Feeling guilty leads me to porn

Hello all,

I would like to share something about myself to see if anyone else is experiencing the same thing.

When I am on abstinence mode, the slightest hint of pornography or any explicit or sexual image in a game or video makes me guilty because I can feel it in my heart that I want it and that I would love to satisfy the urge.

The guilt feeling piles up until one day, I feel its inevitable to fall because I got to the point where I feel that I must be a very bad person, that is when I probably give in and watch P to my heart's content.

Any advise would really be helpful, because I am 7 day in and the guilt feeling is starting to creep up on me.

 

Thanks alot Tao for the link , God bless you, I am in Christ, I love and trust him with all my heart, that is why I feel guilty, from one side I want to prevent myself from looking to be closer to him and enjoy being near him in the light, and the other side is trying to make me look, my eye widens with any hint of exotic images and unfortunately its all around, I hate it but sometimes its just too hard not to look. its hard not to notice, with every time I notice and look, the guilt becomes unbearable, then I feel like I cannot forgive myself for looking that I might as well go all way.

this is the first time I am exposing my thoughts like this publicly (if this can be called publicly xD but I am thankful that this forum exist), only my father of confession know all about it, I am saying what I am feeling even though I theoretically know how to deal with it (by knowing that my nature is indeed weak but instead of trying to fight it alone and fail, I should go to God for protection every time I am tempted). May God help me and everyone here overcome the temptations, I should fight the urges with everything I have got. by time I know the fight becomes easier.