Hi all, I have come to my senses over the past couple of days and realised i am not working at this recovery from the correct standpoint. I have been looking at what can i do to make my relationship work, looking for forgiveness. behaving like i should have done. Yesterday afternoon whilst swimming i realised that what i really need to do is to put myself in the mind of my SO, scary place for all of us addicts i know. I have downloaded an audio book to listen to to help (for women) "Intimate Deception" by Dr Sheri Keffer. I will give reviews about how this has helped in a few days for my followers. I have also been researching recovery for partners and trying to not read thinking i already do that but look at the facts and assess the feelings and how i can help. I am past the stage about worrying about touching myself and looking at porn and am really ready to look deep into my partners pain, empathise and hopefully help in her recovery. I'm not sure how this will go but i am getting a positive response from her, not enough yet to be intimate or have sex but thats ok. Its a long journey we are on whichever path it takes and i am determined to kill the PMO beast in my head once and for all even if my SO decides not to stay with me. No easy task for a man that has PMO'd from teens to 35 and not had a real positive normal sexual relationship. I will keep my journal updated and if i do get positive results will share here.