ruthless.

This can change as you put yourself out there more and more.

I think it's hard when we are young to realize that instances like this (where we are rejected by a girl or feel humiliated) that it is the end of the world and that our lives are over. This is not true even though it feels that way. It's an experience to be learned from and grow from.

You can't live life expecting to never get hurt. PMO can be that place that feels safe because you don't risk any of these things. But it is very damaging to your emotional and spiritual self. It actually makes us less desirable to women, and adds to our fear of being "found out" which humiliates us more.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your advice, i improving now, but one incident happen today my lecturer asks me to stand up and ask questions but i am very nervous and fear, I know the answer but when i stand completely everything forget i don't remember a thing but i say little by little with sweats but after lecturer gone, i say the answer fluently in my mind. English is my second language and i can understand and i can speak but not fluently because of nervous and fear, but i can speak fluently in my mind.
 
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